Having a member of the family who specializes in a unique and impressive field can be an enviable position to be in.
However, what can be viewed as a perk can often be exploited.
A guy who is really skilled in the culinary arts experienced something he wasn’t uncomfortable with and asked strangers online for judgment about his position.
So he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
There, Redditor ClassroomBoring115 asked:
“AITA for refusing to feed my sister’s kids for free every day?
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My older sister (37 F[emale]) has 3 kids under 10. I (25 M[ale]) don’t have kids yet but I’m a junior sous-chef and I cook a lot in my spare time.”
“During some recent time off from work my sister asked if I could babysit her kids after school for three days. I said yes. I watched the kids.”
“She paid me for it and I thought that would be it. But then she asked me what the kids ate with me after the week had ended and then she wanted to know how I got her kids to eat a full meal.”
“Her kids are picky eaters. They are typically the kids who will eat what they like off a plate (meat and potatoes, rice or noodles) and then leave the rest (veggies, sauces).”
The OP continued:
“According to my sister and BIL, even if you give more veggies than something else they won’t eat them and they’ll wait until their next meal and if you give all veggies or insist they eat the veggies before anything else, they’ll skip the meal.”
“I sorta knew that about them before I babysat so I blended veggies and other good stuff into their dinner the first day with me and the second day I served them but I did them but hid them in plain sight and on the last day I just served them in a way they don’t get them normally and because they knew they had them they ate them without an issue.”
However, it was a temporary solution.
“But they wouldn’t eat them for my sister or BIL after. There was some back and forth between us and I shared some recipes but my sister said she couldn’t get them to eat the food.”
“So she wanted me to make food for her kids every day. I asked if she was going to pay me for spending all that time and money and she told me I should do it as a way to help my nieces and nephews stay healthy.”
“I told her it’s a big ask. She told me I have the chance to really help and put my skills to good use for family.”
“I feel like it’s asking a lot because they expect me to make something every day for the kids. But my sister feels like I’m being a bad brother and uncle.”
“AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA. Does your sister know how much food costs? If she wants to buy the food and bring it over, and provide the disposable to go boxes then I think you should do it. I cook for people all the time for free, but they pay for the food.”
“If you enjoy it, it gives you experience. But only if she pays for the food and costs associated with it.” – MrsNobodyspecial67
“Say you are too busy. The holidays are coming people are booking events and you are needed to plan menus. She is taking advantage of you.” –Tight_Jaguar_3881
“Your sister is delusional. Look up the prices of meal prep services that would be equivalent to what she wants. Then add in your time. That’s the value of your services.”
“Obviously, you are a good cook. But hiding vegetables from picky kids is a time-honored parental trick. They should already have thought of that. You’ve already offered to teach your sister to cook for her own kids. You owe her nothing more.” – Aylauriea
“Dude, tell her it’s her job, instead of dumping it on you, she should work on her culinary skills for HER OWN children. You are not unpaid slave for her. Too bad for the kids, but don’t burn yourself to help others. Not like kids will die without you anyway.” – Neurismus
“Her kids are doing what all kids do. They say no to their parents because they’re comfortable and have been saying no with no real repercussions. You’re their uncle, but not as comfortable as a parent.”
“They will eat what you tell them. As time goes by they’ll stop with you too. Your sister needs to learn how to make her kids eat.” – Tough-Flower6979
“All of this. It’s a power play with the kids. 90% chance that your sister could serve the food you made and they wouldn’t eat it (unless she said you made it and then 50/50 on whether they eat it.”
“And no… you don’t have to make food for free for you sister. NTA.” – Firm_Cookie_8747
“NTA – She’s asking you to be her personal chef and for free no less. These are her children, they are her responsibility not yours. What she should have asked is if you could give her some recipes or even cooking lessons where she pays for the ingredients. She is taking advantage of you.” – AnxietyQueeeeen
“Your sister is the parent. Not you. She’s enabling their behavior. They’ve shown they can eat it. Maybe you should ask the kids why they won’t eat it for mom. Maybe she needs a few culinary lessons. But unless she wants to hire you to prepare meals, no.” – karjeda
“Hell no. She’s paying you to babysit, which means she understands that your time is worth something. ‘I can’t take a pay cut on this, which is what buying food out of the money you’re paying me would be.’ ”
“NTA.” – that_was_way_harsh
“Wtf! This is not a reasonable request even if she purchased all the food! And besides I would bet money that they won’t touch it with mom amd dad present anyway! I have 4 kids lol I was always grateful they saved this crap for me and were angels for the sitter!”
“So what then you take over all meal duties alone so they will eat? Nah toss her a bottle of gummy vitamins amd tell her to ask their Dr. This is an insanely entitled request and not at all an uncle responsibility. She chose to be a mom. Time to mount up!” – Momof41984
“NTA. She’s using you. Just because it’s family doesn’t mean she isn’t being a leech about it. HELPING your sister get your niblings to eat healthy food would be coming over and making food from THEIR house for them.”
“Not expecting you to both provide professional sous chef meals for zero cost to her for materials or labor! And to then try to guilt you for not wanting to take on the cost of paying for her kids food!? She is incredibly entitled and needs to hear a hard NO for once.” – Lazy-Instruction-600
“I cooked for a living for a really long time. I’m not trying to speak for OP, but after a few years, I got really burned out on cooking. And that’s a huge ask, not to mention the time investment too.”
“I’d probably consider it if his sister paid for the food and also did something for OP, like cleaning his house or an equivalent time investment. It sounds very entitled to just ask op to do it because basically….say it with me, FaMiLly. Edit to add NTA.” – findingmyjoyagain
“Even if sister was paying the costs, it would still be a huge ask and completely reasonable for OP to say no. It takes a lot of time and effort to plan and cook meals. OP would have to sacrifice their free time and/or would be less available for paid work as a result.”
“If they want to do that then fine, but it shouldn’t be expected and it was pretty rude of the sister to ask imho.” – tlvv
“NTA.”
“Has she seen how expensive a bag of groceries is lately?! And she wants you to increase your grocery spending by three-fold for free?! Not only that, but your time and effort to cook a nice meal should be compensated. I used to work service industry, I know a lot of cooks that ate like garbage at home because they spent all day cooking for other people, so the last thing they wanted to do when they got home was cook more food.”
“It’s close to the holidays; I might offer to either spend time with her teaching her how to cook or get her some cooking lessons so she can mimic the meals you made for her kids. Clearly the kids like the veggies when cooked a specific way. (My mom used to just boil Brussels sprouts; I HATED them as a kid.”
“I finally had them roasted as an adult and thought – why couldn’t they have been like this? I would have eaten them more often!)” – Discount_Mithral
Overall, Redditors were shocked that the OP’s sister had the audacity to expect her brother to be all in with the plan just because he was a family member.
They also thought she was entitled and that she should assume the role of mom and work on the recipes her brother took the trouble of providing for her, for free, so that her children could benefit from it.