We all have moments where we struggle to prioritize, especially when we are doing something like completing a series of work tasks or organizing items into a new space.
Most of us can fairly say that we wouldn’t struggle to prioritize irreplaceable family heirlooms with a weekend vacation, though, side-eyed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor KukaBum became suspicious of what her boyfriend was up to when she started to notice unexplainable transactions in their shared bank account.
After doing some digging, she discovered that he had been stealing her family heirlooms, selling them, and then withdrawing the money from their bank account.
When he attempted to argue that she shouldn’t be mad because he was using the money to surprise her with a vacation, the Original Poster (OP) knew immediately that the relationship was doomed.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for demanding my boyfriend move out after discovering he secretly sold my family, heirloom jewelry to fund a surprise vacation?”
The OP’s boyfriend planned a surprise vacation for her, but for an extreme cost.
“I (30 Female) recently found out that my boyfriend (32 Male) secretly sold several pieces of jewelry I inherited from my deceased relatives to pay for a surprise vacation.”
“I only discovered this when I noticed unexplained bank withdrawals and traced them back to the sale of my jewelry.”
“When I confronted him, he admitted he sold the jewelry to fund the vacation, saying he didn’t realize how much it meant to me. He claimed he thought I’d appreciate the trip more than the jewelry.”
The OP realized this was an immediate, irreparable dealbreaker for her.
“I was devastated and felt completely betrayed.”
“I told him he had to move out because I couldn’t stay with someone who would disrespect my personal belongings and trust like that.”
“He’s now furious, accusing me of being ungrateful and focusing on the wrong thing.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the only reasonable solution was to contact the police.
“Your boyfriend stole from you. I’d kick him out and make him track down the jewelry to get it back.”
“NTA.” – Nearby-Carpenter-919
“REPORT THEM STOLEN. Then make him tell you where they were sold, and tell him you’re reporting him to the cops otherwise (report him anyway, first).”
“Get the information from him. Demand to look through his phone and email accounts NOW, or you will call the cops to report the theft. This may help you figure out who he sold them to and how to get them back.”
“But REPORT THEM STOLEN. Sure, he might go to jail. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STEAL THINGS. And did you notice that the stolen jewelry covered the cost of your tickets AND his?”
“He stole them and sold them to buy himself a vacation but bought tickets for you, too, so he could convince you that it was a vacation ‘for you.'” – maroongrad
“Police will get it out of him. Depending on what the jewelry was worth, it may not be a simple, taken in, and released scenario. Depending on who would bail him out and what bail is, if he has to sit in a cell, he’ll cooperate on trying to recover the property for a break.”
“Sadly, someone I knew fell hard into drugs and did this to her mother. The property value was pretty high, and she was looking at a felony. In cooperating, she did get less time.”
“A surprise vacation is not a gift for you if it was funded off of stealing from you.” – Alycion
“Even if you’re feeling a little hopeless right now, don’t assume that you have no chance of getting your heirlooms back.”
“You don’t know that. Report them stolen to the police. It is illegal to receive stolen property. Your boyfriend would have to disclose to whom he sold or pawned the jewelry, and it can be recovered. By the police. It will take time, but the sooner you do it, the better your chance of recovery will be.”
“This is not a smash-and-grab where you have no idea where the jewelry disappeared. There is a clear chain of evidence of where the jewelry had been taken. But you need to report it.”
“Do you want them back? Act now if you do.” – kmflushing
“It’s not in the past. The police will handle this. I doubt this is the only thing he has stolen from you. It’s just the biggest.”
“Once you report them stolen, you’ll have a better chance of getting them back. They’ll notify every pawn shop around. They’ll go through his phone. Sue the f**k out of this dude!!!”
“Don’t back down. They’re irreplaceable. He’s not.” – TheLoneliestGhost
“REPORT THE THEFT TO THE POLICE!!”
“Honestly OP, it’s not hard to go to the police station with photos of your stolen jewelry, with appraised value from a jeweler along with insurance that pays then let the POLICE DEAL WITH IT.”
“Most of all, have that AH boyfriend arrested.”
“If any of the buyers realize that they purchased stolen goods, then they’re in trouble.” – lovemyfurryfam
Others recommended that the OP do more to protect her credit.
“Check your credit report and make sure he has not opened anything in your name. If he has access to your jewelry to steal it, he could have accessed enough of your personal information to defraud you as well.” – AS_it_is_now
“Put a freeze on your credit. It’s free. You can contact any one of the three main credit bureaus, and they’re legally required to contact the other two. Do this even if you think he doesn’t have access to your credit. Then go over everything and report anything that’s suspicious.” – therapy_works
“Do not meet him face-to-face. Do not meet with him alone. If he tries to approach you in public, call the cops. If you have to communicate with him, do so via text or, even better, a lawyer.”
“This might be his third strike if he has a history of those crimes, and you never know what he might do, as he already has proven. Be safe.” – IftaneBenGenerit
“This is serious, and you definitely need to file a report on the thief. I can’t even wrap my brain around why he thought this was appropriate.”
“He definitely crossed the boundary line with no return date because this isn’t reversible. And he has the balls to be mad at you for being ungrateful that he stole from you just to take you on a janky weekend vacation.”
“Don’t ever accept him back in your life as he can’t be trusted.” – OkieLady1952
“He’s deflecting, trying to distract you. Good on you for moving him right outta there. He stole from you, irreplaceable, precious things.”
“Make a police report and don’t let him spin this s**t to your guys’ shared friends and family. What the actual f**k? This discomfort you feel is because you’ve been directly wronged.”
“Perhaps you can work something out where he pays you back, but right now, protect yourself, change your locks, and press charges.”
“Think about how you’d react if one of your friends told you this happened to her. You’d be outraged, right..? Show yourself the same respect.” – Devigrrl
“I’m willing to bet the ‘surprise vacation’ either doesn’t exist or is a fraction of what he sold your jewelry for and he used the rest for something else.”
“In any case, this guy is a thief and can’t be trusted. Tell the police you want them to press charges, and never let this guy near you again.” – LottaCheek
“Holy s**t! You should report him for theft. If you do you may be able to get your heirlooms back.”
“Talk about someone ‘focusing on the wrong thing.’ You let him skate on a felony. I would go to the police tomorrow.” – Content_Print_6521
Soon after, the OP shared an update, including filing a report with the police and more.
“I contacted the police and filed a report. They said I needed to have photo evidence of the jewelry, which I thought was weird. I don’t have pictures of them except when they were on my late family members. Hopefully that will be enough.”
“A detective called me and told me my boyfriend has a criminal record of theft and fraud. Not your average fraud, either; he told me he has priors from bank frauds and mortgage frauds.”
“This is completely shocking to me as he appeared as normal as can be.”
“I said I wanted to file a restraining order, but since he’s not a violent offender, they said it’s tricky. Also, I would probably never be able to get my jewelry back without contact with him.”
“I’m still in contact with him, trying to find the places he sold my jewelry, but he refuses to answer me and tells me to let it blow over and to relax.”
“I asked him where he brought them to, and he said, ‘It’s in the past, let’s move on from this.’ I’m truly p**sed.”
“He just said, ‘I don’t think your great-great-grandmother would care this much.’ I’m appalled that even would say that to me.”
“He also said, ‘You’ve had them for so long and never even look at them.’ I don’t get why he thinks that would change anything.”
“I think [the jewelry] is lost forever, unfortunately.”
The subReddit was furious on the OP’s behalf that her family heirlooms were sacrificed for a vacation she may have not even wanted, and possibly more nefarious things.
With the OP’s updates, speaking to the police, and trying to get the truth out of her ex-boyfriend, hopefully, she will get the answers she needs to track down some of her family heirlooms and bring them safely home while her ex learns that actions have consequences.