There’s nothing more exciting than moving into your first “grown up” home, and decorating it exactly as you want to.
Of course, over the course of time, you might come to realize that certain arrangements you made to your home might need changing.
Specifically, if you start growing your family.
While these changes will perfectly suit your nuclear family, they don’t always please your friends and extended family.
Redditor GuestRoomDebacle and her husband recently welcomed a new baby into their lives.
Requiring the original poster (OP) and her husband to make some necessary changes to their living arrangements.
When the OP’s father learned of these changes ahead of visiting his first grandchild, he opted to stay in a hotel instead of the OP’s apartment.
Going so far as to call the OP a “terrible hostess”.
Wondering if this was actually the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space?”
The OP explained why her father was so horrified at the changes she and her husband made to their home:
“My husband and I live in a 3 bedroom apartment.”
“We sleep in the master bedroom, and until earlier this year, the other two were a guest room and an office space we both shared.”
“Our first child was born in October, and we decided to turn the guest room into his nursery.”
“We thought about sacrificing the office instead, but decided we needed it more than the guest room.”
“I work on-site, but I also do some freelancing from home, and my husband works hybrid.”
“We don’t need to do our work from the office, but it’s more comfortable and less chaotic, especially now that we have a baby.”
“On the other hand, we rarely have guests over.”
“If we do, the office is big enough to set a mattress, a normal one, not an air mattress, on the floor.”
“My father lives in a different country.”
“He’s traveling here for Christmas in about a week, and this will be his first time meeting my son in person.”
“Last time he came, I was pregnant and we still had the guest room, so he stayed there during his visit.”
“A couple weeks ago, my father called to ask whether he could stay at my apartment again this year.”
“I said sure, but we don’t have the guest room anymore, so he’d have to sleep in the office.”
“He asked what I meant, and I told him we’d turned the guest room into the baby’s nursery.”
“He then asked why I hadn’t gotten rid of the office instead.”
“I explained my and my husband’s reasoning.”
“My father got annoyed and said, ‘Whatever, I’ll get a hotel’, before hanging up on me.”
“The next day, my father texted me.”
“He said it was selfish and inconsiderate of me and my husband to keep an office we ‘don’t actually need’ over a room to properly house potential guests.”
“He added that he didn’t raise me to be such an awful hostess, and it’s insane of me to think people would be okay sleeping on a mattress on the floor.”
“My sister is siding with my father, and I’m starting to doubt myself here.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community stood firmly behind the OP, agreeing that she was not the a**hole for turning the guest room, and not the office, into the baby’s room.
Everyone agreed that the OP made absolutely the right decision in choosing to turn a room that would only be occasionally used into the baby’s room, and not their office, which she and her husband would both use, and at the end of the day, the OP and her husband had every right to do whatever they wanted to in their own home:
“NTA.”
“A home should be set up for the best interests of the people who live there.”
“You and your husband both regularly work from home.”
“Sure, you could make do without the office, but it would be awkward and inconvenient for you both. It’s quite absurd for someone who isn’t paying any part of the rent or living there to expect you to suffer routine inconvenience in your own home year round to better be convenient for them a few days a year.”- KaliTheBlaze
“NTA.”
“A guest room is nice to have, but you have reason enough to use that space otherwise.”
“In fact, to not do so could be a waste of space.”
“Surely your dad also taught you not to waste resources.”
“As for sister dear, does she live nearby to you?”
“Maybe she’s afraid dad will hit her up.”
“Or, does she live far away, and was figuring on using your guest room for some free lodging of her own?”- BlindUmpBob
“Honestly, I sometimes think it’s so wasteful to keep a full room just on the premise that someone MIGHT come over to stay.”
“I’m all for hybrid rooms.”
“Office with a built in Murphy Bed on the wall.”
“Project room with a pull out couch, exercise home gym with an Air mattress.”
“Like why take your limited space and have it dedicated solely to something that might not be used for months on an end.”
“NTA by any means.”- Iokua_CDN
“It’s never inconsiderate to prioritize your households needs when making choices.”
“Having a guest bedroom only benefits others not your husband your baby or you.”
“NTA obviously.”- -cheeks
“NTA.”
“WFH wasn’t a thing when your father was in the workforce.”
“Nowadays a home office is a must and it sounds like you and your husband both use it.”
“While it is great to have a dedicated guest room it’s also crazy to have a room in your house that is almost never used ‘just in case’ someone comes to visit you.”
“If the space permits I’d consider getting a nice/comfortable pull out sleeper sofa for your office but a plan to have guests stay at a nearby hotel is perfectly fine.”- Kimbo151
“NTA.”
“Housing a guest temporarily vs every day to day life?”
“He’s rude for being so demanding on your space, especially at just having a baby.”
“He will be more comfortable in hotel considering how ‘disruptive’ a baby can be.”-Glad_Commercial183
“NTA.”
“You’re not an awful hostess, he’s an awful guest.”
“He is entitled and rude.”
“If you want to house him, you could buy a metal frame for the mattress so that it will pass as a real bed, and take it down when he leaves.”
“Or he could stay in the hotel he claims to prefer.”- Spare_Ad5009
“NTA.”
“Your house, your rules.”
“Why should you keep the guest room to accommodate infrequent visitors when you use the office regularly?”
“You’d be inconvenienced nearly daily, while your visitors would only be inconvenienced for the duration of their visit.”- young929
“NTA.”
“He’s guilt tripping you and trying to rope you in with gendered expectations of being a good hostess and a self-sacrificing person to his own advantage.”- First_Grapefruit_326
“NTA at all.”
“It’s your place and you have every right to do as you please with it, and you don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone.”- mrsagc90
“An office is no longer a luxury for most people due to how we work.”
“I WFH completely so it an essential.”
“A guest room that may be used twice a year is a complete waste of much needed real estate.”
“My husband’s office has a bed that can be made to look like a sofa and pull out to a double bed; thank you Ikea.”
“We call the room our ‘room of requirements’.”
“We even have a plaque on the door.”
“As it’s used as granddaughters bedroom once a week, husbands office, you name it.”
“Depending on the office set up get a bed like we have and make the room convertible.”-WeirdPinkHair
“NTA.”
“You have a small place, a baby, and work from home sometimes.”
“What does he expect?”
“You’re not running a bnb.”- Iiiiiiiiiiiii1ii1
“NTA.”
“With a baby at home, your husband will need that office on his days working from home.”
“Even more so as that child gets older.”
“It sounds like you’ve got a bed or some sort of sleep setup in the office, but if not, you might consider making this a combo space, which is what we did when my oldest was born.”
“You’re under no obligation to keep a room empty for someone to use once a year when they visit.”
“If your father wants a dedicated guest room, he can buy you a new house.”
“This is a ridiculous request on his part.”- Affectionate_Big8239
Nice as it is to have, a guest room is ultimately not a necessity.
Certainly not as necessary as the OP’s child having a room of their own, or the OP and her husband having a place where they can do their work.
Even if his temporary accommodations have become a bit less luxurious, the OP’s father should consider himself lucky that when he visits his family, he would at least get a private room of his own.
As many grandparents have to settle for sleeping on the living room sofa.