Everyone loves a kind gesture every now and then, especially when they’re having a rough day.
Actually, maybe the just recipient loves the kind gesture.
At least that’s what one Redditor is experiencing after setting off her girlfriend’s coworkers by having coffee delivered a few times a week, so she turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor Autistic_Tap_5622 posted:
“Ive been sending my girlfriend Starbucks delivery every couple of days and it started to cause issues at her work.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m 28/F[emale} and my girlfriend is 27”
“My girlfriend is extremely picky with her coffee, she hates hot coffee or coffee without a sh*t ton of milk.”
“Both me and my girlfriend have separate finances.”
“Whenever my girlfriend texts me that her day is boring or stressful I will uber eats Starbucks to her work so she has a coffee and a cake pop.”
“It’s something I can afford to do and she absolutely loves whenever I surprise her at work with a sweet treat.”
“I’ve been doing it for the past couple of months with no issue.”
“A few days ago my girlfriend came home and told me she absolutely loves Starbucks and doesn’t want me to stop, but that some of the other women have started to kick up a fuss over it, and from what my girlfriend was able to gather, the woman think my girlfriend is rubbing it in their face that she gets treated to a nice drink every few days.”
“It’s started to cause some issues in the break room due to some of the women being incredibly jealous.”
“I’m wondering if I stop for a while or continue doing it?”
Redditors weighed in on the situation, and many urged OP to continue with her kind gesture.
“Don’t stop.”
“These women are clearly jealous, but I find it alarming that they feel the need to make your girlfriend feel bad about… if I was in their spot, would I be jealous?”
“Yeah probably.”
“But you’d never ever catch me making her feel bad! That’s ridiculous.”
“She’s lucky to have such a sweet gf!”
“Unless it’s the higher ups giving her a hassle I don’t see a reason to stop.”
“Let them be pissed off.” – angelgirlbella
“‘I love my girlfriend and I enjoy treating her and show her how much I love her.'”
“‘But the other women are jealous their boyfriend doesn’t do the same or that they are jealous.'”
“You’re doing perfectly right by your girlfriend, IT IS THE OTHER WOMEN WHO HAVE ISSUES.”
“Their boyfriends don’t treat them the way you do, or they’re jealous.”
“Why should your girlfriend do without?” – fattestshark94
“What on earth?!”
“It’s actually crazy other women getting mad at the sight of another woman being treated by her boyfriend.”
“If they think it’s being rubbed in their face it’s because they envy something they don’t have – nothing to do with you or your girlfriend and no reason to stop…and if you did stop it would open up catty comments along the lines of ‘well that didn’t last long did it.'”
“They sound perpetually miserable, and honestly your gf should be finding humour in it” – Ok-Comfortable4156
“NTA. If they are jealous, that is their problem, not hers.”
“If they make an issue of it, she should go to HR and that will stop.”
“Neither of you have done anything wrong.” – Con4America
“Never stop. F**k those bitter old crones.”
“Treat her right.” – Constant_Season_867
“Why would you want to punish your gf and deprive her of something she enjoys because of some stupidly jealous co-workers?”
“They can either ask their SOs to do the same or order it themselves.”
“Why is it that some people equate not getting something with depriving someone else that has it?”
“Ignore them and tell her to do the same. NTA” – Lay-ZFair
“No, continue doing it.”
“You’re thinking of your girlfriend and making her day brighter with your thoughtfulness.”
“Don’t let a couple of jealous weirdos stop you from being an excellent partner.”
“It’s not your fault or your girlfriend’s that they don’t have caring partners to send them snacks at work.”
“Your girlfriend drinking her coffee and eating her cake pop in peace isn’t rubbing it in anyone’s face, they’re creating drama because they need the dopamine rush and that’s all it is.”
“Have her talk to HR about it, and then send MORE sweet treats.”
“Let them seethe.” – Rude_Recipe4901
“I get my girlfriend Starbucks once a week.”
“She loves it, and yes, her co-workers get jealous.”
“We both don’t care that they feel that way.”
“They can ask their boyfriends to do the same or find one that does 😂” – WubzZugs
“So my girlfriend packs my lunch for me every day before work.”
“It’s usually meat, a few snacks, some fruit, and other stuff like that.”
“The guys I work with get jealous because they are cavemen who live on microwaved TV dinners because they are all single.”
“I am not going to tell my girlfriend to stop packing me lunch because some bozos can’t get a nice partner.”
“Keep buying your girlfriend coffee if it makes her happy.”
“F**k her coworkers” – bush_wrangler
Others advised OP to consult with her girlfriend before sending any more treats.
“Leave that up to your girlfriend.”
“If you want to keep sending her coffees, then it’s up to her if she wants to deal with the jealous office b*tches or not.”
“NTA.” – peakpenguins
“this is a decision for your gf to make.”
“it’s weird to me that you would ask Reddit what would be best for your gf instead of asking her.”
“I’m not trying to be mean I swear it just seems like the equivalent of typing ‘what does my gf want to eat for dinner’ into google.” – Common_Incident7777
“Just keep making sure she wants you to do it, tell her to let you know if you need to cool it off.”
“Sounds like she doesn’t love her workplace, so good on you for boosting her day!” – Remarkable-Rush-9085
“Your intention is thoughtful, but it’s worth prioritizing her comfort and peace at work.” – lovelydaisyglow
“GF’s call. You’re overthinking.” – gdubh
“My wonderful wife brings me fountain pops like 2 days a week when she has appointments by my office or sometimes just because.”
“I take our kids to daycare in the morning, and it’s just too difficult to wrangle them and get a fountain pop on the way to work, and there are literally zero places open with fountain pop from the daycare to my work…”
“So she hooks me up when she can.”
“My office makes snarky comments, and some of the guys get a bit of an attitude about it.”
“It’s jealousy… They wish their significant others would bring them stuff.”
“But also, sometimes i’m slammed and order like delivery for lunch, they also get their panties in a twist from that.”
“Some people will always want something they don’t have and will get mad at those that have it…”
“I tend to just let them be, and not the type of person I hang out with in my free time anyway.”
“But yeah, she should be able to choose what’s up. Whether she wants to deal with the petty nonsense or lack of sweet treats lol.” – McTastic07
Many also wondered if perhaps OP’s girlfriend brought attention to the frequent deliveries.
“You might not like to hear this but… it’s entirely possible your gf is oblivious to how much she may be bragging, which could be what is breeding resentment.”
“You’re never gonna get the truth from her if that’s the case and you’re not gonna speak to her coworkers but I wouldn’t assume anything of anyone involved.”
“I say this because Starbucks delivery is such a nothing thing that it would be weird for a whole group of women to suddenly start getting jealous of a 10-dollar drink.” – Reddit user
“Does she brag? Make a big deal about it?” – OkManufacturer767
“NTA – I’m always amazed when people can’t act like adults at work.”
“One caveat that isn’t on you.”
“If she works in a controlled access building, has to involve others to get the delivery person access or whatever or makes a big deal out of it, she could be the a**hole if it’s happening multiple times a week, but that’s on her, not you.” – Makira7577
And many thought OP should continue with the deliveries, but maybe she should slow it down a bit.
“NTA, but it’s all about that balance, right?”
“Maybe keep the treat train rolling but less often?”
“Switch up the delivery times or pick days when it won’t stir the pot.”
“Jealousy at work is real, but shouldn’t spoil your cute gesture!” – VelvetWhimsyy
“Your gestures of kindness are coming from a place of love and wanting to make your girlfriend’s day a little brighter, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“However, I understand that workplace dynamics can sometimes create tensions, and it’s unfortunate that some coworkers are making it an issue.” – lovelydaisyglow
Well, it sounds like OP carefully considered Redditors’ comments as she later updated her post.
“EDIT: I will chat with my girlfriend when she gets home about if she feels comfortable still having her treats or if I should stop.”
“Thanks for the help”