Content Warning: Abusive Relationships, TikTok Pranks, Mentions of Sexual Assault
There are three kinds of people in the world: people who don’t mind being pranked, people who hate being pranked, and people who do the pranking.
And since TikTok boomed with pranking trends, pranks have been getting a whole lot meaner, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor CremaDepilatoria99 had not enjoyed her boyfriend’s fixation on pranks in the past year and a half, but she especially did not want to be the subject of his pranks.
But when he refused to respect her boundaries and exposed her in public, the Original Poster (OP) decided enough was enough, despite how long they’d been dating.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend because he ripped my jeans in public?”
The OP was uncomfortable with her boyfriend’s new interest in TikTok pranking videos.
“My boyfriend have been dating for five years.”
“Now, he uploads various pranks he makes with his friends to TikTok. When I started dating him, he didn’t do this or behave like this. The pranks started a year and a half ago.”
“From that time, I asked him not to include me in his pranks and that I didn’t want my face to appear in any of his videos. Sometimes I help him record or edit videos but that’s all.
“He and all his friends were okay with pranking each other. My boyfriend got angry every time I said no to being in a video or being set up for a prank.”
Then the OP’s boyfriend decided to overstep her boundaries, big-time.
“Two days ago at night, we were going to buy some things with his friends. Before we went, we had sex and were late to meet up with them.”
“He went down to the car while I finished dressing. I couldn’t find my panties, so I just put on my jeans.”
“We arrived at the place and his friends were already there. Everything was going normally until we reached a hallway.”
“My boyfriend and one of his friends grabbed my back pockets and pulled them pretty hard and tore my jeans completely down the back, revealing my butt.”
“When my boyfriend realized I wasn’t wearing panties, he started yelling at me and then proceeded to give me his sweater.”
“When we got to his house, I had to call my brother to bring me some clothes.”
The OP decided that was the end of it.
“I told him we were breaking up and then I left with my brother.”
“Today, he came to my house to talk and started calling me exaggerated and said that it was my fault for not wearing panties.”
“In fact, he said that he is the one who should be angry because thanks to the fact that I was not wearing panties, his friends saw my butt.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that she was doing the right thing by walking away.
“Coming from my adult male perspective… ripping anyone’s jeans in public is not funny, but especially your significant other’s jeans.”
“It shows disregard for concern, lack of respect, and childish behavior. It shows he is more interested in seeking validation or attention or money from others, and less about honoring his relationship with you.”
“Find a better guy. They do exist. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson for the next gal. Hopefully.” – Not-Woke-Bloke
“Seriously, ‘Don’t literally rip my clothes off my body without my consent, in public, and then blame me for people seeing me naked’ is a VERY low bar. Most men won’t do that.” – lydocia
“NTA.”
“Firstly you asked him to not include you in pranks and he ignored that. This means he isn’t respectful of your boundaries or even as a person, he doesn’t respect you.”
“Secondly, something that embarrassed you was NOT about him yet he made it about himself. Main character syndrome much? You weren’t wearing panties and his problem was that his friend saw you without panties when he didn’t notice after sex that your panties were missing.”
“Him blaming you for everything shows lack of accountability on his part.”
“Add to that, people who prank are incredibly immature. Leaving everything aside, even if the prank had gone well and you were wearing panties it would have been disrespecting your boundaries and would honestly still be bad. And not to exclude the ruination of a perfectly normal pair of jeans. What a waste!” – PeaStreet6542
“Tell me if it’s true: Deep down, he knows that it’s his fault, but his ego won’t let him take accountability. I just can’t believe people really think it’s the other person’s fault for something they did to hurt the other person. People aren’t that dumb, or are they?” – climentine
Others agreed and urged the OP to express her lack of consent at a video being posted.
“In addition to breaking up with him, OP, please send him a text in writing that you do not consent to the video (I would assume he took a video of the ‘prank’) and it will be considered as sexual harassment and invasion of privacy to post it.” – EvilxBunny
“The only reason he’s upset is because you ruined the ‘mood,’ and all his arguments of why you’re wrong have to do with his perspective. He doesn’t respect your body or autonomy, and you ‘killed the vibe.’ There shouldn’t have been a vibe without your consent, but he feels entitled to it.”
“The fact that he’s angry that his friends saw your butt is the very apex of this. It is your butt. It’s your decision to be angry that anyone saw it, not his. He doesn’t get a say in whether that’s good or bad because it is not his body to be offended about.”
“He also doesn’t get a say in whether or not that video ever sees the light of day. Dirtbag.” – Elegant_Position9370
“Call the police if you see that video anywhere online. He already assaulted you. You did not consent to any of this.” – False-Pie8581
“I would pretend to make up, offer to edit videos, then go through the recordings to delete anything of you before leaving.”
“(If you want to take legal action, send the ones involving outright assault to your email and then delete them from his computer.)”
“You’re not an AH for breaking up with him. You are an AH for taking part in anything that humiliated others. If he is willing to do this, he probably has recordings of you. Look for any videos he may have recorded of you in secret, like you changing your clothes or you two in intimacy.”
“That should be a much bigger worry for you, OP. Take care of yourself.” – sliding_doors_
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update in another post.
“My boyfriend came to talk to me today after getting off work. I didn’t want to talk to him but he insisted so I let him talk.”
“He apologized to me. He said he didn’t want to throw away our five years of relationship for something really stupid and not worth it (he meant making pranks and posting them on TikTok).”
“He said that he knows that his behavior has changed too much in the last year and a half and that he really regrets it.”
“He said that he wanted to be with me and that he was even going to ask me to marry him for our anniversary (which is in June) and that he already had the ring since December.”
“He said he grabbed my panties and hid them for himself (he would make fun of me, saying something like, ‘Look what I just found,’ and then he would use them to do indecent things with them).”
“He said the prank was not planned and that my boyfriend’s friends convinced him about five minutes before to do it. He forgot that he hid my panties and that’s why he reacted by yelling at me. When he came to my house blaming me, he said it was because he was embarrassed and desperate about how I would react.”
“He asked me for another chance, and he also said he would stop joking completely. Furthermore, he said that if necessary, he would distance himself from his friends.”
“But I really don’t know what to do. I asked him for time to think about it but I really don’t know.
I really love him, but he exceeded the limits I set for him regarding pranks and he let himself be convinced by his friends.”
Despite the apology, the OP’s fellow Redditors encouraged her to leave the relationship behind.
“Please don’t take him back. The prank wasn’t even the worst of what he did, it was the way he reacted after. He didn’t spare one thought to what you might have been going through.”
“Instead, he got angry at you and tried to blame you for everything. That tactic didn’t work, so now he’s pivoted to try to get you back using bulls**t excuses.”
“You’ve been together five years, so it’s hard to let that go. But do you really want to waste any more time with this type of guy? You deserve better. You deserve a man who respects you.” – Plastic_Concert_4916
“Don’t fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy. You have been together for five years. Those five years are gone. Nothing you can do to get them back.”
“What would be unfortunate is if you continue to invest time in a relationship where your partner has shown how little regard he has for you. That is NOT a statement about you. His lack of concern and regard for you is about him and his s**tty friends.”
“A decent man would have jumped to protect you and kicked his friends to the curb immediately. You deserve better. We can see that. I hope you can see it, too. Good luck.” – MaximusSarc
“He’s straight-up lying; ain’t no friend pushing for that kind of prank on your girlfriend. That was 100% his idea; he’s just saying otherwise now because he didn’t expect you to leave.”
“He hoped you’d be embarrassed, ashamed, and apologize to him, not leave. So now he’s changing the narrative and trying to make it not his fault.”
“And OP, I’m sure him hiding your underwear before this prank was planned, as well. All of this was 100% intentional.”
This is a s**tty, manipulative, abusive turd of a man who does not deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone date you or prank-propose to you.” – TwoBioNickNees
“Gawd, his excuse for acting like an a**hole is because he was embarrassed?!? Awww, poor baby! What’s he gonna do the next time he’s embarrassed? Scream and blame OP for his bulls**t again?”
“OP, it isn’t the good times when people show you who they really are, it’s the bad times. And at the teeny, tiniest adversity, he raged at you and blamed you for something that was 100% his fault.”
“He has shown you who he really is. Believe him. You already invested five years of your life with this loser, don’t waste anymore.”
“Also, I’m sorry to say, and this is NOT a reflection on you at all, but given his track record, I’d bet that ‘ring’ would be yet another one of his hilarious pranks for internet clout. Not because you’re not worth proposing to, the right man would after five years, but because someone like him would think it would be ‘hilarious’ and because he’d respect the prank more than you.” – PrideOfCapetown
“No one held a gun to his head and made him pull a prank on you, especially one like that. Do not let him pass blame to his friends.”
“If his first reaction to the victim of a prank gone wrong is to yell at them, then you should not be with him. What he did was essentially assault.”
“Only give him enough of your time to get your undergarments back (if you want them back) and anything of yours he might have.”
“Let him do better for the next girl. Or maybe he’ll find one who loves pranks like that too.” – enpowera
The subReddit was appalled that the OP’s boyfriend stomped so hard on her boundaries and then insisted that she was in the wrong for not being properly prepared to be pranked.
The ex-boyfriend clearly thought that he could set his girlfriend up for a prank and then talk her into staying with him by convincing her to take the blame, which is often how abusive relationships begin.
Fortunately for the OP, she didn’t take the bait and can now move on to healthier relationships.