Hospitals can be a very daunting place.
Unless you work there, nobody really wants to have to be there.
They can cause a great deal of unease, especially if you’re there for a procedure.
Some people like to chat with everybody, and it can calm their nerves.
Others appreciate calm and silence.
These two options often clash.
Redditor Latter_Plant_9364 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not being a Chatty Cathy with my hospital roommate?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (30 F[emale]) had surgery earlier today.”
“I gave birth to a baby six months ago.”
“There were complications which could not have been operated on at the time.”
“So I was the first surgery for the day (the nurses kept mentioning it), and after recovery, I was brought to my observation ward.”
“About an hour or so later, I had a roommate (40ish F) who joined me.”
“I had been watching TV shows on my iPad with the volume on loud.”
“As soon as she arrived, I put my AirPods in as a courtesy to her.”
“Later in the afternoon, my husband brought our baby to come and see me.”
“As soon as they left, my roommate started up a conversation.”
“I was polite and entertained the conversation for about 30 minutes.”
“I apologized for cutting the conversation short but I was going to have a nap.”
“Well, she got all huffy and rude, saying I was selfish.”
“When I woke up from the nap, my roommate was no longer there.”
“I called for pain meds, and the nurse said I must have really said something to her, as while I was asleep, she demanded to be moved to a different room and that I should be kinder with my words.”
“I feel that I’m not the a**hole for wanting to sleep to recover. It could be the meds I’m on, but I feel horrible.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
NTA – Not The A**hole
YTA – You’re The A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – Why are you even entertaining a thought about how some busybody you’ll never meet again feels about you?”
“You’re not in a hospital to make friends but to get well.”
“Ignore the nurse as well.”
“She had one side of the story from the ‘victim’ who probably painted you as the AH.” ~ MurnSwag2
“NTA. Hospital roommates really suck sometimes.”
“Snoring, coughing, groaning, all kinds of stuff can happen.”
“It’s just the luck of the draw.”
“It’s not that I don’t have compassion for these people, but it can make it almost impossible to get a good night’s sleep.”
“Hopefully you got the side of the room with the windows.” ~ AgitatedPercentage32
“NTA. Tech in a hospital here.”
“Both the complaining roommate and the nurse are AH’s.”
“Unless that nurse was joking, she was out of line.”
“As for the roommate, who does she think you are?”
“Her entertainment coordinator?!”
“You’re in the hospital because you’re ill.”
“You need rest and meds, not some nagging pain in the a** yapping in your ear.”
“This is why private rooms in all hospitals should be a thing.”
“You had every right to take a nap, and as far as I can see, you were polite about it.”
“You gave them half an hour and then apologized and said you needed rest.”
“After surgery and anesthesia, this is necessary.”
“Don’t give this another thought.” ~ Economy-Cod310
“Exactly. Also, the roommate saw that OP had a baby when her husband brought them in to visit.”
“So the roommate should have known that it’s possible once OP gets home, she may not get to rest as much, so she needs to take advantage of this time to rest, not gab with her.”
“She wasn’t at a social club she was in recovery in the hospital. NTA.” ~ Frequent_Couple5498
“I had a tech help me out in the hospital.”
“I had just had an emergency C-section after 36 hours of active labor; they brought me back to my room while my baby was being checked over with my husband.”
“As soon as I was wheeled in my roommate got all excited to have a new mum to talk to.”
“I was doped up, uncomfortable, and exhausted, and I was trying to sleep.”
“After I politely asked not to chat a few times, the tech told her to read the room and leave me alone.” ~ sandgroper_westie
“As someone who’s spent way too much time in hospitals, I appreciate your hard work!”
“The OP’s neighbor was exceptionally rude, as was the nurse for admonishing her.”
“I almost never talk to roommates when I have them in the hospital.”
“I’m usually on heavy medications and mostly sleep or play games or do schoolwork on my phone or tablet, wearing headphones to stream music.”
“I am a bit antisocial, so I have no problem ignoring/being ignored by roommates.”
“After a surgery or procedure, it’s pretty common to be very tired, especially if anesthesia is involved.”
“Not to mention that having a newborn child tends to keep people from getting much rest at home.”
“NTA – Don’t put much worry into it, OP. You aren’t in the hospital to play host to your roommates.”
“The roommate should have been more gracious in understanding that someone that is ill or has been through a procedure may be physically and mentally exhausted.” ~ REDDIT
“NTA. I hated the few women like that I encountered on my ward when I was hospitalized.”
“They wanted 24/7 conversation, with no consideration for the fact that other people didn’t.”
“She was rude and nosy and always in everyone’s business, wanting to know all about what was wrong with them, and asking nurses what was wrong with the patient in the side room.”
“When you’re in hospital, you’re sick and need rest.”
“Some ladies on my ward did make friends with each other, but it wasn’t an expectation.”
“I got totally peopled out in the hospital; it was exhausting.”
“There was nowhere and no time I could just be, uninterrupted.”
“Even going to the bathroom or having a shower there would be people knocking on the door.”
“(Shared bathroom on the ward.)” ~ glitterswirl
“NTA. At all. I’d probably speak to the supervisor about the nurse’s comments.”
“While I’m sure they were well-intended, they were completely inappropriate.”
“Hope you’re feeling better.” ~ Tricky_Direction_897
“Yeah, was gonna say the same thing.”
“A new mother who just went through surgery… and the nurse has the audacity to say all of that without knowing the other side of the story?”
“Not even that —why bring it up at all?”
“Very unprofessional.” ~ Massive-Bear-2911
“Came here to say this.”
“I love nurses, my family is made of them- but they would never scold a sick patient for being tired/sick or even snappy.”
“A nurse that worked with my mom once scolded a sick kid for vomiting on her shoes- the management was told, and she had a conversation- sometimes people just need an empathy check (or a break) because burnout from caring does happen.”
“I’d definitely bring this up to management if it bothers you.” ~ IntroductionSad1104
“NTA. You’re in recovery from surgery, not at a bar, lol.”
“Your roommate sounds like my mom. I’m sorry.”
“Get some rest, and here’s to a full and speedy recovery.” ~ MadderHatter32
“NTA… it’s a hospital stay, not a social call.”
“She may have been feeling lonely, especially since you had visitors, but that doesn’t mean you are her built-in company.”
“I would address it with the nurses or someone else of that nature.”
“It’s not fair that the onus was on you because she got her feelings hurt.” ~ knight_shade_realms
“NTA.years ago, I was hospitalized, and my hospital roommate had her whole family over, like it was a party – when I just wanted to rest.”
“They stayed after visiting hours, and I was going crazy with frustration.”
“I was pretty young (19 or so) and finally called the nurse and whispered to her to please make them leave so I could sleep.”
“You are there to rest, not to socialize!” ~ kandoux
“NTA!!! As a retired R[egistered] N[urse], firstly wanting to sleep after surgery is normal, and the exhaustion you feel can be… erratic.”
“Secondly, they shouldn’t have said anything to you about her having a fit over the fact she didn’t have anyone to talk to.”
“It’s not YOUR responsibility to keep her entertained!!!”
“And they told you to be kinder with your words?”
“Report that nurse to your patient advocate, or you could simply confront her and say, ‘I don’t appreciate being told to be kinder with my words as I was tired and in pain.”‘
“‘I didn’t say or do anything unkind.'”
“‘And you should probably have the entire story before you reprimand me within and of itself is unacceptable as I’m an adult.'”
“‘I’m within my right to not want to speak to anyone while recovering.” ~ cinnamongirl73
“NTA. I had a hospital stay once and unfortunately had to share a room with the worst person.”
“Her family in and out at all hours with comments like, why is she in here- referring to me.”
“Started taking over my side of the room… the highlight for me was at 1 am when she was watching a movie on her iPad with no headphones at high volume.”
“You did nothing wrong. You were there to recover.”
“You are not there to make friends. Your number one concern is you and your health.”
“I’m surprised at the staff reaction.” ~ Fishby
“NTA… you shouldn’t have to be dealing with this in the hospital, and the nurse shouldn’t have upset you like that while you’re recovering.” ~ ImaginaryAd5712
“NTA. You just gave birth and had surgery.”
“You politely ended the chat. Wouldn’t be the AH even if you gave that nurse the middle finger for not minding her business.”
“She’s not there to be the moral police.”
“The problem was already resolved when you woke up.” ~ Fudgel89
“NTA… nurse was rude, and the patient was even more rude.”
“After my surgery, I was asleep on and off for about 24 hours, I didn’t eat until the morning after my surgery (which was at 9 am the previous day).”
“That was literally the first time I was awake for longer than 10 mins.”
“You spoke to her for 30 minutes, then apologized as you wanted to sleep.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“Her problem is she got her feelings hurt.”
“I mean if you were on heavy morphine, maybe you said something else but I doubt it.” ~ Ok_Young1709
“That’s quite a hospital that moves people to new rooms when they ask for it and chastises their patients.”
“If true, NTA of course.” ~ Melodic_Pattern175
“NTA, ask for the immediate supervisor of that nurse and report her.”
“You are there to recover, not playroom host, and the audacity of that nurse to reprimand you. Yeah, no time to file some truth back at that nasty nurse.”
“Get her name. It should be on your whiteboard in the room. also, you can file with the patient relation office.”
“I would also ask for another nurse, as this one seems to be biased against you.” ~ Glittering_Code_4311
“NTA at all.”
“And the staff seriously overstepped.”
“Your only job there is to recover, you have no duty to be in-house entertainment.”
“I would be tempted to complain about the member of staff who spoke to you like that.” ~ WatchingTellyNow
Well, OP had a small update…
“I am in a private hospital; for my admission, I did request a private room, but it is not always guaranteed.”
“Yesterday and today were the last days for ‘elective’ surgery.”
“To my surprise, an old classmate who works in the recovery ward and didn’t want to freak me out yesterday by visiting came by today.”
“She texted me saying she saw my name and then me in the ward yesterday, this morning she came by before she started her shift.”
“We had a lovely conversation and she got to meet my little one as my in-laws came by to visit as they are babysitting for him.”
“It was a wonderful silver lining as I hadn’t seen my classmate for about 6 years.”
“Turns out the former roommate was never meant to be put in a room with me as there are a lot of empty rooms.”
“My new morning nurse said that the former roommate was still complaining about me and a whole lot more.”
“She was doing laps up and down the ward and made comments to my mother-in-law about how rude I was as they were leaving.”
“My mother-in-law told her to shut up and focus on her own recovery instead of worrying about other people.”
“I get discharged tomorrow morning, so I am trying to rest up before I am back with my little family.”
Reddit is on your side here, OP.
This woman sounds like she has some issues she needs to work out for herself.
You needed to focus on your rest and recovery.
Not everybody wants to make hospital visits a social situation.
Here is to a speedy recovery.
Good luck.