Back before 9/11, flying in the United States was pretty much a free for all. What was and wasn’t allowed in the plane’s cabin was largely dependent on individual airports and airlines.
Want to have a hunting rifle as your carry-on? Sure, why not?
Now they are debates with TSA about whether peanut butter is a liquid, a paste, or a solid.
A traveler whose friend lost the let’s see what we can get past security lottery turned to the “Am I The A**Hole” (AITAH) subReddit—an alternative to AITA that allows users to post more than interpersonal conflicts—for feedback.
Odd-Recording-3026 asked:
“Friend was not allowed to board the flight, the rest of us still went on the vacation, now she wants us to pay her back. AITAH if I don’t pay her?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“Me and three friends planned a vacation to Hawaii. We booked the flight, hotel, and car together for a discount and then split the costs 4 ways, so we each paid roughly $800—we also booked a couple things to do there totaling around $250.”
“The day of the flight, we all arrive at the airport and start going through TSA. One of my friends, I call her Sarah, got stopped because she had a weed pen in her bag.”
“She says she just forgot it was in there and didn’t intentionally bring it, but it doesn’t really matter either way. TSA ended up calling airport PD and Sarah was not allowed to board the flight.”
“Weed is not legal in our state. She wasn’t arrested, but she was given a ticket and court date and not allowed through security.”
“Obviously, the rest of us still got on the plane because we’re looking forward to our vacation. Now we’re back and Sarah is mad at all of us for going and wants us to pay her back for her portion of things since she couldn’t go.”
“But I don’t think we should have to! Its not our fault she wasn’t allowed to fly and I didn’t budget for paying her portion as well.”
“I don’t travel often, so I don’t know how it works, but I assume she would have had to pay for another flight and wouldn’t have wanted to/couldn’t afford to do that.”
“She was also pretty pissed off at that point, we all received some more angry texts when our plane landed, so that could’ve contributed to her not even trying to board a later flight.”
“I will say, I don’t think she’s actually mad at us. I think she’s mad at herself and taking it out on us.”
“Which is not great, but it is out of character for her. I think the whole thing is just really frustrating for her so we’re giving her grace there.”
“She’s also mad because the airport is 1 hour from our home city and we didn’t give her the keys to the car, so she had to pay for an Uber home. We didn’t say she couldn’t have the keys, its just that no one thought to give her the keys to Matt’s car when it was all going down.”
“We didn’t know what all was going to happen and we were already through security and went to sit by our gate, so she was giving us updates over text.”
“By the time airport PD arrived and told her she wasn’t going on the flight, there wasn’t enough time to run back and give her the keys—we were starting to board.”
“TSA didn’t really tell her anything, they just had her sit and wait until PD finally arrived to talk to her which was about 25 minutes.”
“One of my friends says we should just pay her to keep the peace, but I don’t think we should have to. Matt also thinks we shouldn’t have to pay her.”
“If we split her costs three ways, it would be about $350 each. I could technically afford it, but I’m working on paying off my credit card and that’s about the same amount I put toward the credit card each month.”
“I’ve been working on paying this off for two years and will be free of credit card debt by the end of the year! I haven’t been on a vacation in years, so I saved up for it separately by picking up extra shifts and it was for Matt’s birthday.”
“So it would put me a month behind on my plan to pay off my last credit card. I was a little irresponsible in my early twenties.”
“AITAH if I refuse to pay her back?”
“And even if I’m not the a**hole, should I just do it anyway to keep the peace?”
Some Redditors weighed in with the voting codes from the AITA subReddit:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided this was a Sarah problem, not an OP problem.
“I used to work for an airline and I fly often. Usually an airline will try to accommodate passengers who miss flights (it happens) by rebooking them on another, and they may or may not have to pay a rebooking fee or charge difference, depending on circumstances.”
“If nothing else the airline will put the unused flight toward a future flight credit. Sarah may not have tried this, or it’s possible the airline banned her if they heard she was trying to fly with contraband.”
“You should ask her about it.” ~ Fit-Landscape548
“I wonder if security made her leave the airport? Either way, I’ve missed flights and the airlines just booked me on a later flight without any extra $$$.” ~ Krazzy4u
“She sounds kinda dumb. Probably just left without even trying to reschedule a flight.” ~ saveyboy
“Once in the early 2000s, I saw a woman eating a sandwich on the side of the TSA line. I told her it smelled good and too bad there was no food on the flight.”
“She sighed and handed me a baggie with a second sandwich. I stood next to her and ate it for her.”
“It was tuna. She said she was mad because they would not let her on the plane with ‘wet’ food.” ~ Pristine_Frame_2066
“Honestly, she’s probably asking for the money back after getting hit with the misdemeanor and fine for possession. That expensive.” ~ VioletReaver
“Sarah needs to learn actions have consequences! She’s also rather entitled to expect everyone else to pay for her mistake! NTA.” ~ Apart_Foundation1702
“So true! She wants everyone to pay for her stupidity/carelessness. Lesson to be learned for her. No one should pay for her.” ~ Personal_Pound8567
“There is that point pre-flight where you unpack your purse and repack it to (1) only carry what you need on your trip; (2) make sure you don’t have any contraband.”
“I can’t be the only one who does this, right? I mean, you have to collect your loose make up and lip gloss to be sure you don’t violate the liquids restriction.” ~ BitterDoGooder
“Seriously, people who have ‘accidentally’ packed so many things that you’d never want unsecured in the first place, tells me either they’re highly irresponsible and don’t have their guns, ammo, drugs secured EVER… or they 100% packed it on purpose and didn’t expect anyone to notice.” ~ Cannie_Flippington
“I accidentally went to the airport with a pocket knife once cuz it was like a hidden pocket within my purse that I forgot to check.”
“Small, folded pocket knife. They confiscated it of course. Actually they did give me the option that I could return to my car and put it away and then I’d have to go all through security again.”
“So I was like whatever you keep it. But I kept my spot in line and didn’t get in any kinda trouble for it.” ~ droppindollars
“Yeah, but pocket knives aren’t illegal, they’re just not allowed on the plane. Weed is actually iillegal federally and in the state the airport was in, so she can’t just have it back or have them confiscate it and then fly like nothing happened.” ~ Healthy_Brain5354
“It would be different if she got sick or was in an accident or had a family emergency and had to cancel. Then I’d see if I could help her get refunds/credits for the flight and the activities and split the accommodation cost with the other two friends.”
“But she brought this on herself, all by herself. Oh, no! Not the consequences of her own actions…”
“I wouldn’t give her a penny after she demanded it. She should have immediately started checking on getting the activities she signed up for canceled and getting a refund on her plane tickets.” ~ LakotaGrl
“NTA. She could have left security, went to the airline desk and changed her flight to later and tried again. It might have cost her $100 or so to change her flight, but she wouldn’t have missed out.”
“She decided to fly with ‘drugs’ in true f*ck around and find out fashion. This isn’t on you guys.”
“She made choices and then also decided not to do everything possible to fix her situation. Again, also not on you.” ~ catinnameonly
The OP provided an update.
“It would put me a month behind, so I would still pay my card off in December. While most people agree with me that we shouldn’t have to pay her anything, I am now leaning towards just paying it.”
“Her friendship is absolutely worth more than $350. And her reaction from all of this is out of character for her, I think her emotions are just heightened because the situation sucks.”
“The only thing holding me back now is, it seems from everyone’s comments that she absolutely could have gotten on a later flight. Why this didn’t happen I don’t know, going to ask her for the full story when I talk to her.”
It’s up to OP and their friends what they decide to do and whether Sarah’s friendship is worth $350.
But it’s also up to Sarah to decide if her friendships are worth less than demanding her friends cover her mistakes.