Drafting up a will can be an awkward situation to an already uncomfortable procedure. There are a lot of logistics to figure out, not to mention the emotional impact it will have on loved ones left behind.
One Redditor did not expect the reaction they got when their mother-in-law offered to gift them something that might not be the most coveted asset.
After causing drama, they visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor Positive_Slip9383 asked:
“AITA. MIL gifting us 5 timeshares in her will costing us $9500 annually. We asked her not to do this and she lost it.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My mother-in-law is ‘gifting’ us five timeshares in her will, and the administrative amount will cost us $9500 annually.”
“We are not interested in owning timeshares, nor are we interested in paying that much in admin costs.”
The OP went to get a second opinion on the situation and this was the result.
“We asked an attorney, and he said it is expensive and a hassle to try to get rid of the timeshares, so we politely and respectfully asked MIL not to leave those to us in her will.”
“She absolutely lost it and was extremely upset, saying we were ungrateful and that she was refusing to change her will.”
“We asked if she would be willing to go ahead and transfer the timeshares to someone else before her death, but she refused. AITA?”
“Edited to add: There is a perpetuity clause on these timeshares. She’s not leaving my husband or I any money. She has lots of debt. Only leaving us the timeshares.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA. Unless she is leaving you with enough money to cover the cost of the $9500 in perpetuity, this is in no way meaningful or a gift. Maybe a lawyer from the appropriate jurisdiction can weigh in, but I can’t see how MIL can effectively transfer a debt to another person without their consent.”
“I am always suspicious when people get ‘extremely upset’ in situations like this. She knows this is BS and is upset that she’s being called out on it. I would be curious to find out what else is being gifted and to whom in her will.”
“It feels to me that MIL is trying to pull a fast one. There’s more going on here but OP has no obligation to dig deeper, all they have to do is refuse this ‘gift’ and shut down all future discussions. I’d just wait. Pretty sure the truth will come out at some point, and it won’t be a pretty story.” – borisslovechild
“If she’s dumb enough to buy five timeshares, then she probably thinks they’re a good deal and would be extremely upset since you’re telling her she’s wrong.” – cyberchief
“Yeah. I think she’s been taken advantage of, and someone convinced her this is a good idea. That it was an investment. To be told that her kids don’t want it, and because they’re a liability, makes her face that it was actually a bad idea.”
“She thought she was being smart, and now she’s confronted with someone saying it’s a bad idea. That’s what she’s reacting to.” – Fatigue-error
“That’s like my parents spending $80K on a motor home but then only ever driving it to campgrounds where they still have to pay to stay there. At their age, with only doing it a couple times a year, it’ll never pay for itself.”
“Driving the same distance to a high-end hotel for the same vacation length would be cheaper in the long run, and I wouldn’t have to worry about what to do with the stupid thing once they die.” – TaliesinWI
“I think MIL was duped on the timeshares and she kind of knows it, but wants to think she has something of value. When her kids say they don’t want it, this is confirmation that she made a bad ‘investment.’ “
“You can legally refuse to inherit a timeshare. You can file a disclaimer of interest with the probate court, but you must do so within a certain time limit. If all heirs reject the timeshare, the timeshare company may foreclose on it.” – Physical_Ad5135
“A person does not have to accept anything given to them in a will, be it a house, cash, or anything else. They can simply disclaim the ‘gift.’ They can disclaim all or part of a will. Just don’t tell MIL that you will disclaim it. She doesn’t need to know and will never know.” – pittsburgpam
“Good advice, but they should pad the cost as timeshares are notorious for increasing maintenance fees, fees that have no contractual cap.”
“MIL’s probably been brainwashed to believe that the timeshares are valuable assets. They’re specifically marketed that way, even as something that can be passed down through inheritance. I’m sure that many that fall prey to the scam buy into the lies as a defense mechanism. Now, when ready to pass on, MIL might be reacting badly to the idea of having to accept the fact that she’s been scammed and has been overpaying for something that’s next to worthless for years.”
“OP. NTA.” – disappointedvet
“Yeah, no. My parents were going to do the same.”
“When my father passed away, I knew my mother was never going to use her three weeks a year. I tried to swap them out for closer locations etc… waiting lists for up to 5 years… they were paid off (only the annual fees needed to be paid, around $4.5K for three weeks a year) originally we paid the first three years, only went to one time share week, 22 (round trip) hour drive.”
“Not worth it for us. Tried to have them rent those weeks… who knows if they did. Tried to sell them, no luck. I just let it lapse, stopped paying the annual fees. Ignored all notices.”
“It would have cost us over $15k to cancel through a timeshare cancellation company. NOPE. Time shares are not a gift. They are a true BURDEN.” – Traditional-Bag-4508
“NT,A Talk to your attorney again. In most places even if something is willed to you doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Let MIL know you plan to refuse it or gift it to an organization, preferably one she doesn’t like.” – wlfwrtr
“Time shares are NOT a gift! They are burdensome financially and logistically. You are NTA for Not wanting to be bogged down by these boondoggles. She is wrong for foisting these things on you. If she continues to insist on dumping them on you, perhaps contact one of those companies that help people extricate themselves from timeshares.”
“I hear ads about those services all the time. Perhaps you can preemptively avoid the potential problems if you have an ‘escape’ plan in place. And you are NOT ungrateful for Not wanting to be stuck paying all the administrative costs! Good luck!” – GoatMom1998
“NTA. Do not accept a timeshare! They are such a scam that there’s an entire industry to help people get out of them and THAT industry is also mostly a scam that takes desperate people’s money.”
“Talk to the lawyer and make sure you know how to disclaim them when the time comes. You may have only a limited time to do that. Do NOT get involved with any time shares!!” – Jacob1207a
“NTA. Just because she leaves them to you in her will doesn’t mean you have to accept them. You told her you don’t want them. When she dies, all you need to do is not sign the agreement to transfer them to you.” – Oldpuzzlehead
Just because someone leaves you something in a will doesn’t mean you have to take it. It’s a gift that can be refused, not a mandate.
“That said, she should still try to offload it prior to her death – especially if she is no longer using it – because the disclaimed gift reverts to the estate, and thus, the executioner of the will has to subtract any fees related to selling it from the estate / its residual. And the estate will (in most jurisdictions) be paying the executioner of the will to do so.” – Lux_Brumalis
“NTA – Your MIL should understand that you don’t want to pay those admin fees. $9500 is a lot and could be used for things, like saving for your retirement.”
“Understand that MIL is upset, but maybe try talking with her one more time. If MIL still refuses, I would talk to an attorney about how to refuse the inheritance.” – Texas_Tail
Redditors agreed that the offer was not, by any means, a gift but a burden, and they thought the OP was definitely not “ungrateful,” as the MIL said.
They strongly advised the OP to refuse the so-called gift to avoid dealing with a major headache in the long run.