Cosplayers are highly creative and resourceful individuals who can work magic with what they’re given for a fun transformation.
A woman and her girlfriend are avid cosplayers and she was inspired to come up with the perfect characters to portray for a future convention.
But the item she stumbled upon at a charity shop became a major point of contention with a third person involved.
She visited the “Am I A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor ProfessionalRush7272 asked:
“AITA for turning a Wedding Dress into a Cosplay rather than letting my Cousin have it for her wedding?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (27 F[female]) am an avid cosplayer, my girlfriend (28 F[female]) and I go to all conventions we can and have a lot of fun making our costumes together and prepping for the year.”
“Three Months ago I, my girlfriend, and my cousin (30 F[female]) went around charity shops looking for pieces we could turn into cosplays.”
“My cousin isn’t a cosplayer but she tagged along as she likes a good bargain hunt. In the third shop we went to we found in the window an old school wedding dress, it had a few stains and minor rips but all in all was in good condition.”
The OP continued:
“My Girlfriend and I joked with my cousin that she should buy it for her wedding but she turned her nose up at it stating she wanted brand new and she’d not be caught dead in an old fashioned dress.”
“We let it go, and my Girlfriend was the one to point out to me that if we did some alterations, it’d be a perfect dupe for Sarah’s ballgown in Jim Henson’s Labyrinth, which is our favourite movie.”
“I realised she was right and asked her if she wanted to make this our next major matching costume. She agreed for the convention season of 2025 we will be Jareth and Sarah.”
Plans were underway.
“I bought the dress, and my cousin made a few jokes about it, but we heard nothing back from her, not until two days ago. I’ve been posting my dress progress on social media, and it’s finally done. It looks amazing.”
“My cousin told me she’d not found a dress she likes and I’ve done wonders with this dress, that she’d changed her mind and she’d be happy to meet the price I’d paid (£150 [USD 196.47]) and even throw in an extra £100 for my time fixing it up.”
“I laughed and asked if she was joking. She told me she was deadly serious, and I told her that wasn’t happening. This led to a fight and I was getting annoyed, my girlfriend took the phone at this point and told her she had her chance to get the dress, and that it’s a cosplay now not a wedding dress.”
“We’ve since been bombarded by my family trying to get in contact, some pleading, some trying to cajole, and others straight up berating us for not letting my cousin buy the dress or even better yet being a good cousin and gifting it to her, that I shouldn’t turn a charity shop wedding dress into a costume as it stopped brides who really needed it having it.”
The OP shared her current emotional state.
“I’m getting stressed and upset with this, and my girlfriend is currently fielding any calls we get and telling them to stop upsetting me. She’s a wonder, and I am so grateful to have her with me for this.”
“AITA, though? I am starting to worry because of the widespread reaction. This is the first time I’ve bought a wedding dress to convert like this, but it was already damaged, and I’ve brought it back to life. Surely it’s better than it being ignored like it was?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA. She thought the dress was ugly and didn’t want a thrifted dress for her wedding. She didn’t see the dress’s potential. After all your hard work and additional time and money, she realizes she made a mistake, and now she wants a cheaper option for her wedding. Tough.”
“She missed her chance with this dress. At most, I’d offer to go thrifting to find a new 2nd hand dress she can use. Assuming there is still time.” – SuspiciousZombie788
“Your cousin has not changed her mind. She is interested in the dress you made. If you were to undo all of the work on the dress suddenly and offered it to her, she would not want it anymore.”
“Please look at it from that perspective and treat this accordingly. Your cousin wants YOUR work, you said no, she can kick rocks, but instead she’s throwing a tantrum and family members are allowing her… might be time to put them all on mute.” – GabrielleArcha
“Also, she’s greedy and cheap. She’s pushing to get a champagne and caviar dress for the price of a Big Mac.”
“If OP were going to sell it to anyone (and note my emphasis on the word “if”), £250 would absolutely not be an acceptable price. The time, effort, and materials OP has put into cleaning, repairing, and enhancing the dress are worth so much more than that.”
“I’m tempted to suggest that OP cost it out as though they were a professional crafter and point out to the family that it’s actually a £1k+ (or whatever) dress due to the work put into the project…but something tells me they wouldn’t understand or accept the explanation.”
“And at the end of the day, whether the bride is willing to pay a proper price for it or not is irrelevant. She had the opportunity to buy it, and she could have snapped it up as an emergency fallback option. She chose not to.”
“Someone else bought it when she didn’t, and it doesn’t matter who or why. End of story.” – Normal-Height-8577
“She offered you £100 for the work you’ve put into this one, and while you don’t say how much time and skill went into it, I bet that’s nowhere near fair compensation. She’s already let you know she’d be a nightmare to work for. She sounds like kind of a nightmare in general.”
“As for the brides who supposedly missed out on this opportunity because of you, you took a damaged dress that nobody wanted and apparently turned it into something beautiful. (Otherwise, she wouldn’t want it.) That’s something to be commended, not condemned.”
“Frankly, it’s astonishing to me how many families expect people to bend to the will of their most selfish and unpleasant members. I hope you’ve already shut that down.”
“Anybody who thinks she’s owed a free or heavily discounted dress has plenty of time to buy or make her one. I’d suggest they get started.” – AfterSevenYears
“Our cousin missed her chance, and you don’t owe her anything, but if you were planning on going to her wedding, you wouldn’t be wearing the dress that weekend anyway, so maybe you could let her borrow it.”
“But if she insists that she wants it solely as ‘her wedding dress’ and doesn’t want you cosplaying in it, she’s asking too much. Maybe when you’re ready to move on to your next costume, you could gift it to her if you don’t miss it too much, so she has ‘her wedding dress’ in her possession.”
“It sounds like it didn’t look much in the thrift shop, but you’ve done a fantastic job restoring it. I don’t know why so many people have such a hard time apologizing and admitting they were wrong.”
“You seem like a nice person, and if your cousin had just said, ‘OMG, OP, you did an incredible job transforming that dress! You were so right about it, and if I’d realized at the time it could be made to be so beautiful, I would have bought it, although I wouldn’t have been able to do what you did, so I guess it’s just as well that you ended up with it. But wow, I wish I could wear that dress on my wedding day!’ ”
“You might have happily given the dress to her. But instead, she has to go and ruin her chance by acting entitled.” BaitedBreaths
“NTA.”
“You bought it & spent time fixing it up. Plus, she made it clear in pretty strong terms that she didn’t want it.”
‘We’ve since been bombarded by my family trying to get in contact, some pleading, some trying to cajole and others straight up berating us for not letting my cousin buy the dress or even better yet being a good cousin and gifting it to her.’
“They can butt out. What is it with grown adults running to their families & getting them to bully people. As well as expecting to benefit from someone else’s money/work.”
“Your cousin is an entitled, immature A H.” – Apart-Ad-6518
Overall, Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to give in to her cousin’s change of tune about the beautified dress.
They also thought the cousin’s family was out of line to be harassing the OP over the dress that was rightfully hers.