When people get into arguments one of the first things everyone is told to do is “be careful what you say.”
Words have consequences, and one can never take them back.
A meaningful “I’m sorry” helps but the memory often sticks.
It can be difficult to stay cool when tempers are flying.
That’s why deep breaths are suggested before speaking.
Redditor Charming_Eye_2631 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for calling my girlfriend a dumba** and taking away her key after she almost burned my house down?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My G[irl]F[riend] wanted a pizza.”
“I have really good frozen pizzas from the local Italian market.”
“They are made fresh, and if you do them up on a pizza stone, they come out perfect.”
“I have made these for us many times.”
“It is a simple process.”
“You take the pizza stone and put it in the oven let the oven preheat.”
“Put the pizza on the paddle and slide it onto the hot stone.”
“Once it’s ready you slide the paddle under the pizza and pull it out.”
“Put it on the carving board and cut it.”
“Easy, right?”
“Nope.”
“My pizza stone was dirty—it was scorched, not dirty—so her brilliant idea was to make the pizza on my plastic cutting board.”
“Because that way she could just take the cutting board out with oven mitts and cut the pizza without having to use all the tools.”
“I got home to see black smoke coming out of my house and my girlfriend on the phone with 911.”
“My dog is not on his leash, and he’s going crazy.”
“I go to the front door to see if it’s hot in the house or if I can see flames.”
“No flames, no heat.”
“I get to the stove and turn it off.”
“I open the sliding door to let out more smoke and get my leash on the way out.”
“The firefighters are there within five minutes, and the smoke is already dissipating.”
“They go in to make sure.”
“All clear.”
“Thank God they were there less than an hour.”
“It is covered by the city.”
“If it was over an hour, I would have been charged for the response.”
“My oven is f**ked, though.”
“And I have a lot of smoke damage to clean up.”
“I told my girlfriend I was glad she was okay but that she is a dumba** and she wasn’t allowed in my house alone for a while.”
“I took her key away.”
“We do not live together.”
“But she has roommates and likes having a big house to herself on her days off.”
“She says that it’s a mistake anyone could make and that I’m an a**hole for calling her names.”
“Yes, she said those words.”
“She says it’s my fault for not just getting microwave pizza and having to eat fancy.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – lol that she thinks this is a mistake a regular thinking adult would make… is she going to clean and pay for the damage?” ~ Kami_Sang
“Regular-thinking adults get forgiven when they help me replace my oven.”
“Until then, they’re a dumbass.” ~ Uncynical_Diogenes
“To be fair, I had a friend who had a girlfriend who did this place, and she couldn’t figure out why it was melting.”
“Like she saw the smoke coming out she saw the plastic thing melting, and she just went back out into the living room and didn’t say anything.”
“Because she apparently thought that’s how pizza cooked.”
“She was 25. And she did this twice.”
“She was the stupidest person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”
“Just no common sense whatsoever.” ~ Rough_Homework6913
“NTA. Normally I hate posts when people encourage a break-up, but trying to put a plastic board in the oven is such next-level dumb I would feel anxiety about all the other basic s**t I might have to explain, like does she know not to drink the toilet water, or the dog can not answer the telephone, etc.” ~ GoodPiexox
“Get a new oven.”
“The one you have is permanently damaged from the fumes the plastic releases.”
“Don’t continue to use it and risk poisoning yourself.”
“Consider if you really have a future with the GF.”
“I just… absent some external factors like ‘she was working insane hours and going on 3 hours of sleep for the last week,’ I just can’t understand how a 24-year-old can be so very, very stupid.”
“Calling her a ‘dumba**’ wasn’t nice, but if the situation and explanation are as you described in your post, NTA.” ~ LandPlatypus
“NTA. I don’t even know what to say; she needs to learn to be accountable for her actions.”
“If she wants quick microwaveable pizza, then she can go buy it.”
“Make sure your microwave has a warranty or something, though.” ~ ehnemar
“NTA. Unless you get serious with her.”
“I don’t cook, and I know better.”
“It’s not just the idiocy of plastic in the oven, it’s also her response to the situation that shows she can’t handle minor emergencies.”
“You can’t trust her in your house.”
“Would she have remembered to save your dog if there was a house fire?”
“It doesn’t sound like she has enough sense to be trusted with kids, or your finances, etc.”
“I worked with a very good engineer, smart, but her mom always told her to never have kids because she had zero common sense.”
“Her mom wanted grandkids too, but she knew better after a stupidity lapse caused the death of their puppy.”
“Seriously, consider your future and safety.”
“Next time you might be sleeping in the house, unaware of the potential fire.” ~ BAR12358
“Rethink this s**t.”
“If she’s this careless now, imagine how f**king careless she’ll be with your dog.”
“Another living, breathing, thing.”
“If her thought process is to ‘swap one thing for another’ without actually checking wtf she’s swapping, I’d always be wary around that person. 24.”
“Made it to 24 and can’t apologize for a mistake she made.”
“She’d rather blame you for her f**king up the pizza. F**k that. NTA.” ~ chewchoo_
“I believe her response was the biggest issue.”
“The fact that she did not take full responsibility for her actions is troublesome.”
“She should have apologized and offered to pay to replace your oven, which definitely needs replacing because of the toxins from the plastic.”
“I would also think she should clean up the smoke damage, but I don’t think I would want her at my house anymore because of her lack of accountability.” ~ Direct_Big3343
“I accidentally put a Pyrex dish with a plastic lid in the oven once.”
“The lid melted… but my partner and I had a laugh about it.”
“Your girlfriend didn’t apologize for what she did or offer to pay for the damage. NTA.” ~. RowyAus
“Yeah, it’s what happened after the plastic ended up in the oven that’s the real issue because despite what most of the other commenters are saying, mistakes do happen.”
“Name-calling on both sides is out of line but the fact she wasn’t apologizing and offering to make it right it’s understandable. NTA.” ~ OneMoreCookie
“NTA. I can understand having a brain fart that leads to the plastic cutting board in the oven, but not doing it deliberately.”
“Protect your home from someone this dense.” ~ verminiusrex
“You shouldn’t have called her names, but I understand why you did.”
“My husband put a paper plate in the toaster oven.”
“I write detailed instructions on how to heat dog meals when I leave town once a year.”
“He still does things I didn’t anticipate.”
“He doesn’t cook and has no concept of kitchen safety.”
“He is brilliant in financial matters.”
“Is this a deal-breaker for you?”
“If not, you have to make amends for hurt feelings. NTA.” ~ coralcoast21
“Although you shouldn’t have called her names, you’re NTA.”
“It’s insane for her to make a mistake like that and not take ownership.”
“Is she spacey?”
“This is a pretty crazy mistake to make.”
“Does she know not to put water on a grease fire???”
“I’d always be worried about leaving her alone. What basic things does she not know??” ~ abba-zabba88
“Wait so she’s blaming you for making a mistake that she made because she didn’t follow your instructions?”
“A fire that big is a serious thing.”
“Did she not smell the chemical smell of the plastic board?”
“Why didn’t she immediately turn off the oven if something was happening before calling 911?”
“NTA. Taking away the key should be the least of her concerns.”
“I would’ve broken up with them if they tried to blame me for something they did.”
“She almost burned your house down and could’ve killed your dog.” ~ SilverRoseBlade
“NTA. She’s 24 and should have a modicum of common sense by now.”
“This is not a mistake most people would make.”
“I’d also get an invoice for the damages and explain she needs to work on paying that back since she made the mistake.”
“Do you really want to build a future with someone who’s not only dumb enough to put plastic in the oven but too dumb to turn the oven off and fix her mistake?”
“She literally saw the first hints of smoke and ran outside to call 911 instead of turning it off.”
“What’s the next thing you’ll have to discover she doesn’t know.”
“I’d be afraid that if you guys ever progressed to kids she’d end up killing them from lack of common sense.” ~ Silaquix
“NTA. Not only did she put plastic in the oven, she…”
“Panicked and didn’t try to minimize damage by turning off the oven.”
“Panicked and didn’t leash the dog”
“Refused to take accountability and claimed it was an innocent action that ‘could happen to anybody.'” ~ RonStopable88
“NTA. Her attitude and response make her a total AH.”
“Thank God your dog was OK and she didn’t burn the place to the ground. Dump her dumb a**.” ~ Any-Split3724
“NTA. Instead of being apologetic, she doubles down and blames you for your pizza choice.”
“Ditch her. That’s a major red flag.” ~ Illustrious_Soft_257
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You have a lot to think about.
Thank goodness nobody was injured, especially your dog.
You will probably need to have a serious chat sooner than later.
Good luck.