Family get-togethers can make for great memories, especially when children are present.
But inevitably, innocent playtime can lead to crying and temper tantrums.
The mother of a disabled child who uses a mobility scooter reached her boiling point when the device in question became the subject of drama.
She visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit for her handling of the situation to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor generic-usernme asked:
“AITA for yelling at my neice to stop playing with my son’s mobility aid?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (26 F[emale]) have two kids, but this post is in regards to my son ‘MJ’ (M[ale] 7) and my niece (F[female] 5) who we will call ‘Jill’ for some background.”
“My son has some mobility issues that make it extremely hard for him to walk on his own, he uses a walker in most cases but at home he uses something we call his ‘scoot-a-round’ that his doctor had made epically for him.”
“MJ can sit on it and use his legs to push it has wheels on the bottom and looks kinda like an elephant. ( I hope this description makes sense) It helps him strengthen his legs, is fun, and also helps him zip around the house easier.”
The OP continued:
“Yesterday my sister and her kids were over and playing with my son, I noticed Jill on the scoot-a-round and asked her to please get off as it isn’t a toy it’s to help MJ walk.”
“My son says ‘it’s okay mom! I’m showing all my cousins how it works’ so at this time I did back off and let them continue. About 30 minutes later my son text me while I’m in the other room with my sister and asks for help.”
“I run upstairs and see Jill playing recklessly with the scoot-a-round my son was upset because he said it needed to be charged and he needed to go to the bathroom and she would not get off.”
“I helped my son to the bathroom first and when we came back I did ask Jill twice nicely to get off and she refused and whined. I did end up raising my voice at her which made her leave it alone.”
The confrontation escalated.
“Next thing I know my sister is running down Screaming at me for making Jill cry, I explained the situation and how MJ’s scoot-a-round was not a toy. Sister said I shouldn’t have it out around other kids if they can’t play with it and said my son doesn’t need it because he has a walker.”
“I also explained the way Jill was playing with it could have broken it but she doubled down. I made them get out.”
“My nephews were supposed to stay over with MJ so I asked if it was okay for them to still stay and my son said yes but that Jill had to leave.”
“As soon as my sister got home she, her husband, and my mom all started calling and texting saying I was the a**hole. My husband is on my side but nobody else is so idk. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA, but there needs to be a rule that nobody uses the scootaround except for MJ. You’re right, it’s not a toy, it’s a mobility device that was made especially for him and would probably be expensive to replace, not to mention the inconvenience to MJ while it’s being replaced. Stand up for your kid!” – Regular_Boot_3540
“NTA.”
‘When we came back I did ask Jill twice nicely to get off and she refused I fid end up raising my voice at her which made her leave it alone.’
“You let it go the first time for your son. She ignored you twice more.”
“At that point your sister should’ve parented her kid & told her to get off it. So I don’t blame you for raising your voice.”
“Her & her husband should teach their kid some boundaries. Your mom should stop enabling their poor parenting & stay out of it.” – Apart-Ad-6518
“Nta. What the hell was your sister doing just letting this happen? It’s NOT a toy. What if her kid broke it? Ridiculous, selfish behavior.” – Arakarani
“Disabled person here I have nieces nephews and all that. I have fun looking aids kids love, and I’ll let em mess with em but if I need them and they don’t listen i have to either raise my voice and explain or get their parent as for some reason they don’t get it which is normal and usually the parents fault I’ve been through this ‘I have it out?’ Because it helps me, it makes ME happy, IT IS MINE.”
“If your son told her multiple times to get off, then you did and she didn’t, that’s on the parents (can’t really blame a 5 year old for being a 5 year old)” – AccomplishedArt4596
“NTA. That is your son’s mobility aid. Jill was told to get off, and would not. She prevented you child from using the bathroom. In what world does your sister and niece live that makes that ok?”
“At 5 years old, she should not have to be told more than once to get off.”
“Not have it out when her kids are around? No. It is still his mobility aid no matter who is there.”
“Your niece needs to stay by her mother’s side at your house. Within arms reach so that mom can deal with her precious angel, and no one will have to raise their voice to her.”
“I am disabled. My grandkids think my walking sticks are fun to play with. I let them, but even the 3-year-old understands that when I say I need them back, they hand them over immediately. The first time they don’t, they don’t get to touch them again that visit. They learn quickly when they are taught.”
“Your sister is failing as a mom. The rest of your family that is supporting your sisters’ poor parenting does not need time with your kids. Your son should not have to deal with the consequences of his aunt’s failure.”
“Keep those kids safe.” – Fickle_Toe1724
“Exactly this. I use mobility aids (walking frame and electric wheelchair) that I’m okay with kids looking at and explaining to them. I don’t usually let them try it out themselves, but if he wants to do that, he should have his parent with him to supervise us and emphasize it is not a toy. It is medical equipment to help him move around since he can’t do it like the other kids do.”
“At the moment, I’m weaning my 3yo off of sitting on my lap when I’m out in my wheelchair. It was great when he was little, but now he needs to use his own legs because with him on me we’re getting nearer to the weight limit of the chair, and it can’t move as fast.” – avalinka
“NTA, and I think you need to send a cost breakdown to sister about what it would cost to replace it. And ask that she speak to her child about respecting other people’s property. If she breaks her own stuff, that’s the natural consequence. If she breaks someone else’s, then that’s financial consequences on her behalf, paid for by the parents.” – illiriam
“NTA but you need to stop using the word toy with the kids. That is a Mobility ‘tool’ or mobility ‘aid’ Talk to your niece next time you see her and gently explain that like you wouldn’t take away crutches from a person with a broken leg you should not use people mobility scooters, wheelchairs, frames, crutches or canes it is unkind, and you know she is not a mean person.”
“Apologize for yelling but also say when you ask her to do something, it should be done the first time you say it, especially if it is giving back something that is not hers.”
“Kids can learn from adults apologizing, so that is an important step.” – FairyFartDaydreams
“NTA. She’d likely say the same crap if it was a wheelchair. She is an enabler, and until they learn proper boundaries, she tells them to stay at home. Her kid sounds like a spoiled brat. You have the patience of a saint. And your son sounds like he gets that from you. ❤️” – anon
“NTA She didn’t listen she got yelled at, she doesn’t want to get yelled at she respects other people’s things. Easy cause and effect. Do any of your family have prescription glasses?”
“Ask them how they’d feel if precious little Jill stole their glasses to ‘play’, refused to give them back when told and started bashing them around. Then times that by a thousand because your son’s walking aid let’s him be capable of doing many things most people take for granted.” – I_wanna_be_anemone
Overall, Redditors backed the OP for her response, and they criticized her sister for not being more of a disciplinary figure and not supporting the OP in the situation.
They also thought the OP should’ve been more firm the first time her niece was disrespectful towards her cousin.