Almost everybody has a list of favorite TV shows to binge.
There is a special nostalgia that surrounds a certain piece of entertainment.
A favorite show from the past can be like a comfort food.
And rewatching episodes can feel like visiting with old friends.
But every show is not for everybody.
Redditor Feisty_Echidna_1588 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not agreeing to sit and watch an entire TV show with my daughter as a ‘bonding’ thing?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My 28-year-old daughter Jessica moved back in with me and her father (my husband) 6 months ago.”
“She split with her live-in G[irl]Friend] and will save up at home.”
“The one big difference she and I have always had is that she LOVES watching TV.”
“She is always watching something or as she says ‘doing a rewatch’ and all of that.”
“I never really got into TV.”
“Jessica started ‘doing a rewatch’ of a show she must have seen a dozen times, Gilmore Girls.”
“It is a show about a very entitled and bratty mother and daughter who constantly yell and scream at each other and everyone around them.”
“Over the years while she has watched it, I’ve seen enough to know that I just do not like it.”
“I think the show relies on the viewer to find the yelling matches endearing or the ‘quirky’ cast of side characters to be charming.”
“It’s just not for me.”
“I could explain more about what I don’t like but I don’t think anyone wants that.”
“But Jessica asked me if we could do this one together because it would be a great mother/daughter bonding time.”
“I asked her how we would be bonding by sitting down and watching the TV, and she said it would just be the experience.”
“I told her that I was sorry, but I just genuinely disliked the show AND that I am not interested in watching hours and hours of TV, to begin with.”
“I told her that I would be happy to watch a movie with her every week.”
“She didn’t want to do that.”
“And now I’ve hurt her feelings and she’s angry with me because I won’t sit and watch a TV show I dislike with her.”
“I don’t like to hurt her feelings, but I also cannot imagine how much time I’d be wasting just sitting there watching a show about overly privileged people screaming at each other.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. I see the comments beating you up for not doing this bonding activity with your daughter.”
“I think they are missing that you are willing to bond over watching movies together, and your daughter said ‘no’ to that.”
“My kid’s interests are very different from mine (with some overlaps).”
“I will regularly and frequently spend time talking with each other about things that they love that I don’t – just for the connection.”
“But I can only take so much of the latest celebrity scandal from kid #1 or anime stories from kid #2.”
“And I absolutely can’t share watching horror movies with anyone.”
“They love and appreciate what we do share and respect that some things are more than I can handle.”
“Your daughter wants to bond with you. It doesn’t have to be through the Gilmore Girls.”
“She may have some nostalgia for this show, but not because you and she spent many happy hours discussing in the era before-ex-G[irl]F[riend].”
“Your daughter can re-bond with you over a show the two of you actually enjoyed (at least somewhat) together or over movies that have a mother-daughter-bond theme to them.”
“You are a mother, and you make sacrifices for your children, but you are also a person.”
“One who happens to find the Gilmore Girls excruciating to watch.”
“Surely there is at least one other show from the 90s (?) or other mom/daughter show or a 30-minute show that you both can give 60 minutes to each week.”
“Your daughter has to have more than one thing she wants to bond with you over.” ~ swillshop
“NAH. You’re allowed to not like the show, but have you suggested any alternate activities to do together?”
“Your daughter was reaching out for connection, and hoping that a show that is about the strong bond between a mother and daughter would be good for relating to her own mother.”
“And you basically sh*t all over her offer.”
“My guess is there’s a reason she enjoys the fantasy of a strong mother-daughter relationship in Gilmore Girls.” ~ arsenal_kate
“NTA. People in the comments are making some wild assumptions about OP’s relationship with her daughter and about OP’s unwillingness to bond with her daughter despite OP saying that she would be fine watching something else.”
“Comments are also wild because if the daughter was really so miserable, I doubt she would have moved home or suggested more bonding activities with her mom.”
“Also, the very fact that OP is willing to question her decision suggests that she’s not a heartless mom.”
“That said, I understand that the daughter suffered a breakup and is feeling vulnerable but asking her mom, who she knows doesn’t like TV, to commit to watching hundreds of hours of TV to bond is manipulative and spoiled.”
“If she really wanted to bond with her mom, she’d find something they both could enjoy or suggest therapy.” ~ saintandvillian
“No, you are NTA at all.”
“Your daughter wants you to take on her habit as ‘bonding time’ when she surely knows that you dislike watching TV in general and that you dislike Gilmore Girls.”
“It can not be bonding if one just asks the other to join one of her activities if she knows the other dislikes it.”
“Your daughter has absolutely no right to be angry with you and is acting super childish and selfish by the way.” ~ DonWilliam77
“Anyone who is commenting to say ‘It’s not a yelling show’ is 100% wrong or has been desensitized to the yelling.”
“Lorelei and Rory are constantly fighting with each other, and Lorelei’s stunted way of communicating is to raise her voice and yell.”
“Anyway NTA. There’s like 7 seasons of that show.”
“That’s roughly 5 whole days of watching a show that you don’t like.”
“That’s too much to ask anyone to surrender for the sake of bonding.” ~ notmappedout
“I understand this.”
“I was the target audience age for Gilmore Girls when it was on and I absolutely hated it then and hate it now.”
“Probably because I also had an immature mother who wanted me to parent her, and it was infuriating to see it on screen, especially because it was sort of portrayed as quirky or somewhat positive.”
“Parenting your parents kind of sucks.”
“I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with people who like it.”
“No piece of media is perfect, and especially with things that are old, we tend to overlook the parts that are problematic and just enjoy things that are good.”
“Which I think is nice; you don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water.”
“But I think the mom has proposed some reasonable compromises including doing other things with her daughter she doesn’t enjoy and being willing to watch a movie or something else once a week just not this particular show that she truly can’t stand.”
“Insisting on this one particular show with no variance is pretty childish.”
“And while this is her daughter, she is 25 years old and should be able to understand that she can’t share all of her interests with her mother, and that’s okay.” ~ BojackTrashMan
“I guess it really depends on how close you are with your family and what you’re willing to do for other people.”
“If I was going through a hard time, I 100% know my parents would sit with me for hours and hours and watch a shi**y show they don’t like, only for them to comfort me and just to be there for me.”
“And I actually did something similar for a friend who was going through a hard time in her life.”
“And I never once thought my friend was inconsiderate or immature.”
“I just did everything I could to be there for her.”
“Some of the responses are just sad to me.”
“Makes me think they wouldn’t do that for someone else because they don’t have anyone that would do it for them.” ~ Stunning-Try9757
“So why doesn’t she choose a few films that scratch that itch for her and watch those with her mum instead?”
“There’s no way in hell I would be watching Gilmore Girls either, I can’t even stand to be in the same room when it’s on.”
“My husband has been rewatching comfort shows for months, but they’re all shows I hate so he watches them alone.”
“Not wanting to watch MASH or Star Trek doesn’t mean I don’t love him or want to spend time with him, I just can’t stand those particular shows (which my dad also loved when I was a kid, so you’d think they would be comforting for me too!).”
“This woman is 28 years old, she can self-soothe.”
“She’s extremely lucky she has a mother who is alive, supportive, and loves her enough to offer her a safe place to land.”
“Lots of us would kill for that.” ~ diwalk88
“NTA – She asked, you declined but offered a reasonable compromise.”
“If she doesn’t want to take you up on that that’s her choice, but you shouldn’t be required to watch something you already dislike just for ‘bonding.'”
“She’s an adult now and needs to learn just because she wants something doesn’t mean she gets it, ESPECIALLY when that thing is other people’s time.”
“Also, you’re 100% correct about how terrible and self-centered the two main characters in that show are.”
“That your daughter both idolizes the show AND gets upset when people don’t treat her as the main character is totally unsurprising.” ~ Dschingis_Khaaaaan
“NTA. She is acting quite immature.”
“I wouldn’t want to use hours and hours on a TV show either.”
“If she really wants to bond with you she should suggest walking together.”
“Bonding while watching a TV show just sounds like nonsense to me.” ~ Simple-Plankton4436
“NTA. Can’t you two just agree on a different show that you both like?”
“That doesn’t seem like much to ask; if she watches that much TV, there must be some other options that you could agree on.” ~ Tdluxon
“NTA. Bonding time is about doing mutually enjoyable things together.”
“You offered a pretty reasonable compromise in watching movies together.”
“At 28 your daughter is old enough to not have my way or the highway attitude when it comes to spending time together.” ~ AgnarCrackenhammer
“Lots of butthurt Gilmore Girls fans in the comments, it seems like.”
“NTA. OP’s daughter is an adult who doesn’t understand the idea of compromise.”
“Maybe that’s why she’s currently single.” ~ somehuehue
“NTA. I tried to watch Gilmore Girls.”
“I hated the show.”
“If your daughter wants to spend time with you, she should be willing to engage in activities you both enjoy.” ~ maccrogenoff
“NTA ’cause you offered another thing to watch.”
“Maybe try a series that you both find interesting and can watch together.”
“You can do other stuff together, try going out to drink something, have lunch, and go to the cinema.” ~ Whispering_Reese
“NTA… there is nothing more obnoxious than somebody who demands you to waste your time watching a TV series you are not interested in.”
“You already suggested alternatives so to everybody saying OP should just watch the show why can’t the daughter do what OP suggests.” ~ EnterNameOrEmail
“You have severely misunderstood Gilmore Girls.”
“Maybe watching it would be good for you.”
“NAH, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do but doing so would make you a better parent.” ~ heckaroo42
OP came back for a quick chat…
“Edit: I just want to clarify a few things, since there are some wild leaps in the comments.”
“We do spend time together, and over the years (and now) I’ve done many, many things with her that I wasn’t all that interested in.”
“I’ve seen Taylor Swift three times, and it wasn’t because I love her.”
“I know she’s still hurting from the split.”
“The first month after she moved back in, she didn’t really do much other than work and watch Criminal Minds.”
“Her dad really likes that show, so they ended up watching a bunch of it together, and I think I watched a few episodes with her as well.”
“And for what it’s worth, I don’t count giving her a place to live as a big thing.”
“She’s my kid; she will always have a place in my home so long as I’m alive.”
Everyone seems to understand your frustration OP.
Nobody should feel they have to waste a ton of time to appease someone else’s feelings.
When her feelings are a little less raw, hopefully, your daughter will come around.
The movie-a-week idea sounds like a nice compromise.
Good luck.