Content Warning: Food Allergy, Food Sensitivity, Anaphylaxis
For those of us who have shared space with a roommate, partner, or annoying sibling, we should all be able to agree about one thing: there’s nothing more annoying than when they steal something from us.
Food seems to be especially frustrating, because they have to open the containers and packages on purpose, pointed out the users of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Senior_Key_1728 had lived with her roommate for a few months and was fed up with him always stealing her food, no matter how much she tried to talk to him about it.
When she put almond flour in her food to stop him from eating her food because of his allergies, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked when he prioritized stealing her food over his health.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for ‘poisoning’ my roommate after he kept stealing my food?”
The OP ha lived with a roommate for a few months.
“I (25 Female) live with my roommate (27 Male). I originally lived alone, but due to some financial difficulties, I invited him to live with me.”
“Well, to be specific, one of my friends told me about him when I told everyone I was searching for a roommate. He was fine at first. He didn’t smoke and didn’t do drugs, so I let him live with me. He pays half of the rent and utilities.”
“But we’ve had some serious issues lately. I work full-time (late into the night), so I cook for myself before leaving for work.”
The OP was infuriated when her roommate didn’t respect her meal prep.
“It was all good for a few months, until recently. Whenever I came home, I noticed that my food was missing.”
“I’d ask him about it, and he would deny it, over and over again. Every single time.”
“I even started to label everything I made with my name, but my food still kept disappearing, which p**sed me off.”
The OP’s roommate, on the other hand, had a nut allery, which the OP respected.
“Now, for some additional context, I’m not even a huge fan of nuts. I don’t crave them, I don’t eat them much at all, but my roommate is severely allergic.”
“He told me when he came to live with me that he cannot consume anything with nuts, so I’ve avoided nuts in our shared space completely for the sake of his allergy.”
“But after weeks of my food going missing and him always denying it, I just snapped. The thing is, literally no one lives here other than me and him, and he doesn’t really have a lot of friends that I do not know, since he joined my friend group after moving here.”
“I know for a fact that he doesn’t have anyone staying over, so it was him. Plus, I even caught him eating my food a few times, so that just shows that he’s a sly pig.”
“I remember preparing some cooked ribs for myself to reheat after I returned home from work. It was going to be an especially tiring day, so as usual, I labeled the container with the ribs and left for work.”
“I sent him a message telling him NOT to eat it, with a picture of the container. However, alas, the food was gone.”
The OP decided to take revenge on her roommate.
“At this point, I was so p**sed that I decided that I was going to mess with him. I went out of my way to buy almond powder and put it in my trap meal of mac and cheese.”
“I gave this guy a chance to spare his life, I told him not to eat it. I even made sure to tell him, ‘Hey, that mac and cheese is mine. Don’t touch it.’ I even sent a message with a picture of it as usual.”
“I was being extra clear, and just to make sure everything went according to plan, I secretly set up a camera to record the kitchen.”
“Later that night, I came back and saw that he’d eaten the entire batch. That pig was so f**king inconsiderate that he just left the reheated container on the table. I decided to take the camera with me and decided to head out to a bar.”
“If he hadn’t eaten the mac and cheese, I would’ve stayed home and binged Netflix but he ate it, so I might as well enjoy myself while he struggles with his allergy.”
It turned out the roommate actually had an allergy.
“A few hours later, I found out he was in the hospital with an allergic reaction.”
“His mom used his phone to call me, being furious. She was screaming at me, accusing me of being a monster and poisoning her son by feeding him nuts.”
“I told her that it was food not meant for him, and sent her proof. I told her to read the messages I sent him, which showed the container and my reminder that he shouldn’t eat it.”
“However, his mom started berating me for being ‘careless,’ asking why I would have something that he can’t eat. I just responded that I told him not to eat the mac and cheese and even labeled it.”
“I got p**sed and screamed into the phone that if he can’t respect that and he keeps taking my food, then I don’t know what else to do. I told her that I’ve been very clear about this for months and that he keeps on stealing my food and denying it.”
“She then started bulls**tting, asking me if I even cared about him.”
The OP was over the whole situation.
“I told her I didn’t because I’ve repeatedly told him not to steal my food. I told her that he denied it every time, and would still eat it even if I specifically messaged him not to eat it and labeled the container. I even told her I had video evidence of the whole thing.”
“She didn’t want to hear it and started crying, but honestly, I didn’t feel guilty at all. I felt like this was the only way he’d learn.”
“I tried conversations, messages, and everything else I could think of but he just can’t cook for himself. How is it my fault? It’s not like I put it in HIS food. It was MINE.”
“But everyone is calling me a psycho, but I don’t get why I’m the bad guy. I specifically told him not to eat the food. His family clearly raised him to think it was okay to take things that weren’t his, and now I’m the one being vilified.”
“But at the same time, I know that he’s kind of broke, and he can’t afford hospital bills right now so I do feel guilty about that.”
“Was I wrong? Or was I justified in teaching him a lesson about respecting my food?”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some recommended putting almond flour in the OP’s food until the roommate moved.
“Don’t ever admit you booby-trapped the food on purpose. Depending on where you are, you could be held responsible, both financially and legally.”
“I’m with you in thieves deserve what they get. Except you could have killed him, depending on the severity of his allergy. While he sucks and deserves to suffer, I think death by your hand is going a bit far. Getting sick is whatever, but this was risky. Not just for him but for you.”
“Label all your food CONTAINS NUTS, and then it’s his choice and problem.” – kmflushing
“I’d say, ‘I’m putting nut powder in everything I eat from now on because you keep stealing my food.'” – QuellishQuellish
“OP, if you unfortunately need to continue living with this unremorseful felon thief, make it KNOWN that hereby you’ll be cooking and preparing ALL of your meals with some variation of nuts sprinkled in it.” – kiefandmocha
“Heck, if you want to go scorched earth with this guy, and I know I would, you can tell him, ‘You are a thief who keeps stealing my food. From now on, I’m going to sprinkle almond flour on my food. If you eat it, YOU will be the one responsible for your throat closing up. If I come home and you are unalived on the floor, I am going to take your PS5.'” – Gonnabehave
“Even if he would have tried to call your bluff before, now you CAN say it and he’s sure as shit going to believe you.”
“For good measure, actually add it for a couple of weeks and tell him in your texts that everything will have almond powder in it from now on. I bet there’s at least one more episode of him in the hospital. But more simply, just evict him.” – MagicCarpet5846
Others advised the OP to remove her roommate from the apartment as soon as possible.
“NTA. Now you need to watch your food to make sure he doesn’t mess with it. You really should tell him that him living with you is not working out and he should move out.” – georgel-20c
“This arrangement clearly isn’t working. Even with boundaries, it seems like trust is completely gone, and that’s no way to live. OP would definitely be better off with a roommate who can respect their space (and food).” – mukanegaeb
“I definitely would not trust him to spit or something disgusting in your food!! AND do NOT pay for his hospital bill!! Nobody can make you, especially with all the pictures you have telling the selfish prick to leave your food alone, AND, it was in your contract!” – Fresh-Scallion602
“The dude should go live with his mommy so she can continue to feed her man-baby. And OP needs to find a new roommate.” – Plastic-Ad-5171
“Mommy can continue to wipe his a** and as his mother, she REALLY needs parenting classes, because she didn’t even teach him to cook, but he does know how to lie and steal from people.”
“OP, kick him out. He’s not a roommate he’s a child. He deserves to go back home to his mom’s house.” – Existing_Gift_7343
“He clearly needs to go back to his mommy, and OP deserves someone who can actually step up and be supportive and NOT STEAL.”
“A fresh start with a new roommate sounds like the best move for peace of mind.” – Hot_Soft_Whisper
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update.
“A lot of people are saying that I could get into legal issues or something for putting nuts into the food.”
“The thing is, I made him sign a roommate agreement when we decided to live together, where I specified that food is something we will not share (including cost) and that our groceries and food should not be touched by the other person. I added this because he tends to eat a lot of unhealthier foods (such as delivery) while I tend to make my own food to save money.”
“Also, to clarify, I did not consume nuts only because I was considering his allergy. When we started living together, he literally said that I could eat them if I wanted to but I just didn’t because I didn’t really need to and I wanted to be considerate.”
“With this event, I learned that his allergy isn’t that severe. I was discussing this with my friends and one guy literally mentioned that the dude took a bite of a granola bar (with nuts in it) once and just used an Epi-pen. In fact, apparently it’s not life-threatening if he doesn’t eat it in high dosages (I sprinkled a tiny bit because I was going to eat the mac and cheese myself later if it was there).”
“I checked with my neighbors, and they literally said that his mom (they think it’s his mom at least) picked him up and drove him to the hospital. It wasn’t like an ambulance was called. He’s literally okay, and he’s texting his friends right now.”
“His mom wants me to pay for the hospitalization, though, and I’ll revisit that later. I’m very thankful that he isn’t severely allergic.”
“He hasn’t messaged me yet, I sent him a message asking if he was okay.”
It should be a simple enough rule to not steal from your roommate and most certainly to not eat their food out of the fridge.
While it’s unfortunate that the roommate learned this lesson through an allergic reaction, he chose to eat the food with a warning about the almond flour just like he chose to eat the food after signing an agreement.
If he wasn’t ready to learn and grow as a roommate, he might not ready to live anywhere but his mom’s house.