There is a lot of pressure for the best man to give an inspirational speech during a wedding toast.
But unless he is heavily intoxicated, how hard can it be for the best man not to sabotage his highly anticipated toast?
Redditor CaregiverHuge1686 – a 30-year-old male and designated best man – reacted emotionally to a sequence of events that led to a speech the newly married couple will, unfortunately, remember forever.
He later visited “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA telling the truth in the wedding toast?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m a 30 year old male and my best friend got married last week. I just bought a house and my wife is expecting out son in November, so I let him know I was limited in what I could contribute financially, but did tell him I would try my best.”
“So, I went to the bachelor party in Maine, I rented the tux, and paid for mine and my wife’s dinner at the rehearsal dinner.”
“I also had a gift of $300 that I was going to give them, but we will get to why I didn’t give it to them.”
“His (now wife, then fiance) texted me multiple times a day with updates–fine. I didn’t always respond and it got to the point where if I didn’t respond at LEAST once a day, I’d get a call from my buddy.”
“(I have a full time job and am redoing some rooms in my house, so I’m busy.) She texted me for the following reasons:”
“My wife was NOT allowed to talk about our pregnancy, at all. She didn’t want anyone to focus on that more than her, the bride.”
“She was NOT going to order special food for my wife (no one asked her to, my wife was fine with whatever she was going to be served.)”
“I was not helping the groom enough, he had to help her with favors, seating charts and programs, so I had to help him with those things, according to her. She also said to get ready to help with thank you notes after the wedding.”
“She said if I was a true best man, I would offer to pay for the bar bill. I don’t even know what that means.”
“She had to pre-approve my speech before the rehearsal dinner and wanted to be included as much, as my buddy.”
“She told me to make up things if I had to. I was also NOT allowed to include anyone but the two of them and no inside jokes or stories about my buddy that didn’t include her.”
“Her last text said to tell my wife to keep it together and not make a pregnancy scene during the wedding. Also, she wanted her to choose a dress that downplayed her pregnancy as much as possible.”
“I was just so aggravated, I spoke to my friend to see if he could reason with her. He told me to just play ball on this one, it’s her day and to cut him a break, because he’d be dealing with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I was annoyed but calmed down.”
“The day of, all the bride and my buddy do is scold me, berate me and bark orders.”
“I head down to the bar for the a drink…the bride’s mother is there and warns me not to get drunk because I’ve ruined her daughter’s day enough. Final straw.”
“I didn’t give them the card with the cash and in the speech, I used my friend’s exact wording about having to deal with her nonsense for the rest of his life.”
“I wished them the best and told him I’d always be there for him, especially during the divorce. AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors said everyone sucks here.
“ESH- here’s why:”
“Groom knew he was marrying a piece of work and instead of protecting his interests he cosigned, aided, and abetted his wife’s atrocious behavior.”
“His wife sucks for trying to regulate your wife’s body, for allowing her insecurities to cloud her judgement, and being the very definition of a bridezilla.”
“You, for not taking the high road and waiting until the very last min to defend your wife’s honor.”
“Look dude, you were totally justified, but you also had ample opportunity to jump off the crazy train before it got this far. Being a good friend means having the comfortability and latitude to say no when your friends are off the rails.”
“You waited until the last min and let your emotions get the better of you. Your wife deserved better from these people and from you in this moment.”
“P.S. Get new friends, these people suck HARD. CORE.”
“ESH but applauding OP quietly so not to draw attention to the fact that I’m pregnant. I don’t want to ruin his post.” – lotsofcache
“I think you’re missing a piece here. From what I gather, dude was trying to go along with all this unbelievable bullsh*t because he was trying to be a supportive friend.”
“Then he reached that point of ‘Ok, you know what? F’k this, actually.'”
“We’ve all reached that point somewhere in our lives and made a**es of ourselves. But this guy was 100% justified in burning this friendship to the ground by the point of the toast, and he salted the f’king earth in the process.”
“I’m sorry, but I gotta respect that.” – MysteryDildoBandit
“Yes, he reached that point, but what he did impacted everyone that was present.”
“He wasn’t just being petty to bride and groom, he was being an AH and making a scene that impacts everyone present. ESH” – johnny9k
“OP can’t have been the only one on the receiving end of the bride and groom’s BS, so he likely said what others were thinking…”
“Oh to be a fly on the wall of that reception…” – timetravelingkitty
“This is a very good example of ‘ESH but OP was completely justified’ 😂” – knittedjedi
“ESH indeed. Don’t forget to include the bride’s mom, as well, for allowing her daughter to act like such a bridezilla and for accusing OP of ‘ruining’ her daughter’s day ‘enough already.'” – SayerSong
“ESH But listen.”
“You are my hero.”
“Also be aware that your friendship might be over if not for any other reason than that the new wifey will make it so.” – talkmemetome
“From the title alone, I was prepared to think you were the AH…through the bridezilla bits I was thinking yikes, they are the AH…and by the time I got to the end I was a firm ESH.”
“I don’t blame you for not giving the card. They treated you horribly and did not deserve the generous gift you were prepared to give.”
“But I think being ‘honest’ in the speech took it too far. You would have been better off just cutting it super short (‘words can’t even describe these two…so let’s raise a glass’ the end).”
“I don’t think your speech was too much because of how it impacted them but because of their families.”
“Maybe their families suck as much as them (they had to get their ridiculous entitlement somewhere), but I’d be horrified to witness a best man speech like you described if I were a guest at a wedding.” – poodle_kitten
Some Redditors either applauded the OP for his brutally honest speech or designated him as the a**hole for not taking the high road and refusing to back out of his wedding duties before things went south.
But a strong majority saw everyone culpable for their part in the drama.