Airline travel is a fast way to cover great distances, but it’s not without it’s drawbacks. It can be expensive and uncomfortable.
There’s also the issue of seating. Few people want a center seat—most prefer either the aisle or the window.
A traveler turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after a recent situation during a flight.
Mediocre-Chain1210 asked:
“AITA for refusing to give up my seat on the plane so a boy could sit next to his father, and to tell the father to behave himself?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“So basically I (29, male) boarded my short flight (70 min) which has a 2-2 seating arrangement.”
“I had booked myself a window seat and when I got there I saw a maybe 7-year-old boy sitting in there, next to his father (about 50 y/o) in the aisle seat. The opposite row also had his mother and his sister sitting there.”
“Although this happened less than 24h ago, I was exhausted so I don’t remember the conversation word for word.”
“I pointed towards my seat and the father asked me if I would mind swapping so they could sit together, and that their seat is in the row behind it. I said that I would only swap if it is a window seat, and he said it is an aisle seat.”
“Then I said I wouldn’t swap and the following conversation happened.”
“Him: ‘So, do you want to sit next to my son?’.”
“Me: ‘I don’t care, I just want the window seat’.”
“Him, standing up and getting his son up: ‘You are a very nice person. I mean not a very nice person’.”
“Me: ‘It’s none of your business and be polite’.”
“Him: ‘I am not’ (referring to polite).”
“Me: (I said something I don’t remember) ‘…and behave yourself’.”
“I just stood there looking at him serious, I think he was trying to shame me initially but he didn’t respond anything else to that.”
“His wife was watching this the whole time. When somebody in the row behind saw it, he offered to swap and sat next to me so they did eventually sit next to each other.”
“For all I care, they could have sat 20 rows apart or even booked a new flight. I had zero investment in this or their reasons. They can ask, I can say no, and that should be the end of it in my opinion.”
“I didn’t like they basically pulled a fait accompli when trying to swap with me. If they care that much, they can book their seats in advance like everyone else. I didn’t have a good reason why I need the window seat, except that I like it and don’t like the aisle seat.”
The OP later added:
“I used to read all those posts where people said they didn’t expect this to blow up. Well I thought I’d get like a dozen answers. But almost 2 million views in 24 hours is crazy.”
“Many people are wondering why I’m insisting on a window seat. I like to look out but mainly if I need a nap that is unlikely to happen if I can’t rest my head against the window.”
“Other than that I hate aisle seats a lot, equally if not more than middle seats. People and the drinks trolley keep bumping into you.”
“I don’t understand why anyone would choose to sit there. It takes the trolley bumping into you once to change your mind.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“Potentially split father and son apart and embarrassed him in front of his wife.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. It takes some audacity to decide what to do with someone else’s seat so f*ck those people. I only would have swapped seats if the other seat was also a window seat, I would not want to be stuck on the aisle seat that’s for sure.”
“I’m glad you put your foot down. That father’s sense of entitlement to your seat just because they didn’t properly plan their seats to sit together, that just really gets under my skin!” ~ I_PutTheFUNinFUNeral
“NTA. If they wanted the seat, they should have booked it together.”
“This same thing happened to me on the way home from Thanksgiving at my sister’s on Amtrak. I like the window seat, so if there’s one, I sit there (and I realize this is a little different, because unless it’s Amtrak business class which you can reserve, it’s first come, first serve).”
“It was an hour and a half train ride. This girl and her boyfriend board the train, I’m in my window seat, and the aisle seat is empty. Also, the aisle seat next to my aisle seat was also empty with the person next to them in the window. So they could have sat aisle/aisle and still been next to each other.”
“Anyway, the girlfriend says to me, ‘Excuse me—and if this isn’t okay, it’s fine—but would you mind finding another seat so he and I can sit together?’ I politely said, ‘No, sorry, I want to sit here’.”
“She actually looked a little shocked. But one of them sat next to me in the aisle, and the other one sat in the aisle seat across from us.”
“At the next stop, both of the people behind me got off, so the two of them quickly switched, grabbed those two, and were able to sit together. The boyfriend sat behind me, and promptly kicked the back of my seat HARD, about three times.”
“Gee, what happened to ‘If it’s not okay, it’s fine’? I ignored him—I figured the absolute best way to retaliate was to not acknowledge his childishness that he and his lady love had to sit less than a foot away from each other till the next stop.”
“People are just jerks when they don’t get what they want, you did nothing wrong. You booked your seat, and just because he wanted it doesn’t make him in the right.” ~ emergencycat17
“I was once on a train with a bunch of private school kids being sent home for the summer. There were a couple of sets of 4 seats facing each other- 2 facing 2 rather than the usual straight-on configuration.”
“In one of these sets of seats was a gentleman with a leg cast up to his knee. He was given 2 of the facing seats by the train staff so he could have the room to put up his leg- as an accommodation.”
“It was about a 2.5 hour ride into the city from that station. There were other seats available, but the facing sets were all full.”
“One of these high school kids starts demanding that the guy with the broken leg be put in a single forward facing seat so her and her friends could sit together in that set of seats. Train staff refused to force him to move.”
“The spoiled teenager starts spouting off stuff like ‘our group spent more money on this trip than anyone on this train’ and ‘my dad wouldn’t be happy with this’.”
“One of the school staff members that were on board heard all of this happening and comes up the aisle. They made it clear that if she didn’t sit her butt down in another seat, her father WOULD be hearing about this and that she would NOT be happy with the consequences her behaviour will have caused.”
“In the end, she stomped away and stayed silent and sullen for the rest of the trip.” ~ fineman1097
“NTA. You’re right, they can ask, and you can say no. You booked the window seat because that’s where you wanted to sit, and you don’t have to give up your seat just because someone else wants it.” ~ ExistenceRaisin
“I fly 40-50 flights a year and I see this ALL the time….and it is ALWAYS entitled parents with kids. Just because they don’t know how to book a flight doesn’t give them a license to inconvenience anyone else on the plane.”
“I used to give in to these requests…but then a few years ago I simply stopped and now I do exactly as you did and just tell them to follow the rules like everyone else. You are definitely NOT the a-hole…you are just another tired traveler who did everything the right way and you should be rewarded for that by getting your window seat.” ~ ProgDogg
“When did this start, do you think? I mean the entitled parent thing. I traveled for work about as much as you did (40-50 flights a year) between 2013 and 2017. It was nothing like this. People got on the plane, sat in their seats, worked/slept/read/snacked/watched movies.”
“I just recently started traveling for work again and holy shit. It’s night and day and like I’ve entered into a parallel universe.”
“I usually always reserve a window (for night travel) or an aisle seat (for days so I can work on the plane) and I’ve had some of the weirdest experiences.”
“One woman asked me if I could stop working on my laptop and let her kid borrow it so that he could play with it and entertain himself. Umm…no.”
“I’ve definitely had people try to guilt me into giving up my seat so their kid could see out the window (uh…no).”
“The flight staff doesn’t want to get involved and I get it. I imagine they are exhausted from the bullsh*t they see every day.” ~ LowBalance4404
“NTA. I was this Dad last week (weren’t enough seats in a row when I booked), asked the person in the seat I wanted to switch (aisle to aisle), but she couldn’t because her wheelchair couldn’t go the extra couple of rows.”
“I thanked her, and that was the end of it. My son was slightly disappointed, but got over it easily. The lady and my wife chatted nicely during the flight, and I chatted nicely with the person I ended up sitting next to. No big deal!” ~ thatdamnedkid
As the OP pointed out, the father could ask, but asking and getting are two different things. The OP had every right to say no.