All brides and grooms go into planning their wedding with at least a vague idea of what they want it to be.
Some, however, have had every minute detail planned since they were children, and won’t settle for anything less.
Of course, their dream wedding theme might not exactly be what their friends and family would have wanted.
And even though it’s not their opinion to have, these same friends and family sometimes don’t shy away from their true feelings about these weddings.
The wedding day of Redditor Brilliant_Peace9682 had finally arrived, after waiting for two years for her venue to become available.
Much to the original poster (OP)’s surprise, however, her family abruptly informed her that they felt she should change her long-desired theme, despite time not being on the OP’s side.
Unwilling to change her dream wedding theme, the OP felt that there was only one solution in dealing with any friends or family members who expressed any objections to her wedding.
Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for uninviting 25 family members to my wedding 6 weeks to show time?”
The OP explained why she disinvited a sizable number of guests to her wedding:
“I have had this Halloween Wedding planned for two years.”
“The venue I wanted has a wait list.”
“All the sudden my mom and grandma decided the wedding was satanic and want me to make last minute changes.”
“I told my mom and grandma a firm no.”
“Two years my family has known about this and because I have told them, now half my mom’s side thought they would be cute and say they aren’t coming in a random a** power struggle.”
“I told them fine and canceled everyones invitations who complained or backed my mom or grandma on this.”
“One of my sisters acted like she stepped out of brides maid duty so I replaced her.”
“It was about 25 people that decided to act stupid at less than 6 week mark so I sent out uninvited invitation and I sent out new QR codes for those attending and the venue will check in by only those to let people in.”
“My aunt (who was one of the uninvited) told me people are allowed to disagree with me and that doesn’t mean can pull an invitation from a wedding that they have made plans to attend.”
“I told my aunt they had two years for complaints but saying you are not going at 6 weeks before my wedding is bullsh*t and everyone f*cked around and found out I will not be bullied by my family over this.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for revoking those 25 invitations.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s family was out of line in telling her to abandon her theme with so little time before the wedding, with others pointing out that she wasn’t technically uninviting them, because they told her they wouldn’t come:
“NTA, They already said they’re not coming, so why are they complaining now?”- Mystyque
“NTA.”
“Mom and gma decided to intentionally blow up your wedding.”
“Then they rallied their little army to put pressure on you.”
“I would wager a bet this isn’t the first time you’ve had a run-in with them over them trying to control your life.”- WhereWeretheAdults
“NTA.”
“‘Saying you are not going at 6 weeks before my wedding is bullsh*t and everyone f*cked around and found out I will not be bullied by my family over this’.”
“F*ck, yeah.”- StAlvis
“NTA.”
“Sounds like a blast.”
“Which bride are you dressing as?”- Historical-Goal-3786
“OP’s spine grew 3 sizes that day.”
“Tell your aunt that you only want people at your wedding who fully support you and your new spouse.”
“NTA.”- RickRussellTX
“NTA.”
“This is will a lit celebration!”
“Congrats!”- delightful_baby
“NTA.”
“Saw in the comments you’re having a corpse bride wedding.”
“That’s so sweet and endearing I don’t care about anyone’s beliefs anyone who can’t just let someone enjoy their damn corpse bride wedding shouldn’t be at the corpse bride wedding!”-Illustrious_Bird9234
“They are allowed to disagree with you.”
“From the comfort of their own homes.”
“Telling someone their wedding 1) is satanic, and 2) needs to change is not ‘disagreement’.”
“It is a request that you alter your wedding to suit them, and you are perfectly within your rights to decline to spend your day with people judging you that hard.”
“Have a great time with the guests who aren’t jerks.”
“NTA.”- EsmeWeatherwax7a
“NTA.”
“You’ve spent two years planning your wedding, and it’s your special day.”
“It’s understandable to feel frustrated when people try to impose their beliefs last minute.”
“If they weren’t on board from the start, they should’ve spoken up sooner.”
“You did what you had to do to protect your peace.”- Material_Gas_2429
“NTA.”
“Finally someone who doesn’t take sh*t and will go scorched earth for their beliefs.”
“If only more people were like you instead of the doormats in this world.”- Original_Heat6618
“NTA at all.”
“It’s a Halloween wedding.”
“I’d find it weird if you didn’t lean into that!”
“On the real side.”
“I didn’t have a backbone and ended up bending to my family’s will.”
“They ruined my wedding.”
“I’m so proud you aren’t allowing anyone to dictate your happiness.”
“I’m now NC with my family, but I wish I had the spine you did then.”
“You won’t regret uninviting them.”
“It’s worse when they’re there complaining and making a show of it.”
“You will have fun with those who want to be there and those who want to actually celebrate your happiness.”- Smeli_meli2
“NTA.”
“I’m 70 and, if you were my niece, I’d ask your advice for how to dress, go to the wedding and have fun!”
“It is not my place to express an opinion about another’s event.”
“If I was religious and scandalized, I’d send my regrets with a nice gift from your registry that did not offend my puritanical sensibilities.”- mom_in_the_garden
“NTA and congrats on having a lovely shiny spine.”
“Your wedding so your choices of decor, venue etc.”
“Anyone who wants to pull these kinds of shenanigans with 6 weeks til the Big Event after having had 2 whole years (total of about 104 weeks) to do this are bullies of the worst kind and you don’t need people like that in your life.”
“Halloween is based on Samhain, a celebration of the beloved dead.”
“But way back when, the christian missionaries converted it (after being given strict instructions to do so by the Pope) to get more people to convert from paganism.”
“There is nothing satanic about Halloween/Samhain or about haunted buildings, so your mum and grandma are woefully mis-/un-educated on this.”- BlackCatWitch29
“NTA, my in-laws pulled sh*t like this when we were planning a destination wedding to the province that they all live in (groom & I live across the country) so we pulled the plug and had a small elopement ceremony with 2 witnesses instead.”
“You do you mama!”
“Also I wanna see this wedding dress ;).”- Lexi_Applebum83
“NTA: Halloween Weddings are awesome, good for you for standing your ground.”
“If they can’t be mature about your dream wedding too friggen bad for them.”
“Their loss.”- Wykkyd_Wyldflower
“NTA.”
“‘My aunt (who was one of the uninvited) told me people are allowed to disagree with me and that doesn’t mean can pull an invitation from a wedding that they have made plans to attend’.”
“They all said they weren’t coming I’d take that as declining on your invitations so you acted accordingly.”
“Why save 25 seats for people who told you they’re not going to come in an attempt to bully you into having a wedding they’d prefer?”
“I’d tell them ‘No no it works better this way, now I’ll have plenty of room for the giant pentagram we plan to chalk onto the floor’ LOL.”- Legitimate_Soup_1948
“NTA.”
“Your aunt may be right that people are allowed to disagree with you.”
“However, she’s completely wrong in thinking that she or anyone else insisting you change your wedding deserve to keep their invitations.”
“Good for you for not taking their crap and standing up for yourself and your dream wedding!”
“It’s your wedding!”
“Do what makes you happy and cut the people who can’t even be bothered to support you.”
“Congratulations on your wedding!”
“A Halloween wedding sounds super fun and I wish you a drama-free day!”- ExRiverFish4557
The OP’s family had two years to tell her that they weren’t thrilled with her choice of wedding theme.
Even so, their opinion of the wedding theme was irrelevant, as that decision is entirely up to the bride and groom.
The OP’s family should have considered a bit more carefully whether a theme they didn’t like was worth missing her special day entirely.
Instead, they didn’t even end up having the choice in the matter…