A woman claimed she and her sister were always close except for the fact that a personality clash occasionally gets in the way.
When one of them went into labor, the exciting moment, unfortunately, turned into a dramatic one and now they’re no longer on speaking terms.
Maybe because it was a “ruff” situation?
She visited the “Am I the A**hole?'” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor Traditional_Honey19 asked:
“AITA For ‘Failing’ To Take Care of My Sisters Dog While She Was In Labor”
The original poster (OP) asked:
“I’m 21 F[female], and my older sister (25 F[female]) and I have always been close, but we tend to clash because she’s a perfectionist and gets hostile when things don’t go her way.”
“One night, she called to say she was going into labor and asked me to watch her puppy. I agreed, and she gave me detailed instructions, including putting the dog in a safety harness when taking him outside.”
“Later, I took the dog out and brought him back in, but I hadn’t fully taken off his harness when he ran toward the living room where my mom was on FaceTime with my sister’s boyfriend. I finished taking the harness off, but minutes later, I got angry texts from my sister accusing me of mistreating her dog because he was still in the harness for a few extra minutes.”
“Her boyfriend had seen it on the FaceTime call and told her. She then called, yelling that I was lazy and unreliable, and told me and my mom to leave her house immediately. She even said we wouldn’t meet the baby until we earned her trust back.”
The OP continued:
“At 2 AM, we left, and I asked her boyfriend what was going on when he arrived. He just brushed me off, saying, ‘We’re having a kid, you don’t get an explanation.’ I spent the night comforting my mom, who was really upset, thinking she might not see her grandchild.”
“The next day, my sister called to apologize and blamed her reaction on stress and hormones. She invited us over to meet the baby, so we went. The visit was fine, but afterward, she asked why I seemed quiet.”
“I calmly told her how hurt I was after being kicked out, insulted, and threatened. I explained that the situation left a lasting negative memory for everyone—her boyfriend missed moments at the hospital, my mom was devastated, and now her in-laws probably think we can’t handle helping her. I just wanted her to acknowledge my feelings.”
“Instead, she got defensive again, saying she stood by everything she said and that I was disgusting for trying to put a dark cloud over her baby’s birth. She then asked me to leave, which I did.”
“We haven’t spoken since, and while I understand she’s under a lot of stress, I’m left wondering if I’m wrong for wanting my feelings to be acknowledged.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
‘Her boyfriend had seen it on the FaceTime call and told her.’
“Why would somebody bother a woman who is giving birth with such trivia? I suspect the boyfriend is trying to isolate her from her family.” – bythebrook88
“But also, why would a woman in labor care? And a puppy being in a harness is hardly abuse. Out trainer had us have the dog wear the harness a few times to get used to it before even using the leash. NTA.” – SuspiciousZombie788
‘But also, why would a woman in labor care?’
“My thoughts exactly. I was in labor about two weeks ago give or take and all I could focus on was ‘oh god there’s a bowling ball trying to force its way out of my vagina’. You could’ve told me my house burned down and if I even managed to process what you said I would have probably said I had bigger things to worry about at current.” – Gregthepigeon
“Sounds like older sister isn’t prepared to accept she made a mistake to her younger sister. No way of telling why she has a problem, but I pity a parent who ostracizes free childcare at birth.”
“I’m not going to judge the older sister’s boyfriend, though. Maybe he should have kept it to himself, but if asked, he absolutely should have his partner’s back and tell her what is going on.”
“And if he’s some sort of evil genius and worked out that this would get him home where he could get some sleep, then I respect his abilities even if I deplore his morals.”
“NTA. I’d personally not connect again until the older sister became reasonable, but then I’m barely talking to my own sister, so maybe you don’t want to take my advice on this.” – Chrestomancy
‘Sounds like older sister isn’t prepared to accept she made a mistake to her younger sister.’
“Or as a new parent who was already prone to perfectionism, she might not want to admit she’s capable of making mistakes to herself because she’s terrified of not being perfect for her baby.”
“OP told her she spoiled the birth experience for everyone, and possibly an overtired, hormonal, anxious perfectionist could spiral from that to worrying she’s going to ruin everything else in her child’s life too and freak out.”
“(still not justification for lashing out though, ofc)” – pocketfullofdragons
“NTA. Don’t let her institute a norm where she gets to use you as a punching bag and you just pretend it’s ok because reasons. It’s absolutely not ok. I don’t buy that having a kid is a free ticket to be an asshole without consequences.”
“If momentary stress causes an unfortunate outburst there is a remedy for that: A sincere apology and assurance that it won’t happen again. If you don’t get that, I’d keep my distance if I were you. It’s not difficult to predict what you are going to be subjected to if she is allowed to get away with this behavior.” – NotThisAgain234
“To piggyback on this, if OP rolls over this time with being berated for not ‘perfectly’ watching the puppy, imagine what happens when sister drops baby on OP and OP blinks her eyes one too many times in front of the baby smh.” – AmbitiousAd560
“OP is NTA. Just think when your sister asks you to babysit or dog-sit for several hours, an evening or a weekend, you can get out of the obligation because she won’t trust you.”
“In my opinion, even if she apologizes because she’s desperate, I would still refuse to help her for as many months as it takes to get an apology. You are officially non-obligated.” – AgeLower1081
“Your sister does not get to blame hormones on this, she’s just acting like a mean and controlling person. She can find someone else to dog sit and potentially baby sit if she cannot apologize.”
“NTA.” – CaliforniaJade
“Your sister is delusional and I can’t help but laugh at this…..maybe because of my own experience. I got admitted to the hospital at 30 weeks pregnant. My kidneys were failing, liver failing, blood pressure was 298/199, and my vision was going black. Doc said time to get baby out now! Emergency c section cuz I have spine issues and they didn’t trust an epidural.”
“When I woke up, my mom was on the phone with my husband. He was trying to be discreet but I knew something was up. So he handed me the phone. I had two dogs. One was scheduled to get fixed the same day I had the baby. As my parents were taking her to the vet, my other dog knew something was wrong.”
“She dug out of the backyard. She had never done this before. She was missed for the first 48 hours my kiddo was alive and I found out about it as soon as I woke from surgery. (She was later turned into the local shelter and we got her back before I even left the hospital).”
“Doc said I was too sick to see my brand new baby on the day of his birth and I only got pictures from everyone that was able to see him in the NICU. On top of that, I only have one good vein which was used for the IV and they kept having to do some tests that took blood, resulting in poking me many places trying to find a good vein.”
“This was done every two hours. When they came to get blood they also had to cut my finger to get ten drops of blood in a vial for another test. I was literally a pin cushion. I was devasted with everything piled on.”
“I never once blamed my parents for losing my dog or blamed anyone for anything for that matter. I knew emotions were high and just cried. The lab even messed up. They took my blood then about twenty minutes later they sent another tech saying it was time again. I said already they just took it twenty minutes ago? I let him take it again but just cried.”
“Apparently he told the doc and doc finally said you’re clear to go see baby. I met him 25 hours after birth. Everything was fine. But I never yelled or freaked out on anyone. I guess that’s why freaking out about a dog having a harness on for two extra minutes than usual is freaking hilarious to me. I know everyone has different breaking points and reactions but that was a major overreaction.” – SeaGoatGamerGirl
Overall, Redditors thought the sister was in the wrong for her behavior and that it had nothing to do with hormones but more to do with being overly dramatic and nitpicky.
They also thought the boyfriend mentioning the dog’s harness while the sister was actively in labor was in particularly poor taste.