All of us at one point had a hope or dream of what we wanted to be when we grew up.
While that dream might fade away for some, others will never let go of that dream, and actively pursue it, sometimes against the odds.
Even when their friends or family members might urge them to explore other options, these same resilient people never give up the fight to achieve their dreams.
Even though these dreams don’t come true for everyone.
Redditor Mean-Emphasis9495 wanted to be supportive of his girlfriend’s professional ambitions.
Unfortunately, her pursuits eventually began to take a financial toll on the original poster (OP).
Eventually, the OP finally confronted his girlfriend about maybe finding another source of income.
A suggestion the OP’s girlfriend did not take kindly too at all, resulting in some choice words coming from both of them.
Having some doubts about how they handled the situation, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend she needs to get a real job and she will never be a famous comedian?”
The OP explained why he found himself at odds with his girlfriend after confronting her about her career:
“31 M[ale] and my girlfriend is 28.”
“Her and I have been together for 6 years and have been living together for the last 2.”
“GF has always enjoyed doing comedy and has done open mic nights since we’ve met shortly after college.”
“She had a real sales job though that was her Monday-Friday 9-5 job where she made decent money.”
“I have a good but hard job and make almost triple what my gf was making when she had her job.”
“I said had because last August she quit her job because it was taking away from her comedy ventures.”
“She told me a year from now she thinks she can really make it.”
“I was a bit skeptical but since I make enough to support us, I encouraged her because I want to be a supportive boyfriend.”
“Since she quit her job, she began doing Uber and DoorDash, which is where she makes 100% of her money.”
“Her comedy has gotten us zero dollars.”
“Over the past few months I have started to resent her though.”
“She constantly complains she has no money, yet drives for Uber or DD maybe 3 times a week for maybe 4 hours at a time.”
“I have been paying a lot more for household expenses and I’m not saving as much as I’d like to anymore.”
“She sleeps til noon because sometimes her open mics run real late before she even gets to perform.”
“And when she gets up she just bums around on tiktok and YouTube looking for ‘inspiration’.”
“She also gets very moody with me if I don’t come to 90% of her open mic performances.”
“Even after working a 14 hour day she will get mad if I don’t go to her open mic at 11 PM on a Tuesday.”
“Last night, I did the unthinkable.”
“I asked her to consider going back to a full time job.”
“I said she should still do her comedy but I’m struggling with taking care of our expenses all by myself.”
“When she gave a dismissive answer, I told her firmly that she will never be a famous comedian.”
“I said she’s 28 and it’s time to grow the f**k up and join the real world because this is totally unfair to me that I bust my a** while she lives in La La land.”
“And that she can’t be this naive at this age by thinking she’s going to support herself with this.”
“She stared at me in silence for a few minutes, started crying and went to stay with a friend.”
“She called me a f*cking dickhead a**hole, and I’m the worst friend ever.”
“She has not answered her phone today yet.”
“So am I a f*cking dickhead a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for telling his girlfriend she needed to get a job.
Many agreed that the OP had the right to be annoyed by being their sole breadwinner and his girlfriend needed a reality check, even if some felt he could have handled things with a bit more delicacy:
“As a girl who took care of her boyfriend in the almost same scenario, but let it carry on for way way wayyyyyyyy too long, you are NTA.”
“It is not your job to take care of both you and another human you did not birth, and it is not your job to cater to emotions because in the end, who’s catering to yours here?”
“Care about yourself.”
“You can love her, but she can love you too by being able to take care of herself while still exploring her passions.”- ballzmcgee21
“NTA.”
“Hey- you should have had these conversations before you exploded, but she’s being wildly entitled.”
“Look.”
“I wanted to be a florist.”
“I was great at it, and I had a business that flourished (lol).”
“I was booking like crazy.”
“But- I had too much business than I could support.”
“I literally couldn’t take the jobs that would pay out the most.”
“Couldn’t afford staff.”
“So I wasn’t making money.”
“At all.”
“I was 26.”
“We were saving for a house.”
“We wanted to have kids soon.”
“I wanted a non-stressed partner and stability more than I wanted that particular dream.”
“So I went back to a 9-5.”
“No regrets.”
“Here’s the thing: would she be so committed if she was single?”
“Would she happily rent a single room, living on ramen, if it meant she could do her gigs?”
“Or is it only when she’s got you covering her that she wants to go for this?”
“Because something tells me, if her reality was the single rented room and ramen, she’d be going back to work and seeing comedy as a hobby.”- Ladyughsalot1
“NTA.”
“The reality is people are flawed.”
“You are frustrated taking care of a grown a** adult who is content freeloading off you while she sleeps til noon and barely works part time.”
“So your anger boiled over and you said some harsh things.”
“If she wants to be a comedian she can work a full time job and make her dream a side gig.”
“Just like she would have to do if she had to pay her own big girl bills.”
“It’s been almost year.”
“Time to grow up pay them bills.”
“For me it’s not even an ultimatum.”
“My partner would have to get a job that pays bills and 1/2 the rent or we would be done.”-Unicornfarts68
“NTA, you’re right.”
“She’s 28 and has made no money off her comedy – that’s enough of a wake up call to let you know you’re not funny lol.”
“I love the comedy industry, go to shows often, etc. so I watch people flop often.”
“That being said, you’re right. She needed a wake-up call, and I believe in tough love.”
“Honestly if she wants to fail let her, but don’t do it on your dime.”- Strange-Courage
“NTA!”
“So you go off on her one time, and people crucify you for that, but they don’t take into account the years of support.”
“You are a lot nicer than I am because I would have already left her by now to be honest.”
“She needs to grow up, get a job and she can pursue that in her downtime if she wants.”
“The fact that people expect others to treat bums with any sort of respect when they are mooching off of your kindness is ridiculous.”
“I’ll get downvoted, but it seems that every time I see a post about a couple that has someone that is a bum, not pulling their fair share, and the other hits a boiling point and goes off its the end of the world lol.”
“‘Oh, but YTA because your words hurt her.’ Give me a break!”
“She literally lives in la la land, as OP said.”
“For years she had made 0 dollars…exactly how can she claim she’s close to making it?”
“When she makes 1 dollar?”
“‘Even after working a 14-hour day, she will get mad if I don’t go to her open mic at 11 PM on a Tuesday’.”
“Yea and YTA because of ‘words’ but she expects you to not only work 14 hour days but go at night to her comedy routine that makes no money when you gotta get up the next day a support both of them?”
“What planet are these people living in?”- Kod4ever
There were a few, however, who had trouble sympathizing with either the OP or his girlfriend, feeling the OP was much too harsh but that it was unfair of his girlfriend to mooch off of him.
“ESH, mostly her.”
“Yes, she is clearly not putting in her fair share with work and bills and your frustration over having to handle most of the expenses while she pursues her comedy ventures is justified.”
“But you really lost steam towards the end.”
“While I realize you make some good points that message got warped when you completely blew up and demeaned her.”- applebum8807
No one should live their life according to what other people say; it is their right to pursue their dreams.
That being said, people also need to live, and if stand-up comedy isn’t making the OP’s girlfriend enough money, she will need to figure out a way.
Another harsh discovery she might make during some time apart from the OP.