Raising several young children at once is no easy task.
That’s why parents often try to make things like the daily routine as simple as possible.
Moms sometimes will need to make comfort wherever they can.
Especially if a new mom is breastfeeding her baby.
Redditor No_Detail_9419 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITAH for not wearing a bra in my apt when the repair man came?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Am I the a**hole for not wearing a bra in my own house?”
“My husband is mad at me because we had a repair man come to look at our couches, and I was wearing a t-shirt (which wasn’t in the least bit see-through, by the way) with no bra, but I had on pants.”
“He says that even if the shirt wasn’t see-through, you can still see them (my breasts) sitting in the shirt.”
“I’m a large-chested woman, and hiding them is literally impossible.”
“He says that through the shirt, you can still see them jiggling and the nipple.”
“I said that’s insane that I’m supposed to wear a bra just because someone is coming into the house that’s a stranger, especially because I was fully covered by my shirt. There was 0 cleavage showing.”
“Also, to add for context, I currently breastfeed our youngest child who’s still an infant.”
“Being braless at home makes this much easier for me and the repair guy was here maybe 10 minutes max.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITAH?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“What’s wrong with someone knowing you have breasts?”
“Why should you try to hide them?”
“People are so weird. NTA.” ~ Miserable_Dentist_70
“All a bra does, is hold your boobs up and make them look better.”
“Why is that the better option for this guy?”
“NTA of course.” ~ weaselroni
“I am sick to f**king death of having to dress uncomfortably to put on this facade to the world that I don’t have nipples?”
“Like we all have them.” ~ left4alive
“YESSSS!!! This!!! The patriarchy needs to sit the F down!”
“We all have nipples!”
“Be careful, OP.”
“Your husband sounds a bit toxic and controlling, maybe even abusive, based on his comment.”
“You have a right to be comfortable in your own home.” ~ Fantasia-Fairy
“And this here is why I own all of 2 bras that’s somewhere in the house.”
“Can’t tell you when last I wore one of them.”
“At this point, they’re part of my ‘fancy dress’ ensemble. 🤣”
“The last time I heard a comment from a man, indirectly saying he can see my nipples, my question to him was, IF he is a heterosexual male as he claims, why are my nipples so offensive to him?”
“Other than the fact that he can choose to look elsewhere, my nips don’t hold no one but my husband hostage. 🤣” ~ Animal_Whisperer_420
“Yeah, I haven’t worn bras for YEARS; people need to get over this weird need to suppress the existence of women having nipples under their shirts.”
“Most bras I’ve seen don’t even stop you from seeing the nipple outline. Actually, I’ve seen quite a few types of bras that have the nipple part molded into it.”
“Some women wear them for comfort and that’s ok, it doesn’t mean every woman needs to wear them, especially if she finds them uncomfortable.” ~ AhsoPlushy
“I think everyone needs to review the footage of the pole vaulter whose ‘package’ caught on the bar.”
“People have equipment.”
“It’s occasionally awkward.”
“But, it’s real, and only the owner of said equipment gets to decide what level of coverage they desire.”
“NTA, husband is the a**hole.” ~ FragilousSpectunkery
“NTA. Female human has the audacity to exist with female anatomy in their own dwelling.”
“Female human dresses modestly yet practically in order to feed infant human.”
“How can your husband turn this into a drama?” ~ Hockeymum2378
“I’m not even breastfeeding, but when I get home, my bra comes off.”
“That’s just how it works.”
“Don’t blame me, I don’t make the rules.”
“OP’s husband clearly doesn’t understand the rules.” ~j errys153
“Of course NTA.”
‘You wouldn’t have been in any case, but that…”
“‘Context: I currently breastfeed our youngest child, who’s still an infant. Being braless at home makes this much easier for me, and the repair guy was here maybe 10 minutes max.'”
“Just makes your husband doubly so.” ~ Apart-Ad-6518
“Does he know that even when you wear a bra, you can still see the hutch bunnies ‘sitting in your shirt?'”
“He also doesn’t actually get a say.”
“You never have to tie back the boobies for anyone but yourself, especially not in your own home.”
“Bras suck.”
“I promise the repairman did not care.”
“They (and delivery people) get pretty desensitized to far wilder sites, so your untethered girlies and their chilly weather buttons wouldn’t have even registered.”
“NTA. You’re breastfeeding too?! Pfft.”
“Your husband can stuff his insecurity and over-controlling opinions right up his… nostril.”
“Them lunch ladies need to BREATHE!” ~ HousingItchy8561
OP responded…
“We have had past issues with unloyalty on BOTH sides, so I can understand to an extent.”
“But I have three kids, and I am a stay-at-home mom now.”
“By the way, all of the kids are under 4, so I hardly have time to pee during the day, let alone try on an outfit from head to toe.”
“I wear a bra when we go out. I just don’t want to wear one when I’m inside, is all.”
Reddit continued…
“Nope. He doesn’t get a pass because of that.”
“Sounds like you’re even on that score, so NTA, and he’s the AH in this scenario.”
“I nursed my kids for a long time and didn’t wear a bra for many months indoors or out and about when my second was a baby.” ~ T_G_A_H
“If it makes you feel any better, I was in the hospital for two weeks after mine was born.”
“I’m pretty sure you might have seen my nipples because EVERYBODY saw my nipples!”
“It freaked me out at first, then I was too exhausted and in pain to care.”
“And no one else cared either.”
“But my job was to try to feed my baby.”
“How utterly absurd would it be if I had to go to my office job and hide my keyboard?”
“Or tell that repair man to fix the plumbing but – oh hell no he isn’t getting paid if you all catch a glimpse of a screwdriver or a wrench?!”
“You weren’t going to the repair person’s house and slinging nipples.”
“They came to your house.”
“Where you are working taking care of a baby.”
“Breasts under a shirt are hardly scandalous.”
“Maybe your partner needs to find some work to do – plenty of it around with an infant.” ~ Matzie138
“Heck when I was struggling with nursing, I was SO sore and cracked that I frequently had to go completely topless to ease the pain, even when my mum was over to lend a hand.”
“Having to wear a shirt was painful enough, no way was I going to suffer a bra around the house as well just for someone to come in to fix the sink.” ~ HousingItchy8561
“NTA. Does he think you live in a porno?”
“Like what is his actual line of thinking here?”
“The repair guy will come over, be like ‘Unrestrained breasts?!’ then all of the sudden you guys are going to pound town with little ones in the house?”
“You’re nursing an infant and have 3 kids who are not yet school-aged.”
“I imagine your general vibe is more ‘Everyone QUIT TOUCHING ME!’ and not, ‘Gee, I sure hope the repairman will notice my breasts because what I’d like is a random quickie with kids underfoot.”
“That would definitely be more satisfying than a functional sofa.”
“You can still see [my breasts] sitting in the shirt.”
“Yeah, that’s what breasts do if you’re wearing a shirt.”
“They sit in the shirt.”
“If you had a bra on, I imagine it would still be visually apparent that your breasts are scandalously existing within your shirt.”
“I’m a guy and I think he’s being a weirdo and a dumba**.” ~ limegreencupcakes
“Unless you were lifting up your shirt to flash the repairman, previous unloyalty has no relevance. NTA.” ~ Flimsy-Car-7926
“Wow, your husband has some insecurities!”
“I literally have nothing else to say because your perspective is so rational, and his perspective is so skewed. NTA.” ~ RightLocal1356
“So, repairman here…”
“Obviously, I can’t speak for repairmen en masse, but I can safely say that personally, I’ve never looked or noticed whether a client was wearing a bra or not.”
“I’m here to work.”
“Beyond that, you’re in your own house.”
“It’s not like you were shirtless.”
“And when you’re breastfeeding an infant, braless makes sense.”
“My wife did that too when our kids were babies. NTA.” ~ AccidentalNarwhal
“I have exactly the same experience, I have been to thousands of homes.”
“I have had people who are obviously uncomfortable and stay well out of it, and I’ve had people open the door and stay chatting in the kitchen with me while naked – I’m there to fix the dishwasher, nothing more.”
“And trust me, I have been to so many places, I have seen it before.”
“Nothing shocks me!” ~ UnusualCandle5238
“NTA. I’m a man, and in a T-shirt my nipples are visible.”
“By your husband’s logic, I guess I should wear a bra.”
“When I was much heavier, I also had man-boobs… so… yeah.”
“It’s your home, and you were ‘decent.'”
“Hubby needs to chill.” ~ subsailor1968
“You’re NTA.”
“Next scene: unreasonable, jealous hubby doesn’t like how frequently the baby is fed and starts pushing for bottle feeding.” ~ Dittoheadforever
“NTA. Men walk around shirtless all the time, but we can’t be braless? Screw that!”
“I wear a bra as little as possible.”
“I’m guessing hubby also has an issue with public breastfeeding?”
“Hubby needs to chill.”
“Next time he complains about you being braless in your own home, shove a pacifier in his mouth. 👶” ~ Maximum_Expression60
OP responded…
“He absolutely has an issue if I feed my kids in a public place.”
“I’ve told him that the sole purpose of a breast is literally to feed the humans you spend nine months creating.”
“Says I should have a cover or find a secluded spot.”
“We were at the fair recently and went to an area where not many people were and began to feed our son.”
“Soon after, I started chatting with a group of people (men included in the said group) who came over to where we were, and he got mad because I didn’t ask for his shirt (I thought showing breasts wasn’t an issue) to cover myself up while feeding.”
“Mind you, it was VERY hot that day, and I wasn’t going to just stop feeding my son altogether.”
Reddit said…
“Good gracious!”
“Why are some men so clueless?”
“I breastfed in public all the time, and no one was the wiser.”
“Like you said, it’s what they are meant for.”
“I just don’t get how we can be so technologically advanced as a society yet so socially dysfunctional.” ~ Maximum_Expression60
“Were they repairing your bra? If not, NTA.” ~ ubix
Reddit is completely behind you, OP.
You need to be comfortable while you care for your kids.
It sounds like your husband needs a reality check regarding life with several children.
Perhaps you can show him this Reddit thread to help him understand.