As wonderful as it is to begin a romantic relationship, doing so also comes with an unfortunate amount of stress.
Namely over how well your new partner will get along with your friends.
Sometimes, they fit right in as if they were always part of the group, other times, it’s clear that game nights and dinners out will never be the same, and not in a good way.
Redditor CastrowuzRight recently took his new girlfriend (GF) on vacation with a group of his friends.
In spite of the fact that the original poster (OP) knew that his girlfriend and one of his female friends had yet to truly hit it off.
Unfortunately, this vacation did not bring them closer together but ended up exacerbating their tense relationship.
While also putting the OP at odds with his GF.
Having some doubts about his behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my (26 M[ale]) girlfriend that she (25 F[emale]) needed to apologize to my friend(25 F) after she went off on her on a trip?”
The OP explained how the dynamic between his GF and a female friend of his went from bad to worse following a recent vacation.
“This weekend, I took a little friend vacation with my close friend group.”
“A few of them invited their significant others [SOs] and I’ve been dating my GF now for a long enough time that I don’t think it would be awkward to bring her along.”
“So my GF gets along with all my friends very well, excluding one.”
“My friend Jessica is a very nice girl, and in a lot of ways, is very similar to my GF.”
“I think that this is just one of the cases where people who are similar just repel because on paper they should be very good friends.”
“They aren’t outwardly rude to each other; however, it’s clear they just don’t vibe.”
“So three things happened on this trip that led to disaster.”
“Our first day there, we planned on going to the beach.”
“While we were getting ready, my girlfriend told me she was feeling bloated and she forgot to pack a one-piece to wear.”
“I told her we could just chill in the room, and she said she wanted to go down to the beach, but we should go buy one at the resort shop.”
“On our way down, we ran into Jessica and I told her we were going down to the shop to look for a new bathing suit.”
“Jess then offered to let my gf borrow one of hers, My GF immediately rejected and said we’d buy one.”
“We were at a bar drinking and dancing.”
“Jess is only like 5’5 and probably less than 130.”
“She’s also pretty much skin and bones, so she’s a lightweight.”
“Eventually, she got pretty lit and was finding everyone and trying to get us to take a shot.”
“When she got to us, I was down, but my GF wasn’t.”
“I told her it’d be fun, but she said no, and Jess said we were being boring.”
“So I just took a shot with Jess.”
“This set her off.”
“The final issue was that the next day me and my GF were late for breakfast because we were getting intimate and lost track of time which was wrong of us.”
“So apparently, Jess said she’d come to get us, and as she walked passed our door she heard zoo noises, and then she went back down to everyone else and said that we were occupying each other and may be a minute.”
“When we got downstairs, the group was cracking jokes which I thought was nbd.”
“Then they said Jess heard us which my GF got mad.”
“This was apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
“My GF snapped on her and told her that Jess has been being catty to her all trip, and she’s been just trying to have a good time.”
“She told her to stop being such a pick-me b*tch to her.”
“This caused Jess to cry.
“I told my GF she needed to apologize to her and resolve whatever beef they have.”
“My GF said that Jess needs to apologize to her for acting like she did and that I’m being a d*ck for taking her side.”
“We’ve been fighting about this since we got back, and things are now awkward with Jess.”
“My friends are split on this as some think that my GF was being overboard while some think she may have had a point, which I don’t understand.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Her
The OP received little to no support from the Reddit community, who unanimously agreed that he was, indeed, the a**hole for demanding his GF apologize to Jessica.
Everyone agreed that Jessica seemed to be intentionally trying to push the OP’s buttons, which he seemed oblivious to, and if anyone should apologize, it was Jessica.
“YTA.”
“It’s telling that Jess gets a name in this story, but your girlfriend doesn’t.”
“Jess does sound like an annoying pick-me who tried to get under your girlfriend’s skin, and you’re taking her side (which I’m guessing is exactly what Jess wanted).”
“If I was your girlfriend I would be seriously considering if I wanted to continue competing with another girl for my boyfriend.”
“And no, I wouldn’t.”
“So you need to ask yourself, is Jess worth losing your girlfriend for and then act accordingly.”-chloeinthesky
“YTA.”
“Skinny girl offering clothes that won’t fit (maybe Jess is that oblivious, or more likely she was being passive-aggressive).”
“And yeah, it’s kinda gross to share swimsuits.”
“It’s ok for Jess to insult your girlfriend by calling her boring.”
“No backup from you.”
“That right there is all I need to know to know YTA.”
“And now Jess and your whole friend group owe your girlfriend an apology for making fun of her.”
“Jess is mean.”
“And you don’t care.”
“Honestly your girlfriend should leave because you are either oblivious or just don’t care about her.”
“And then you choose to insist your girlfriend owes Jess an apology, but Jess doesn’t because Jess matters more.”
“And I would have dumped you right there.”- Odd_Review1028
“YTA.”
“You said Jess was ‘skin and bones’ and then offering your gf to wear her bathing suit.”
“Unless your GF is ‘skin and bones’… catty.”
“I am sure the whole conversation around doing shots was simplified from your end, given the fact you don’t get how ridiculous it is that she offered your gf one of her bathing suits.”
“She offered to come up and get you (I am guessing because no one else needed an excuse to interrupt you guys except her) and then said she heard ‘zoo noises’?”
“Dude… your friend Jess is catty af.”
“Your gf owes her nothing.”- GreenEyedMojo
“It’s not personal against anyone else that I’m disinclined to borrow their swimsuit or to do shots to make anyone else happy.”
“And my only point is your GF wasn’t being a stick in the mud.”
“Jess would have gotten on my nerves a bit too had I been your GF.”
“As for Jess being indiscrete and joking about your intimacies with the whole group was bound to cause some discomfort for somebody.”
“I would not want to spend time with your friend Jess.”
“And if you kept pestering me about it, I wouldn’t want to spend much time with you either.”
“‘Apologize? Come to earth, man. And then get a grip’.”
“YTA because you seem to think that your GF and Jess must be friendly because you and Jess are friendly?”
“Nothing could be further from the truth.”
“If you want to date Jess, then date Jess.”
“But, never expect your actual GF to put Jess’ feelings above her own.”
“C’mon.”- AndSoItGoes24
“With exception of the first ‘issue’ (which isn’t an issue at all, it’s not unreasonable for your girlfriend not to want to borrow someone else’s suit), Jess actually sounds like the problem to me.”
“So YTA.”
“When it comes to certain things, like drinking and intimacy, you need to have a certain level of respect and tact, and it sounded like Jess has none.”
“You don’t call people boring because they don’t want to drink, and you don’t go around telling everyone you heard your friends having sex.”
“This isn’t a TV series where things like that are funny.”- Mobile_Prune_3207
A contrite OP later returned, admitting that he probably didn’t handle the situation as well as he could have.
“Okay, I get it. I’m gonna apologize to my gf and tell her that I was wrong to defend Jess and that I’m going to talk to Jess to make sure she doesn’t ever speak to her like that again.”
It’s never a fun situation when you know that one or more of your friends don’t like your partner.
However, there is a right and wrong way to handle these unfortunate circumstances.
And Jessica’s behavior was very clearly the wrong way.