Blended families can be a beautiful union.
You’re basically taking two groups of people who dearly love each other and uniting them as one.
But in order for a blended family to feel like one united ball of joy and love, everyone has to be on board… especially the parents.
A dad on Reddit was livid after his wife demanded his son get out of a family photo with her biological children, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor MkUrF8 asked:
“AITAH For Losing It On My Wife After She Told My Son to ‘Get Out of the Picture’ at My Stepdaughter’s Birthday?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m really struggling here and starting to feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“I think I’m being gaslit, so what better place to get some clarity than Reddit?”
“Here’s the situation.”
“I’ve been married to my wife for 8 years, and on the whole, we have a good relationship.”
“She has four kids (two daughters, two sons, ages 11-16) from a previous relationship, and I have one son, who’s 10.”
“Since day one, I’ve treated her kids as my own and done my best to support the family.”
“Financially, it’s a big load, but I’m happy to do it.”
“We live together in a five-bedroom house, where each of her daughters has their own room, her oldest son has his own, and her youngest son shares a room with my son.”
“The main issue—and what’s tearing me apart—is how she treats my son.”
“She barely acknowledges him, rarely asks how he’s doing, and generally acts like he’s invisible.”
“Tonight, it hit a breaking point.”
“We were celebrating her daughter’s 11th birthday, and everyone was gathered to sing and take pictures.”
“I told my son to get in with the group for a picture, which seemed fine.”
“But then, right after the group photo, my wife looked at my son and told him, ‘Get out of the picture, move to the side—I want one with just my kids.'”
“I felt like my heart shattered in that moment.”
“I completely lost it.”
“I told her that we’re supposed to be a blended family and that my son deserves to be treated like one of her own.”
“I feel like she’s drawing lines between ‘her’ kids and ‘my’ son, and it just doesn’t sit right with me.”
“For context, my son’s biological mom passed away two years ago, supposedly from Covid complications, though she had a history of drug problems that may have worsened things.”
“My son only has my wife now as a mother figure.”
“I’m terrified that this rejection from her is going to hurt him deeply and cause psychological damage.”
“Am I asking too much for her to treat him like part of the family?”
“I don’t want to be overreacting, but the way she flat-out ignores him is painful to witness.”
“AITA for expecting her to step up and include him?”
Redditors weighed in on the situation, and agreed that OP is NTA (not the a**hole) for “losing it.”
“NTA: She acted cool with him until she hooked you then the true colors came through.”
“She’s an evil step mother to your boy.”
“I suggest getting her and her kids out of your house and focus on putting your son first.”
“Her behavior is hurtful, inappropriate and unacceptable.”
“Choose your son.” – Kindly_Good1457
“Nta.”
“Divorce. she’s only using your money to raise her kids.”
“Hope you have a prenup.” – Shichimi88
They did feel, however, that he is the a**hole (YTA) for knowing his son is treated unfairly and taking no action, with many noting the photo incident is not the first time he’s witnessed this kind of behavior from his wife.
“If this is real, YTA for allowing it to continue – downright ignoring him, you say? – until this point.” – YourMysticVixen
“If she hasn’t stepped up in 8 years, she never will.”
“YTA for subjecting your son to your horrible wife for way too long.” – ComprehensivePut5569
“YTA because you know this isn’t the first time she’s treated him like this.”
“She’s known him since he was 2 years old?”
“She’s a horrible human.”
“Do what’s best for your son.”
“-you’re not overreacting, you are not reacting enough-“ – oy-c*nt-
“YTA OP.”
“A father who stands by while his wife abuses his son is an abusive father.”
“Your abuse takes the form of neglect.”
“If you were a good man and good father you’d divorce that b*tch and take care of your son.”
“And if you think I’m being extreme ask yourself this.”
“What would your late wife say if she saw how you were letting this woman treat your son.”
“The greatest gift she ever gave you.”
“And you let this new woman do this to him?” – island_lord830
“YTA – Your son has already been hurt (and I’m sure has/will have psych issues) from the rejection by your wife.”
“Don’t fool yourself.”
“You’re supposed to protect him!”
“You’re failing as a father right now, so get it together.”
“This isn’t something you can change by just asking your wife to include him.”
“You should have never married someone who did not love your son in the first place.”
“Your son comes first. Even before your wife.” – Remarkable_Buyer4625
“YTA For allowing your child to be abused in his own home and family.”
“When do you EVER plan on putting YOUR child first?”
“Get your child some therapy and DIVORCE the sorry excuse for a mother.”
“The poor child, who has had to grow up thinking he’s not a real member of his OWN family.”
“8 years!”
“You need to do better for him!” – JennieGee
“YTA for allowing her to push him to the side while you’re simultaneously making space for her biological children.”
“He’s getting squeezed out by everyone and getting crumbs of your attention.”
“You’re currently building a relationship of resentment with your son.”
“He will grow to resent you for:”
“1. Marrying someone who doesn’t accept him as her child”
“2. Staying with this woman for years knowing she’s borderline neglectful that you know of.”
“3. Making him split the time he has with his one living parent with 4 other kids, and an adult who doesn’t give a single sh*t about him.”
“If you continue to allow this behavior toward him, you’re going to be coming back to Reddit in 8 years asking g why your son is NC.”
“YTA for not losing it on her sooner.”
“She doesn’t see him as hers, and never will.”
“She’s helped raise him since he was a toddler and still draws the line between him and her bio kids.”
“If you can live with that, you deserve the NC you’ll receive in 8 years.”
“Family therapy or divorce if you want to show your son he matters.” – Friendly-Client6242
“So basically, your wife has been treating your son like an unwanted boarder since he was two and until now you’ve been okay with this?”
“She barely acknowledges him?”
“Wow, you should have said/done something about this many years ago.”
“Your son’s been through a lot, new mother figure (failure), with four golden children, then his bio mother dies.”
“You are also at fault here, you’ve treated her children as your own and your boy is barely an afterthought to her.”
“She’s a monster and YTA to your son.” – Bigstachedad
“YTA for not protecting your kid.”
“Unfortunately you were looking at it as ‘our kids’ and that POS you married for some godforsaken reason has always looked at it as ‘my kids’ and ‘your kid.'”
“Time to give ‘her kids’ the same treatment she gives yours.”
“Or better yet, get away from that woman and divorce.”
“Your son comes first, you are all he has in the world” – omfgwtfbbqkkthx
“YTA for letting it get this far.”
“You said at the beginning of the post you treat her four kids like your own but she can’t do the same.”
“Why are you allowing your kid to go through this?”
“Why are you with a woman who treats your kid like this.”
“You need to ask yourself is my relationship with this woman worth it at the risk that my child is hurt?”
“Your kid is 10 now but if this treatment continues you might lose your only child because of this.”
“And if you confront your wife and she says she’ll treat your son well, how sure will you be able to trust her?”
“What will happen the times you aren’t home?”
“Will she pretend to play happy family with you while you’re there but show a different face to your son.”
“You seriously need to reconsider this whole relationship for YOUR CHILD.”
“Not hers. YOURS.” – FindingFit6035
“Your son deserves better than this.”
“You’re supposed to protect him and look out for him and you’re failing spectacularly.” – Idonotgiveacrap
“YTA for not prioritizing your child.”
“If she treats him like that in your presence, how badly do you think she treats him when you’re NOT THERE?”
“Divorce that leach” – Haunting-Nebula-1685
Hopefully, fellow Redditors’ comments will open OP’s eyes to the real issue.
It sounds like OP has much to ponder, but he should take their advice and put his son first.