“The customer is always right.”
A common, if somewhat dangerous, adage.
Some customers might stretch that age-old saying to its limits, letting their entitlement get the better of them, finding almost ludicrous ways to justify their entitlement, and making outrageous demands.
That being said, paying customers deserve their most basic expectations to be met, as they should, by all means, get what they pay for.
Redditor CreativeNecessary161 hoped to use the skills and talents of a friend of hers to commemorate her recent wedding.
This friend was more than happy to oblige the original poster (OP)’s request for an agreed upon price.
However, when the OP’s friend showed them her creation, the OP was not pleased.
So much so that she even refused to pay her friend.
Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to pay for a wedding portrait because my friend sexualized me in it.”
The OP explained why she refused to pay her friend for a service she requested of her:
“My friend is a painter. I have seen her work, and it is beautiful.”
“I asked if she was willing to paint a portrait of me and my husband in our wedding outfits.”
“I thought it would be a good one-year anniversary gift.”
“I have seen her work, and she can do realist paintings of people.”
“She asked for a reference for this, and I gave her a few pictures and a 300 deposit.”
“In total, we agreed on a total of 700 dollars.”
“She showed me the painting yesterday. My husband looked great, but I looked completely different.”
“In short, she sexualized me, and I find it so gross.”
“The painting has me with huge boobs (I don’t really have any, I’m an A cup due to running).”
“My wedding dress is showing much more skin.”
“She even added a split to my dress to show off more leg.”
“I don’t look like that in any of the photos I gave her. I find it really gross.”
“I told her I would not be paying her, that she needed to fix it, or she could keep it.”
“This caused a huge argument.”
“She thinks I am a jerk for not paying, and I am pointing out the stuff above.”
“It is going around with my friends; some think I am being petty, and others are standing by me.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to pay her friend.
Just about everyone agreed that the OP’s friend did not deliver the service she agreed to, justifying the OP’s decision to withhold payment, with some saying the OP should only do so if her friend fixes the painting:
“NTA.”
“Coming from someone who paints commissions from time to time, I always stick to the request of the client.”
“Part of her job is listening to the client’s response and adjusting her painting accordingly.”
“It makes no sense for her to get paid for a job poorly done.”
“This was not a favor from her. You are paying her to do a job which she did not do and is continuing to refuse to do.”
“I’d take the deposit as a loss and stand your ground.”- Alright_youre_done
“NTA.”
“You asked for a realistic portrait and didn’t get what you asked for.”
“Deposit might not be refundable, but keep the remainder.”
“Why would she do that?”
“It makes no sense whatsoever to drastically change what you look like, especially in your wedding dress.”- IAmTAAlways
“I’d give her two choices if she wants to be paid:”
“1. Fix the weird sexualization bullsh*t on the bride part of the painting and match the reference photos given”
“or:”
“2. Fix the groom side of the painting to also weirdly sexualize him (open shirt showing muscled chest, maybe enhance that bulge).”
“I personally would find option two hilarious and would put that up on my game room wall.”
“But NTA – you’ve probably lost the $300 and the friend if this is their hill to die on.”
“You are getting some interesting data on your other friends, too.”- SnarkyBeanBroth
“NTA.”
“As an artist myself, I check in about those kinds of modifications along the way to make sure the client is happy with the progress – deposits are usually non-refundable to cover time and materials but the rest?”
“Keep it unless she fixes it.”
“She sounds like she got ahead of herself, making you look ‘sexier’ in her eyes, which is in itself a whole thing (make of that what you will, but giving her the benefit of the doubt, emphasizing beauty is part of what we do as artists) and is doubling down on her own vision as compared to yours.”
“As a commission, that’s not the way to go at all!”
“Plus, her pride is damaging to your relationship.”
“I hope she can put her ego aside to give you what you actually want – the only thing difficult about changing a painting is letting go of the attachment to what you’ve already created – which is a beautiful act of impermanence to actually do!”
“Also, matching colors can be challenging, but there are ways of making it seamless.”- dreamscape-waking
“NTA, the portrait is supposed to look like you.”
“She has chosen to paint a version of you that doesn’t represent the real you, and you are allowed to be upset with her interpretation.”
“Did your husband also get ‘endowed’?”
“If she’s refusing to change it, I think you’re within your right to refuse to finish paying for it.”- snchills
“NTA.”
“It was commissioned work, and you gave clear instructions on what you wanted, but she didn’t deliver what was requested.”
“You asked her to correct the shortcomings, and she (apparently) is not willing to do that.”
“Stick to your guns, and don’t pay for something that is not what you agreed on.”- brit953
“NTA.”
“I once had a girl that insisted she draw our D&D characters, and she drew mine with one nipple out, like that’s how my character walked around?”
“We had a strict no sexual boundary crossing rule for that game, and it was so out of left field.”
“I wouldn’t take the drawing.”
“I know it was just my character and not me, but I felt incredibly violated.”- FizbansHat
“NTA.”
“You gave her pictures, and set expectations.”
“She oddly sexualized you.”
“She should give the deposit back.”- Schafer_Isaac
“NTA.”
“She was hired to paint a picture of you and your husband.”
“You gave her the pictures you wanted for reference, and she decided not to use them and to take some poetic license.”
“She needs to fix the painting or give you the money back.”
“Her choice.”- SnooBunnies7461
“NTA.”
“Unless you asked for her to change your body proportions, there’s no reasonable excuse for her to do so.”
“And yeah, doing so in that way, as well as changing the dress to be more revealing, is gross.”- PrimeMarvel
“NTA.”
“Keep asking ‘WHO IS THAT!?’ in a progressively annoying manner till she fixes it.”- Subjective_Box
“NTA.”
“She took liberties that weren’t discussed and didn’t give you what you asked for.”- NorthYorkCentre
“NTA.”
“You are hiring her for her service.”
“You are unsatisfied with the final product, so you have asked her to make amendments.”
“What you are asking is fair, and she is being unprofessional by taking ‘creative freedom’ with a commissioning and complaining that you are being a jerk.”- Adept-Cod1821
“I would not pay $700 for a painting I would not hang on my wall!”
“NTA.”
“Did you ask who the woman was she painted with your husband?”
“Or if it was supposed to be a caricature?”- QL58
“Ordered a painting of myself, and I get Jessica Rabbit. I’m probably not gonna pay.”
“NTA.”- Aliteracy
“NTA.”
“You gave her pictures FFS.”- Lonely-Clerk-2478
“NTA.”
“You asked for realistic painting.”
“She did breach contract.”- Kautsu-Gamer
“NTA, and as an artist, that’s very disgusting.”
“She’s basically saying you’ll never be good enough to appear in her art (or worse, next to your own husband!) and she needs to ‘better’ your appearance to even begin thinking of it.”
“It’s gross.”- Suraimu-desu
“NTA.”
“I do a lot of drawings of humans, male and female and otherwise.”
“All genders err on the side of sexy to fantastical in some way when I draw for fun.”
“When I’m drawing something FOR someone, I only do that if that’s what they want.”
“Otherwise I stick to the instructions and/or references I am given.”
“I would not ever do this to someone’s wedding portraits without being expressly asked to do so.”-
It’s hard to understand the thought process of the OP’s friend, as she was given pictures as a reference to follow.
And the OP arguably did hold up her part of the deal, by giving a deposit (which she did not ask to be returned), and would only agree to pay the remainder when the finished product was delivered.
So, if the OP’s friend wants the rest of her money, all she needs to do is adjust the painting to what the OP initially wanted.
The ball is in her court…