Ah, baby names…
They’re almost as fraught with drama as weddings.
Family members demanding to be a namesake. Everyone—including complete strangers—having an opinion they aren’t afraid to share.
And some parents deciding to take creativity to a whole new level.
A friend dealing with baby name fallout turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
ChantDecliner asked:
“AITA for laughing when my friend told me the baby name they picked?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My best friend (I will call her K) is pregnant, and we’ve been friends forever, like since middle school. We’ve been talking about baby names for weeks, just throwing out ideas for fun.”
“She even joked about some really insane names, and we laughed about how some people pick the most cringe stuff. So I thought we were on the same page about what was reasonable.”
“Fast forward to a few days ago, K tells me they finally picked a name. And it’s something straight out of Genshin Impact or Skyrim.”
“Not the real name, but think Zephyr Rocket or Banjo Fox. I honestly thought she was messing with me, so I laughed.”
“Not like a mean laugh, just a genuine reaction like… wait.. shut up, what is the real name?”
“But nope. That was the real name. She got super quiet and was like, that is the name.”
“I could tell immediately I messed up, so I tried to backpedal, but she looked kinda hurt and changed the subject. Later, a mutual friend told me she was upset and thought I was being rude.”
“Now, the real tea is that she had a small get together with our friend group and didn’t invite me. Like, literally everyone else was there.”
“I found out after the fact, and its hard not to feel like it’s because of the baby name thing.”
“I really didn’t mean to be rude, I just genuinely thought she was joking based on our past convos.”
“AITA for laughing?”
“Or is she overreacting? This is my best friend.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I think that I was an a**hole because I laughed at my friend’s baby name. Her serious name that she wanted to name a child!”
“We were talking about baby names for weeks, so I thought it was a joke, but she was serious. She stopped talking to me as much and didn’t invite me to the weekly hangout.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – more INFOrmation needed before judgment
Most Redditors voted that everyone sucked in this situation (ESH).
“ESH. NTA for laughing initially, but you are for backpedaling and apologizing. Why not just tell the truth?”
“She’s the a**hole for her complete lack of consideration that her kid is going to have to deal with a dumb name for life (or at least until they can change it). That poor kid is destined for a life in your friend’s basement.”
“She’s also the a**hole for not being an adult and telling you her feelings were hurt.”
“You would be a good friend if you shared your opinion (in love) on such a horrible name. She may not be your friend after that, but maybe you will have saved another human from a lifetime of bullying.” ~ Basilsainttsadface
“You need to talk to her about it, not us. ESH, I guess, because you’re not in middle school anymore—talk it out like adults. Directly, not through other people.” ~ notrightmeowthx
“ESH. It would be interesting to know your cultural background because before I moved to another country, there were several things I would think were ‘weird’ names, but after, I just learned to accept the culture and the so-called weird names that came with it.” ~ VasuviusTytus
“ESH, but don’t name your kid something asinine if you don’t want to hear negative feedback. You’re naming an adult, that will eventually have a job.”
“People laughing is going to happen, but you messed up there after she told you she’d picked the name. And this is coming from someone that gets the urge to giggle or eye roll at least several times a day from seeing people’s names at my job.” ~ AddressPowerful516
But as far as other responses, they were a bit all over the place.
“Whyyyy is this a thing‽‽ I knew two girls in school who were named after their dad’s exes, and I always thought it was the creepiest thing ever.”
“It’d be one thing if the name were also a family name, and it was just a coincidence. But… NOPE. Straight up named after the exes.”
“As far as OP’s question, I’d label it an ‘info’ to know the real name as it could just be OP’s personal taste that makes it stupid.”
“Zephyr is a legit name in a few languages; I know one who is cool and loves his name. Banjo on the other hand… eff no.” ~ hollywoodbambi
“Sometimes being a good friend means being honest about things, even when it’s difficult or may hurt someone’s feelings.”
“If that was your reaction as a close friend, it’s going to be many other people’s reactions as her child is growing up, and no one wants their child to have to constantly explain their name or have to put up with teasing or bullying.”
“Yeah, kids will always manage to find something to tease another child about, and name fashions change all the time, but adults are going to judge your child and their parents, too, by what you choose to name them.”
“This is how they will be known for their whole life (barring changing it by deed poll as soon as they are old enough) and will be the first impression everyone has of them, whoever they turn out to be.”
“I saw someone on one of the name groups on here suggest once that a parent spent a day answering the phone and introducing themselves to other people using the name they chose so they could judge how people reacted up close.”
“It’s a very good suggestion.”
“I think that after your friend has cooled down from being embarrassed by your reaction, OP, that you will find that they are able to set this aside and maybe reassess their choice, too.”
“If this is all it takes to destroy a friendship then perhaps you weren’t such good friends after all…. NTA, tho it’s not always the best response to laugh at someone’s choices unless you’re sure they’re joking!” ~ the_esjay
“INFO. If you don’t actually tell us the name, I don’t feel like I can actually judge.”
“If your examples are accurate, then sure, but all your examples show us is that you think the name she picked is comparable to those examples.”
“How can I judge whether that comparison is reasonable if I don’t know what is being compared?” ~ BigBigBigTree
“I mean she told you she picked the name, so… But I can see how an exotic name would then lend a possible ironic context and lead you to believe it was in jest. NAH.” ~ Possible_Tiger_5125
“More people need to be checked on ridiculous baby names. I get that in the grand scheme of things a) all names are ‘made up’ and b) just because a name is ‘traditional’ and commonly used doesn’t mean people can’t go off the beaten path.”
“But surely there is some sort of happy medium that can be reached where people don’t have to pick John, or Bob, or Mary or whatever, but also don’t have to go with the ‘guaranteed to be teased for life’ name like, say, Pilot Inspecktor, or Khaleesi.”
“OR going so far to make their kid ‘unique’. Your unique name will likely not have the effect that you intend.”
“People who aren’t typically ‘creative’ should not be trying to exercise a muscle they don’t have by saddling their kid with a ridiculous name. They don’t seem to realize that the kid will have to live with this name.”
“Further, people should also face the fact that traditional names—those families where ‘Every firstborn son must be named Bort!’—serve little purpose other than pinning an old embarrassing name that, again, a kid will have to live with.
“Anyway, NTA.” ~ SoImaRedditUserNow
“YTA for not actually telling us the name.” ~ No_Quantity3097
“NAH. You hurt her feelings, you can sincerely apologize for hurting her feelings, you genuinely thought she was joking again because that’s what she had been doing up until that point, but you love original names, and let her know you fully support any name she picks, then leave it there.”
“Let her be hurt or mad or feel however she feels. She left you out on purpose. Give her some space. All you can control is your response; don’t make it at all about you.”
“Maybe order a baby item as a gift with the name embroidered on it with a short note saying how excited you are to support her and show up for her any way you can.”
“Be gracious for yourself. You want to sleep well knowing you tried your best to make amends, do the right thing, be gracious and kind, and then let it go.”
“If she chooses to hang onto resentment or never be as close to you again, that’s on her. Expecting perfection is a fast way to ruin any relationship.”
“You cannot control her feelings or her behaviors, and she can’t control yours. You can each only control your own behaviors and reactions.” ~ Antelope_31
“YTA for not having the guts to include the actual name. There is a zero percent chance of getting proper advice without it, so if you aren’t willing to share it, don’t post here.” ~ TomServoMST3K
Well, the OP definitely got a diverse response.
Guess they’ll need to sort it out for themselves.