When most people receive good or exciting news, they usually can’t wait to share it with others.
However, for many reasons within and beyond their control, sometimes they are forced to sit on this news before they can share it with anyone.
Including their nearest and dearest, as not everyone is as good at keeping a secret as they may claim.
And hearing the news through the grapevine or in less-than-ideal circumstances can often make the news sound a bit less good than it actually was.
Redditor Own_Cod_7746 was keeping a lid on some good news in her life, as she wanted to make sure she shared it at the absolute right moment.
Unfortunately for the original poster (OP), her good news ended up being revealed much earlier than she would have liked.
Equally unfortunate was that a friend of the OP’s felt that her thunder had been stolen owing to the manner in which the OP’s good news was shared.
Wondering if she had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for announcing my pregnancy at my friend’s bridal shower?”
The OP explained why their friend wasn’t exactly thrilled with the OP sharing a happy change in her life:
“I, 31F[emale], am a bridesmaid for my friend Abby, 32 F.”
“Abby and I are high school (HS) friends, and while we’ve drifted, I was honored to be a bridesmaid.”
“She asked some of our other hs friends, some of which I have seen since college in person.”
“I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago, but I didn’t want to announce it, as I announced my pregnancy last year to family and friends and then had a miscarriage.”
“I was quite surprised I was pregnant again so soon, but me and my boyfriend were happy and we decided to wait until I was further along to announce to be in the safe side.”
“At Abby’s bridal shower, her mother-in-law (MOH) got us to play a drinking game.”
“I opted out of drinking obviously, and settled on water and said I had to be up early tomorrow so I couldn’t drink.”
“I thought it was fine, until halfway through my HS friend Jane was quite tipsy and offered me a shot, and I said no I really can’t.”
“She pestered me, and said that she would personally wake me up early tomorrow so it would be fine, but I insisted no.”
“She then asked if I was pregnant and I got flustered and said no, but she caught me and said I was a bad liar.”
“She was quite loud and congratulated me and told everyone I was pregnant.’
“I felt really uncomfortable, as I didn’t want to disclose this, and it was Abby’s day not mine.”
“Everyone congratulated me there and I brushed it off, thinking people were quite tipsy so they’d probably not even remember tomorrow morning.”
“I wasn’t having that much fun as everyone else was drinking, so I opted to leave first and thought it was all fine.”
“I got a text today, two days later from Abby saying she was upset that I announced my pregnancy at her bridal shower.”
“I apologized on text and said I didn’t mean for it to come out, but that Jane had announced it.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for sharing that she was pregnant at Abby’s bridal shower.
Everyone agreed that the OP did not “announce” her pregnancy at Abby’s bridal shower, but was rather bullied into sharing the news by Jane, with some even wondering if it’s even worth it for the OP to remain Abby’s bridesmaid after her behavior:
“NTA but Jane is.”
“You should have been able to turn down alcohol without getting the third degree.”- rosezoeybear
“NTA because you didn’t announce it.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.’
“Make sure that’s clear.”
“WHY ON EARTH would you take responsibility for someone else’s mistake?”
“‘Hi Abby, I understand you’re upset and I don’t blame you’.”
“‘But you seem to not understand exactly what happened’.”
“‘I did not in ANY way “announce” my pregnancy at your shower’.”
“‘I would never do that’.”
“‘Jane kept pressuring me to drink alcohol, even after I declined over and over’.”
“‘I obviously couldn’t drink but I didn’t want to let her know why’.”
“‘But she didn’t stop, and when she finally asked me POINT BLANK if I was pregnant, I even told her “No”‘.”
“‘I said no specifically because I didn’t think it would be appropriate to discuss my pregnancy at your shower’.”
“‘With anyone’.”
“‘Hubby and I agreed to wait longer anyway, due to our previous miscarriage’.”
“‘Jane, unfortunately in her tipsy state, decided ON HER OWN in that moment to loudly call me a bad liar and announce to everyone in earshot that I was pregnant’.”
“‘She announced it’.”
“‘I did not do that’.”
“‘I was horrified’.”
“‘I had nothing to do with it, I didn’t want it, and it made me incredibly uncomfortable’.”
“‘I don’t blame you for being upset about this, I also would have been upset!'”
“‘It was totally out of line’.”
“‘But please know that I didn’t announce anything and didn’t tell anyone that I was pregnant’.”
“‘Jane, tipsy or not, embarrassed me, ruined my opportunity to announce my pregnancy to my friends at a later date as I had originally planned, and managed to upset you at your shower at the same time’.”
“‘II’m personally upset with her’.”
“‘You had this happen at your shower, and now I don’t get to announce to my friends in a few weeks like I wanted’.”
“‘I hope you will not try to hold me responsible for actions that Jane took on her own’.”
“‘Again, I’m so sorry that this happened, it was never what I wanted and I am also upset about how it all went down’.”- T00narmy1
“NTA because you didnt mean for it to come out.”
“Jane is TA because she shouldnt have announced news that wasn’t hers to share.”
“Who does that?”
“Obviously OP didnt want to share that news with everyone or she would’ve made the announcement herself.”
“Also I hate when people pressure others to drink.”
“What if someone was a recovering alcoholic, or struggled with their relationship with alcohol, or just didn’t like it?”
“Peer pressuring someone to drink like its high school is lame on her part.”- CatDependent4280
“NTA.”
“You didn’t announce it, you just weren’t successful at hiding it.”
“You can’t control that Jane guessed you were pregnant.”
“It doesn’t sound like Abby had the time/ability at the shower to understand exactly what happened, so I can understand how she was lead to the wrong impression that you’d intentionally told someone about your pregnancy.”
“From the information she had, she’s perfectly valid for voicing she was upset.”
“Jane is kind of an AH for outing you though.”
“You were obviously trying to hide your pregnancy, so it’d be easy to guess that you don’t want that information shared and she immediately shouted it.”
“I know alcohol can make people forget how to socialize properly or completely lose the ability to read a room and I’m sure she just had good intentions that she was excited for you, but that’s still a major f*ck up on her part.”
“I think a way it could’ve maybe been avoided would’ve been to tell Abby before hand that you won’t/can’t be drinking at the shower so she or the MOH could’ve planned to discreetly intervene with people pressuring you to drink.”- SupermarketNeat4033
“NTA.”
“You didn’t announce it.”
“Jane outed you.”
“You do need to learn to ‘f*ck politeness’.”
“You should have told Jane that you didn’t want a damn drink and to leave you the hell alone.”
“Text Jane and tell her she needs to learn how to mind her own business because she ruined the shower for you and the bride.”- keesouth
“NTA.”
“You didn’t announce anything and Jane is the one who should apologize.”- Dizzy-Potato3557
“You didn’t announce anything.”
“You are NTA.”- ahknewb
“NTA.”
“You didn’t announce it…Jane did.”
“Jane is the one that needs to apologize.”
“Fill Abby in on what happened, and let her know Jane backed you into a corner.”
“Tell her you had no intention of your news getting out and taking attention away from her shower.”- Photomama16
It’s a shame that Jane didn’t respect the OP’s privacy, and equally sad that Abby felt the need to throw blame at the OP.
As even without knowing the details, it must have been difficult for her not to notice that Jane was egging the OP on, against her will at that.
Hopefully, Abby has accepted the OP’s apology.
Otherwise, she may very likely find herself down a bridesmaid…