An innocent trip to Target sparked some drama back at home after a dad indulged in his youngest teenage son’s request.
The item his boy wanted to purchase with his own money was a tool for grooming hair.
After causing drama about the purchased item, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked for judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor TrioDaddio asked:
“AITA for letting my son ‘manscape’ when my wife doesn’t want him to?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I’ll try to keep it short.”
“My wife and I have three boys, 17, 16, and 14. May the lord have mercy on my soul. Actually they are good guys.”
“I was at Target with my youngest, Tanner. We split for a while and he shows back up asking if he could buy something with his own money. It was a beard trimmer. I laughed and told him he didn’t need that yet.”
“He explained nope, not for his face, he wanted it for downstairs. His older brothers both manscape and he wanted to as well. But they wouldn’t loan their trimmers.”
“I told him sure, I’d even buy it for him.”
But the mood turned sour back at home.
“Got home and wife was not impressed. She didn’t want him to have it. One excuse after the other. He’s not old enough. Sure he is. He didn’t need it yet. Ok, true, he’s not exactly taming a jungle, more like a small hedge, but if he wants to neaten things up, that’s fine by me.”
“I don’t want more hair all over their bathroom. Non-issue. The boys keep their bathroom clean. While Tanner and the oldest, Liam, are pretty smooth, middle boy Lucas somehow got the gorilla gene (he was Sasquatch at 14). If he’s not causing a problem, no one will.”
The OP continued:
“I told him he could keep the trimmer, but his wife seems pursed. I did remind him to keep the bathroom free of little hairs… get brothers to help/advise if needed, or me… and don’t make the mistake of going all Kojak below the belt. Liam made that mistake a couple of years ago. With much itching.”
“So AITA for disregarding my wife’s opinion?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors sided with the OP as “not the a**hole” (NTA) here.
“NTA. Your son wants to do it, and it’s harmless; it’s just hair.”
“It would be nice if your wife would come clean with the actual reason she’s opposed. Does she regularly inspect that area and wants it looking natural? If not, all of her stated reason are specious.” – extinct_diplodocus
“Totally Not The A**hole. So your son wants to be well groomed. What’s wrong with that? If both of his brothers do it, then your wife shouldn’t have a problem with it. Plus, he offered to buy with his own money. You’re just being a good father buying it for him.” – Both-Lettuce-1576
“NTA. That was a huge moment of trust in you as a parent. Don’t make this something that closes him down tomorrow.” – Nearly_Pointless
“NTA. Best he has his own trimmer for this, so he’s not borrowing someone else’s trimmer or razor behind their back, which wouldn’t be hygienic.” – AsparagusWTweak
“NTA. I’d ask your wife bluntly why she thinks she gets any say in what someone else does with their body hair. And for good measure, you could tell her if that’s her opinion that you think she should get a Brazilian wax because you think she should have one (or whatever is basically the opposite of what she personally wants to do with her body hair).”
“She’s being totally inappropriate in thinking she has any say in this whatsoever. You’re being a great and supportive parent, so kudos to you!” – Hufflepuffknitter80
“NTA but there’s something really weird and borderline creepy going on here.”
“Imagine if a mother had this conversation with her daughter and the father forbade it. That’s f’king weird and Reddit would be talking about calling CPS.”
“This situation needs that same level of intensity.” – Verdukians
“…What’s the issue here? As a woman I’m puzzled. Son or daughter, they’re their own person and their body and what they do to it is their own responsibility. I think I’d probably get angry if the bathroom is not cleaned after shaving or if I found my personal soap contaminated with pube hairs. Otherwise not sure why your issue’s an issue.”
“Even if the kid still has no pubes, it’s fine if he wanted to spend his money on thoughtless things as long as he didn’t ask me to cover for the actual important stuff because he can’t sort his priorities properly. That’s also a learning step, after all.”
“14 is hardly a toddler; he can make his own decisions. Plus, it’s your territory since you’re a dude, and he’s a dude. Dads should guide their sons, mums should guide their daughters, esp. when it comes to this kind of stuff.”
“Unless you were being a jerk when you were saying your stuffs, which obviously does make you TA, I don’t think the question should come up at all. That’s all. NTA.” – IndependentReview289
“NTA, but if wife’s reason is I don’t want more hair in the bathroom’- there’s a good chance that the boys don’t keep it as clean as you think. You should make 1000% sure that there are 0 pubes in that bathroom for your wife to clean up. I would be pretty mad if I were having to clean that up.” – Soggy_Yarn
“NTA. I started shaving my legs well before an ounce of hair came in. I also wore lipstick at 10. Bright bold wet m wild CHOCOLATE brown 😭.looked like glossy sh*t on my lips. No eyeliner. No foundation. I looked like a haunted doll, but you know what my mother didn’t do? She didn’t take away my self-exploration.”
“When my mosquito bites came in, I immediately got a training bra. The department store is white, with a triangle shape with no lining, but I felt POWERFUL. I felt sexy. I felt cool. I was 11. Lol.”
“It was important to be able to own my own body and self. These were all safe things that I did to explore myself and start taking steps into adult hood.”
“Your teens NEED to have these things. My mom guided me, you are guiding your sons. Mom can sit down and be quiet. Her desprate need to flex her c#nt in this power trip doesn’t belong.”
“Get him the trimmer. Tell him to be careful lol.” – anon
“NTA and your wife is being ridiculous, of course.”
“My son started manscaping at 14 also. I distinctly remember one ill-advised effort at 15 or so that can only be described as a little Charlie Chaplin mustache.”
“Fortunately he abandoned the idea of silly shapes in favor of just ‘keeping it tight.'”
“He wanted to start because the other boys on his swim team were doing it. He was not as enthused about shaving his whole body for swimming (well, everything not Speedo covered) because that meant the loss of his prized happy trail. Hey, it grows back.” – LawyerDad1981
Overall, Redditors thought the OP buying his son a beard trimmer was not a big deal as his wife was making it out to be, and they assumed her frustration came from a vulnerable place of seeing her sons growing up too fast.
However, the OP wasn’t finished. In an update, he wrote:
“Thanks everyone. I’m overwhelmed by all the comments; I only expected a few views/responses. I appreciate all who commented. I read them all even if I could not reply back to each.'”
“All’s good here. Last night I talked with my wife, as many theorized she is just wistful that the last baby bird is growing up (although all are still in the nest). She knows none of them will be little boys forever but she was (and is) such a good ‘boy mom’ that she’s missing those times already… and had a not-so-great reaction. That’s ALL there is to it. Thankfully.”
“As for Tanner, I went up to the oldest’s room where all three were hanging out (you never know where the posse of hooligans will be). Tanner said ‘Check it out!’ stood up and dropped his shorts in a flash.. and yep, the hedge clippers had been at work. I told him great job, looks good. He said ‘Liam had to do most of it.’ Liam shrugged. I’m very blessed that they all get along so well and that the older two are excellent big brothers (MOST of the time).”
“To a couple of ppl who DM’ed me, no, none of us are nudists or anything like that, LOL, but they are definitely those never-wear-shirts guys, and when getting ready to go out, you never know which one or ONES will be in the shower. The guys are just self-assured (maybe too much), and not a shy bone in their bodies.”
“Years ago, TWICE, my oldest (who had long hair then) went as Tarzan for Halloween. And my middle boy once went to a neighborhood costume contest as Michael Phelps in nothing but a Speedo and eight gold medals around his neck (and this was years after Phelps won).”
“They keep me young and make me very tired at the same time.”
“Thanks, everyone!”
We’re glad to hear they’ve smoothed things over.