Cancer sucks.
It has ruined far too many lives.
Who isn’t counting the days until there is a cure?
People run marathons and donate time and money to support the ‘cure cancer’ causes.
There are so many ways to help the fight.
But some ways may not feel like the best option for everyone.
Redditor Automatic_Public_357 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling people that I don’t want to cut my hair and it’s my choice?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“It’s pink October in my country next month, breast cancer awareness month, and for some reason, it seems like everyone is begging me to donate my hair to charity.”
“I have long, thin wavy voluminous hair and that’s the only thing I’m vain about: no makeup, fancy clothes, nothing.”
“First, it was my therapist, as I’ve previously stated I had already trimmed my hair last month, (and I barely wanted it to be honest).”
“I said I didn’t have the courage many times but she kept saying that it was only 10 c[entimeters].”
“She said that as the coordinator of the clinic herself, she was going to bring a hairdresser or she’d go with me to a salon.”
“Then at school, the social pressure from teachers, staff, classmates, everyone started.”
“Next week a hairdresser is coming to the school.”
“I’m ugly and insecure, and the only thing I get compliments for is my hair.”
“I’m not going to cut it despite the noble cause.”
“I can help them in other ways.”
“They’re begging me and saying that I’m obligated to donate since it’s not that much, but I don’t want to.”
“They say that I should donate in the name of everyone since it is so long.”
“I have a teacher that keeps repeating the same thing again and again cuz the project was her idea.”
“I’m taking longer and different routes to not see her.”
“They say, ‘The Poor kids don’t have the chance to choose, you have.'”
“I’ve met countless people who had/have cancer and only one of them cared about their hair.”
“To be honest I just wanna hide in a basement and come back on November 1st.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA if I skip school that day?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. You are in no way obligated to cut off your hair for charity.”
“If your therapist is pressuring you to do so, find a new therapist because that is not appropriate.”
“If you think that you are going to face undue pressure or even be possibly forced into cutting your hair I would stay home from school when the hairdresser will be there.” ~ CuriousEmphasis7698
“NTA. It is called a donation because it is something people do voluntarily.”
“It is disgusting that you are being pressured into it.”
“I would also try not to be in school when the hairdresser is there unless there is somebody with you to protect you from being forced to do something.” ~ Aivendil
“NTA. It’s very unprofessional for your therapist and your teacher to pressure you to do this.”
“Stop giving reasons no means no.”
“Just ignore them or walk away.” ~ I_luv_sloths
“My first thought: well obviously OP needs to fire their therapist.”
“My friend, you are absolutely NTA.
“Your therapist, teachers, and the rest are bullies for pressuring you to alter your appearance.”
“It’s strange how others feel so entitled to offer someone else’s money, time, or hair in this case, but would never do it themselves.”
“If they were so concerned about charitable wigs, they should donate money to the cause.”
“Absolutely skip school that day.”
“And maybe consider keeping your hair up so someone doesn’t ‘accidentally’ cut it.” ~ HighlyImprobable42
“Bullying is exactly the word that popped into my head when reading this.”
“OP is getting bullied into cutting her hair under the guise of charity.”
“I would call them out directly but that’s just me.”
“Definitely report the teacher and therapist.”
“Definitely do not cut your hair at all unless it is your idea and your choice 100% free of pressure from others.
“NTA in any way, shape, or form.” ~ GeekynGlorious
“Yes! This! Please wear it up so no one will ‘accidentally’ cut it.”
“I was thinking that too.”
“I would stay home.”
“I would also ask them how much hair they are planning on donating since they are so keen on the idea. NTA.” ~ trev4_a86
“I agree. I was also going to say to fire the therapist.”
“I’m one myself and we are trained not to even give direct advice let alone coerce someone to do something they don’t wanna do. NTA.” ~ MoonLover318
“All these points are the most important ones but one I haven’t seen is…”
“It is NOT just ’10 c[entimeters]!'”
“As someone (in my freaking 30s not a kid) who has donated her hair for kids with cancer wigs, you generally need 30 cms minimum to donate for wigs.”
“Also, even my old ass would not have cut off that much hair in normal times because I look like a moon face with short hair.”
“It just grew nearly to my butt during lockdowns in Covid and I wasn’t going out anywhere anyway so I grew it a bit more and donated a double length amount.”
“Now that I have to go in public again, personally would not either grow it that long (it was giving FLDS vibes) or cut it above my shoulders even if it’s just to donate.”
“Your hair is your hair and it’s your body, your choice.”
“Your self-perception and confidence are super important too, not just sick kid’s confidence.”
“And especially as a teenager where your mind is so fraught with worry about how others see you and if you’re cool or pretty or whatever else.”
“Sorry, you’re being mistreated like this by the grown-ups around you. NTA.” ~ GratificationNOW
“OMG! They all are breaking your boundaries and I would say people of power (like teachers) making this to a minor are clear abusers.”
“You are NTA, of course, and all those people are bullying you.”
“I’d make a formal complaint about it or ask my parents to make it.” ~ Trespassingw
“Breast cancer survivor here! NTA!”
“When I was bald from chemo I never once tried to guilt anyone into cutting their hair.”
“I had a gorgeous synthetic wig that I truly loved.”
“We don’t want anyone bullied or harassed into donating hair.”
“Keep your beautiful locks!!!!” ~ BlondDee1970
“NTA. I would 100% stay home from school on the hairdresser day.”
“Fake illness however you need to.” ~ Just_here2020
“Absolutely stay home but don’t feign illness.”
“Email the office to explain the exact reason why you aren’t going in.”
“You feel unsafe due to the pressure and bullying you’ve received and won’t be attending because you don’t trust the people who are supposed be be looking after you, not to coerce you into something you 100% do not want.”
“If you feel strong enough, you could also explain their behavior and ask what steps management is going to take to ensure this doesn’t happen again.” ~ sarnian-missy
“NTA. It’s awful that adults are attempting to guilt you into giving up bodily autonomy.”
“Plus there are many ways to be charitable besides donating hair.”
“If I were in that position, I would keep my hair, donate a few bucks, and tell the people pressuring me that I’ve already given to the cause.”
“Also, unless you and your therapist are working on some kind of exposure therapy for you regarding haircutting or getting more comfortable with your looks, this request is inappropriate of your therapists.”
“Because of the power dynamic that exists between therapist and client, therapists are not supposed to exert pressure on clients to support therapists’ own causes.”
“It can be hard to speak up, but telling the therapist how uncomfortable the pressure is should make them reflect on what’s appropriate.” ~ inkbond
“NTA- Tell them that you believe that a woman has the RIGHT to body autonomy!”
“No one has the right to tell you what to do with your body.”
“I also am like you.”
“I wasn’t allowed to have long hair when I was younger.”
“My mom was weird about it.”
“I am now 56 and people think I should cut it because I’m too old for long hair.”
“I say it’s my head.”
“I will keep it the way I want it, for as long as I want it.”
“It’s no one else’s business.”
“If people give you a hard time, especially that teacher, ask them to shave their heads in solidarity for the cancer patients who lost theirs.” ~ Labradawgz90
“NTA. Side tangent: I’m not sure about where you live, but where I live, the minimum donation is 10 inches, which is 25.4 centimeters.”
“I’m not sure how useful 10 centimeters is going to be, seeing as it’s just under 4 inches.”
“I digress though.”
“If your hair is what makes you feel confident and it is what makes you feel good about yourself, then you are under no obligation to lop it off.”
“Your therapist is being unbelievably unprofessional to suggest that you should get rid of something that makes you feel good about yourself.”
“If it was a one-time idle comment about serving others, and presented that as an option, then maybe you could let it go, but they offered to escort you to a hairdresser.”
“You should get a new therapist.”
“As for the teacher, if you told her no and she is harassing you like this, maybe snitch her out to the principal?”
“I typically don’t like or support tattletales, but sometimes it is necessary to protect yourself.”
“Once again, if it was a one-off comment, then it could be forgiven, but the fact that she is pressuring you to cut off something you love is incredibly unprofessional.”
“You should not live in fear of your teachers.”
“That is a sign of a bad teacher.”
“I don’t have quite the same amount of glorious hair you are describing (I wish my hair was like yours!), but I love my hair as well and try to take the best care of it.”
“If someone was trying to convince me to donate it, then I would lose it at them.”
“You are totally justified in your reaction.”
“Stand firm and don’t give in!” ~ purplegirl998
“NTA. They don’t get to dictate what you do with your hair, and it sounds more like jealousy rather than for a noble cause.”
“Plus, there’s nothing noble about bullying someone into cutting off their hair.”
“I bet you if the cancer patient that got it knew you were bullied, they’d be just as upset as you.” ~ upsetti_spaghetti23
“NTA – Would it be great to cut your hair and donate it?”
“Sure, but it is also fine to say no as well.”
“Here is what I would do, yes take that day off, but instead of hiding out, give yourself a treat and go enjoy a spa day just for you.”
“That would beat out sulking in your room.” ~ PumpkinPowerful3292
“NTA. Would your parents help you?”
“I would tell them, what your therapist and teacher have said and the pressure on you is inappropriate.”
“I would also skip the haircutting day at school.” ~ arcticfox_12
Well, young lady, Reddit is with you.
Your hair, your head… your rules.
How dare people bully you like this.
Yes, it’s a good cause but that doesn’t mean this is the only way you can help.
It sounds like it may be time to get your parents or guardians involved.
Stay strong and good luck.