Pranks are only funny when both people involved are able to laugh about it. This should be true no matter the relationship, but it should especially be true in a long-term relationship or marriage.
But sometimes what someone will see as a harmless prank will look like a massive red flag to others, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Far-Gear-3368 had been frustrated with her husband when she was in the middle of changing their baby’s diaper, only for him to pants her at the changing table.
Despite how Reddit felt about the situation, the Original Poster (OP) ultimately found it to be hilarious.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH? My husband pants me while I was changing our baby’s diaper and I asked him to never do that again.”
The OP’s husband pulled a prank on her while she was caring for their baby.
“There’s ot a long story here. I (32 Female) was changing our baby’s diaper when my husband (37 Male) snuck up behind me and pulled my pants down (just the pants, not the underwear; he wanted me to include this part). He did it to make me laugh.”
“I elbowed him and yelled at him. (I apologized for elbowing him, it was just a reaction).”
The OP’s husband refused to stop pranking her.
“I asked him to never do it again, and now he won’t agree and keeps laughing.”
“He says I’m overreacting, but I’m really just asking him not to do it again, and I’m worried he’s going to do it all the time now.”
“He says he’ll stop if the internet agrees with me, but he is confident you will all think he’s hilarious.”
“I really don’t want to deal with this anymore. Please just say, ‘It was funny once but not again,’ so we can move on.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were concerned about the OP’s husband disregarding her boundaries.
“No means no, regardless of what the internet says. Your wife husband, stranger, literally anyone says not to do something again, you don’t do it again. Period.” – samsonandphil
“NTA. He did it, you didn’t find it funny, that should be the end of it. If he continues doing it then it’s a lack of respect. You’re not his Gym buddy, you’re his wife and mother of his child!” – Bulky_Specialist9645
“Seriously. Your wife CLEARLY doesn’t find it funny so it doesn’t really matter if you do or not. Don’t do upsetting things your life partner to make yourself giggle for like three minutes, I can’t believe grown humans need this explaining to them.” – Plastic_Melodic
“This is especially important with raising a child, too. CONSENT. If someone says no, that’s the end of the f**king story.” – z0hu
“I just want to add to that, when she is handling a baby on a high surface, with exposed vulnerable skin, that is a really bad time to make sudden moves on someone like that.”
“What if in a knee-jerk reaction, she turns quickly and the baby rolls off or gets hurt or something? How many people strap down the baby while changing them? Unless you are on something like a moving train, why would you?”
“I’m all for joking around, but there’s a time and place. And while someone is caring for a baby, or after someone says no, are not the right times.” – atticdoor
“It is his reaction after knowing that it upset you that is the issue. Pulled the prank, thought you would think it was funny, not the end of the world. Saw it upset you and doubled down that it was funny, and is threatening to do it again despite your wishes is not cool.”
“He should apologize for making you uncomfortable and promise not to do it again. Laughing at something that upsets, and continuing to do it to you makes him the A H.”
“OP, you should feel comfortable and safe in your home. Your husband is making it a not safe space and you are NTA. Maybe he should be on diaper duty for a while to make amends.” – Routine-Focus-9429
Others agreed and were angry the husband expected the OP to check in with Reddit at all.
“Husband: Why would you listen to internet strangers over your wife? She is your life partner, the one you chose to marry… but you don’t value her own personal boundaries?”
“You think internet strangers have more rights to decide your wife’s personal boundaries? When you’re talking about whether your wife has a right to not be stripped half-naked for giggles?”
“Learn to respect your wife, and go pants a friend who does find it funny.” – DirtyBoots_1990
“Her setting boundaries doesn’t mean s**t to him as long as Reddit thinks it’s funny? I have a feeling this man is a whole carousel of red flags, to be honest.” – Frenchfries1128
“Ask him why he cares more about what the internet thinks than his own wife.” – moist-v0n-lipwig
“NTA. He’s confident the internet will think that was a hilarious prank? Well, the joke’s on him. That was really stupid to do while you’re changing your baby. It was actually a little dangerous because you could have shifted the baby to near the edge of the changing table.”
“No one’s laughing. He’s a real AH. NOT hilarious at all.” – ShowMeTheFunny22
“If I pull a prank and the person didn’t appreciate it, I apologize, and let them know I was just joking but that I won’t do it again. It’s called respect.”
“There are things we find funny that others don’t, and once we realize it’s not appreciated, we should stop, not get irritated and tell them it’s funny and to get over it, or they are overreacting… or ask the internet for a second opinion.” – mca2021
After receiving feedback, the OP responded to the negative ratings.
“You guys really need to chill, lol (laughing out loud). I’m not going to divorce my husband because he made a joke that didn’t land. That’s not how marriage works.”
“In an ironic twist, I have decided we are now a pantsing house. I will pants him as often as humanly possible, and I will be wearing dresses to make myself invincible.”
“Thanks for the terrible advice (although I do agree that no means no, I just don’t think it’s that deep here). My husband is a really good guy and is genuinely hilarious, making the whole family laugh, so I’m going to let him do his thing.”
Some were concerned about the validity of the OP’s future revenge plot.
“I know you said you’re now a pantsing household and fighting fire with fire but I would really caution you to be serious about this and make sure he doesn’t try this with your child when it eventually grows up.”
“My dad used to pants my brother (never me, because I’m female) when he was little and it was humiliating for him. He would cry and my dad would get angry and say he’s just joking, why are you making such a big deal out of it, etc. It really ended up affecting their relationship; my brother didn’t like my dad at all.” – vButts
“People, especially partners, should be able to take ‘no’ for an answer. Pranks aren’t funny if the victim isn’t laughing. If some a**hat tried to prank me even despite me saying I don’t like it, they would get kicked in the balls since my natural fight or flight reaction is fight, and then they can suck it up if they don’t like it because it was their dumb decision to not respect my boundaries in the first place.”
“If you’re just going to be a doormat to everyone, but especially your partner, you’re in for a s**tty long term experience as they will continue to try to push past your boundaries constantly if you never enforce them.”
“From ‘I don’t want to deal with this anymore’ to ‘Let’s do it all the time’ is just ridiculous and too over the top. Like yeah, the guy is so hilarious by endangering a baby and scaring the mother into an unpredictable reaction, and the mother is just haha okie dokie with it since it’s just his humor? He’s so hilarious, clearly his pranks couldn’t possibly be harmful? That’s just nonsense, what human even thinks like that.” – LordGhoul
“I just read the update and… girl. Reply ‘one’ if you need help.”
“No, but jokes aside, I’m glad it’s all good between you two. However, the switch of attitude on your part is unusual. You seemed really bothered by your husband’s behavior in your post, of course everyone assumed (and rightfully so, I stand by it) he’s not respecting your boundaries.”
“But the way you change your mind, it’s probably hard for him to keep up with them.”
“Anyway, best of luck to you two!” – 90s_B***h
“Either the update was written by the husband, or we were all just being trolled from the beginning.”
“OP: My husband did a disrespectful and non-funny thing, and I asked him not to do it again. He won’t agree, because he’s sure it’s hilarious.”
“OP Update: We both think it’s hilarious, and hubby and I are planning to pants each other as much as possible in the future. It’s so funny, and how dare you guys think my spouse isn’t hilarious! He makes everyone laugh! Hahahahaha!”
“I’m sorry, but the complete 180 there is fishy as h**l.” – dwindlers
“This post is f**king gross. You both sound insufferable and like the type of people who make family YouTube content hoping to become influencers. Blech.” – spencermiddleton
After receiving more feedback, the OP shared a final update, and some advice.
“I turned off my notifications about 10k notifications ago. From what I can tell, It’s basically all the same stuff: calling my husband immature or a creep and then me a doormat for siding with him after reading your unhinged comments and realizing I wanted to be on the side of sanity.”
“Kudos to the people who are like, ‘Hey, glad you guys can have a good time,’ because we do. We ALWAYS do because we are happily married and we love each other and we like to joke around (we’ve been married for 11 years).”
“I highly encourage you all to laugh at your partner’s jokes, and if you don’t think it’s funny, just tell them to stop, and they will listen to you if they’re the right person. (Like my husband is for me.) Find someone who makes you laugh and likes to have fun and don’t squash their joy by being a stuck-up a**hole. You’ll be happier if you lighten up and so will they.”
“Thanks for everyone who genuinely cared about my well-being. I really worded my post to make it sound like I didn’t also think it was funny. To be fair, I was laughing while I posted this and didn’t think anyone would respond. But thanks anyway. You’ve got a good heart.”
“So have a good life, everyone. I doubt I’ll ever get on this cursed app again. And please, for the love of all that is holy, never ask strangers on the internet for their two cents on your relationship. It’s entertaining for like an hour but you start to lose your faith in humanity.”
“32 (Female) out. Peace.”
With the tonal differences between the original post and the updates, the subReddit continued to be concerned about the OP’s well-being, because it sounded like she had either been persuaded to change her mind, or someone else, like her husband, had taken over writing on the account.
Hopefully, the OP had simply had a change of heart on her own, or she’d simply phrased the first post in a much angrier tone than she had intended.
Pranks like this can work for some relationships, but if someone is being persuaded to “get over it,” that will never lead to a happy ending.