Everyone has a different vision for what they would like the different special events of their lives to play out, especially their wedding day.
But sometimes people get so hung up on creating the perfect, aesthetic wedding day, they forget about what’s truly important, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Low_Savings6737 was touched when their sister invited their twin daughters to be her flower girls, but when she added that she wanted them to walk down the aisle with her dog, who terrified them, they knew it wasn’t going to work out.
But when their sister gave them an ultimatum, saying the girls could attend as flower girls or not at all, the Original Poster (OP) was at a loss for how their sister was handling the situation.
They asked the sub:
“AITAH for refusing to let my twin daughters walk down the aisle with my sister’s hyper chihuahua?”
The OP’s twin daughters were excited to be flower girls at their aunt’s wedding.
“My sister is getting married over MLK weekend, and she’s asked my five-year-old twin daughters to be part of the wedding as flower girls.”
“I was excited and so were the girls (she stupidly asked the girls before asking me and my wife).”
But as their sister shared more details, the OP became increasingly concerned.
“After the girls had gone to sleep, she casually mentioned that the girls would be walking down the aisle with Rambo, her fur baby (Chihuahua).”
“She said that she already got a little tuxedo for Rambo to wear.”
“Here’s the issue: my girls are terrified of Rambo. He’s hyper and is always barking at them has even snapped a few times (not biting, but enough to scare them).”
“One of the twins actually peed in her pants once when Rambo ‘was just trying to say hello.'”
The OP’s sister would hear none of their concerns.
“I tried to explain this to my sister, but she insists that Rambo is the most important part of her special day.”
“Now, she’s told me that if the girls won’t participate with Rambo then they can’t come to the wedding at all.”
“She says it’s her day, and promises that Rambo will be nice and that it will be so cute to see the girls dressed up with a ‘little man’ in a tuxedo.”
“I think this is unfair and unreasonable. My girls are five, scared of Rambo, and shouldn’t have to do something that terrifies them.”
“But she’s calling me unsupportive and claims I’m being selfish for not helping her ‘vision’ come to life.”
“AITAH for refusing to let my daughters walk down the aisle with Rambo?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some felt that the chihuahua’s involvement in the wedding was a recipe for disaster.
“Do NOT force your girls into being with an overexcited ill-behaved dog that might well bite them! Even if they weren’t already scared of him, this is a foreseeable disaster.”
“In fact, since your daughters are now uninvited, uninvite yourselves too, and take them someplace fun for the day. Tell your sister that it was your way of celebrating her special day.” – Teton2775
“I’d put it this way: would you rather be alone attending the wedding of a piece of s**t sister who doesn’t care if she traumatizes and possibly seriously injures your children? Or would you rather spend the day with your real family where people love and care about each other?”
“This is the perfect opportunity for family fun. Your daughters aren’t going, and they’re probably going to feel bad about that, so you should give them the great day they deserve.”
“PS. Screenshot all of your sisters’ wedding-related messages. I almost guarantee she’s going to make this your fault for ‘ruining HER day,’ so you’ll want receipts in case she tries to turn extended family against you.” – BlastBurne
“Tell your sister her ‘vision’ doesn’t jive with reality, wish her a lovely wedding day, and tell her that since your kids aren’t invited you won’t be coming either, since leaving two five-year-olds home alone makes about as much sense as bringing a reactive Chihuahua to a wedding.” – Whiteroses7252012
“NTA. And your sister isn’t really thinking this through, when her twin five-year-old nieces run away from the dog screaming in terror during the ceremony, it won’t be ‘cute.'” – Thistime232
“NTA. I would pull the whole family out of the wedding if this is the stupid yappy snappy hill your sister has chosen to die on. Take the kids somewhere fun and keep their minds off their unbelievably selfish aunt.” – pixie-ann
Others wanted to hold the groom’s hand while they pointed out what the bride said about her dog.
“The OP wrote, ‘She insists that Rambo is the most important part of her special day…'”
“I wonder how the groom would feel hearing that?”
“And Rambo wearing a tuxedo essentially makes the groom himself superfluous in the ceremony. He’s the ‘spare,’ because Rambo is gonna be running things as the real man of the house, while sister says, ‘He’s nice, he’s just playing… Stop making a big deal out of it, they are just small bites… Look, you’re not even bleeding hardly.'”
“Brother-in-law-to-be, you are in for an adventure with Rambo, First Blood…” – HowardBannister3
“The groom should maybe be concerned that he comes after the dog in his own wedding day…” – Slow_Sherbert_5181
“What does the groom think of the effing chihuahua being ‘the most important part of the day’!? That is some pitiful s**t.” – Mermaid467
“The ‘most important’ part of her WEDDING DAY is her dog. Not her fiancé, not sharing their love for one another with their family and friends.”
“I’m sorry OP, but even if your daughters weren’t afraid of Rambo, your sister still could do with reminding that she’s not marrying her dog (I hope) and she should have other priorities on this day in particular.”
“You are NTA. In my opinion, the only thing that would make you be is if you either a) forced your girls to do it; or b) attended without them if she disinvites them.” – SecksySequin
“I think that Sis has already answered your question, OP. Since ‘Rambo is the most important part of her special day,’ that stinkin’ dog can walk down the aisle by himself. She can feed him whole flower plants the day before, and he can crap out petals on his way.” – Final_Candidate_7603
“I feel like if he’s so important to her then Rambo should ‘give her away’ rather than make anyone else deal with him.” – ALostAmphibian
“Why not have Rambo walk down with one of the bridesmaids, and then she can hand the leash to a groomsman? Then he can stand with the other ‘men’ in tuxedos on the far side away from the girls? No one frightened, problem solved.” – Mmm_lemon_cakes
Some theorized that this was the bride’s way of getting the child-free wedding she wanted without having to look like a bridezilla.
“Is it a child-free wedding besides this? If not, she is basically threatening the children. If it is, she is basically threatening the children. Did she tell the kids the dog would be with them when she asked them before you?” – Mean_Muffin161
“Is it a child-free wedding? If so, it makes sense that the flower girls would be allowed to attend as an exception and the exception would be removed if they weren’t part of the wedding.”
“It sounds to me like she WANTS it to be child-free and this would be an easy way to remove your kids from her day without making herself look bad (even though this whole situation makes her look bad).” – stirritup
“NTA. Your kids’ safety comes first if your sister’s response is, ‘if they don’t do this, they can’t come.'”
“Well, find something for you and your family to do that day instead. Your sister is incredibly selfish.”
“My friend had something similar, but it was a family photo (grandparent, both sides, siblings, kids, and a few dogs and two cats; yeah, it was A LOT!). One kiddo was super afraid of one of the dogs, so he was put on his dad’s shoulders kind of to the side/behind his wife while she held their baby in the side baby wrap.”
“The kid was all smiles (and the babies slept). It’s a great photo! The cats are adventure cats so they love the outdoors and one of the dogs is theirs too.”
“NOT ONE PERSON THAT WAS THERE WAS UPSET THAT THAT KIDDO WAS AFRAID OF THE DOG! They worked it out so everyone was in the photo and no one was left out.”
“Your sister needs a lesson in kindness and humility.” – Sailing_Away123
“The dog’s name is Rambo… of course. I love the little beasts, but Chi’s are notoriously unstable and angry and without training, they’re worse.”
“You said, ‘One of the twins actually peed in her pants once when Rambo ‘was just trying to say hello.'”
“You know your child is terrified, why is participation even a question? You support the people who you create. Your children are on this earth because you made them. Their safety and comfort is your priority. Your sister is not.”
“Plus, ‘Now, she’s told me that if the girls won’t participate with Rambo then they can’t come to the wedding at all.'”
“I don’t think this is the threat she thinks it is! Five-year-old girls won’t find a wedding fun three minutes into getting their hair pulled and yanked into some wedding style, or when they’re walking down the aisle with hundreds of people staring at them (even without a psycho Chi snarling at their feet).”
“Weddings are boring. Receptions are tiring. OP, your sister just gave you a Get Out of Jail Free card!”
“Also, ‘she insists that Rambo is the most important part of her special day.'”
“Getting married isn’t the most important part of the special day? No matter what else happens or who is there, getting married is the goal. Sounds more like she wants a theatrical performance than to get hitched.” – Twisted_thistle
“The OP wrote, ‘But she’s calling me unsupportive and claims I’m being selfish for not helping her ‘vision’ come to life.”
“I’d be like, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way, sis, but obviously my greater duty here is as a parent. As smart as Rambo is, I don’t think he understands promises or wedding parties. And hey, it doesn’t matter, because he’s the most important part of of your special day anyway!'”
“Don’t fight her on the girls not attending the wedding. The fun part of being a flower girl is getting a fancy dress and lots of attention, so simply offer them a fantastic substitute.”
“Let them pick out beautiful dresses. If you’re lucky, you have a good thrift store near you, but either way, you won’t pay more than you would for the flower girl dresses. Add tiaras if they’re into that, or a sparkly necklace.”
“Tell them they will be wearing the dresses for a fantastic and fancy evening out with Mom and Dad, or better yet, send them an invitation. Let them choose a restaurant, even if it’s hilariously off-key like Sicily’s Pizza or Waffle House, lol (laughing out loud). Dress up to the nines yourselves. Make sure the car is washed and cleaned out.”
“If you can pull it off, have a friend help them get ready so you can ‘pick them up.’ Present them each with a lovely bouquet from the grocery store, and let them carry them to the restaurant. Or a basket filled with small flowers, that they can hand out to everyone they meet that night.”
“Have a ready explanation for when you are asked what is being celebrated. We just wanted our girls to have an evening as special as they are, or some such.”
“If the actual flower girl part is important to them, you can ask if they’d be the flower girls for your anniversary celebration (who cares when your anniversary is, at least for this situation), and everything else can be the same.”
“This could just as easily be bowling or a movie or a play, it doesn’t matter as long as you are getting dressed up and going out and making your girls the center of attention.” – teamglider
While the subReddit could understand having a vision for a special day, they hardly thought that scaring a pair of five-year-olds, and even putting the groom second to the beloved family dog, should be a part of anyone’s wedding day vision.
If the bride valued having the people who loved her most there to celebrate this milestone, she might want to rethink her aesthetic and focus more on the people around her.