A parent prepared a sweet treat to bring to a potluck at her job.
In an effort for full transparency, the parent indicated the provided dessert wasn’t a solo endeavor.
Perhaps they revealed too much.
The note attached to the dessert caused drama leading to a confrontation with a co-worker.
After the incident, the parent took to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment.
There, Redditor Secret-Departure1215 asked:
“AITA for making a dessert with my 2 year old for a potluck.”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“We had a potluck at work last week. I made this delicious brownie & cookie concoction with a caramel sauce. When I made it, my 2 year old was by my side and ‘helping’ as much as he could.”
“When I put the dish out at the potluck I added a sign that my son helped make it. I thought that was the right thing to do in case people had an issue with it.”
The OP continued:
“A co-worker who has made it known does not like kids, She has complained to HR about my kid being around at the end of the day for 15-30 minutes.”
“This co-worker approached me and said that it wasn’t fair that I made a dish that she wouldn’t eat. I told her I just made the dish, i’m not concerned with who did and didn’t eat it.”
“She said that making a dish that wasn’t made in a safe way and bringing it is not okay. I felt like providing the sign was enough to allow people to make their own decisions.”
“She called me an a**hole and I felt like she was blowing this way out of proportion. But AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“NTA. Your co-worker is just an AH. If you want all of your food to be prepared as if the state health inspector supervised the whole thing, you shouldn’t eat ANYTHING at a pot luck, not just the one dish where someone was upfront about the circumstances in which it was made.” – JeepersCreepers74
“Seconding this NTA. Don’t let the AH’s get you down, it’s awesome you included your child, and any parent would think it’s cool.”
“Heck, I wouldn’t have thought to label it, kids aren’t an allergen.” – ravinred
“The allergen point also makes the co-workers point about OP bringing a dish she couldn’t eat redundant. How many folk with allergies or intolerances couldn’t eat a fair few of the dishes at the potluck.”
“We don’t grumble and say every single person needs to bring a dish that is suitable for our dietary restrictions, we just accept that not everything in life is for us frustrating as it may be (good potluck organisers make sure there is at least 5-7 dishes suitable for the different dietary restrictions in attendance and luckily I have an intolerance not a severe allergy or else I would never participate just due to the high risk), as childfree folk need to do in these situations.” – witchyb*tchy10
“NTA. I wouldn’t eat it, but I wouldn’t make a fuss about it either. TBH I generally skip out on potlucks when I don’t have a pretty good idea of the kitchen hygiene of all involved.”
“Yeah, kids are kinda gross and have a tendency to put fingers in their nose and mouth and back into food. But so do some adults. And some people let pets on the counter. Or don’t wash their hands prior to preparing food or after using the toilet.”
“Potlucks are a hygiene crapshoot regardless of whether kids are involved.” – Mikey4You
“NTA it was nice of you to be up front about it at least. I see an issue with letting the kid help at all, but I personally don’t let my kids help if non-family will be eating what I’m baking. Too many coughs and sneezes. I worked in food service in college and food safety issues make my eye twitch.” – MachacaConHuevos
“No way I’d have eaten it. You did the right thing with the label, and your coworker is an a**hole, she could have simply eaten something else. But still I wouldn’t take something to a potluck that was questionably hygienic.” – 000topchef
“NTA. I would appreciate the sign, because it would tell me to not touch your brownies or cookies.”
“Little kids can and probably should help you make food you serve your family. But their snotty noses and tendency to scratch their balls or ass and then put fingers into whatever makes that a huge no for me.” – National_Cod9546
“I don’t know what’s up with that specific coworker, but leave the kid stuff at home please? I am assuming you are a woman. I’m a childless woman and I didn’t like it when my coworkers would insert their children into work events. Why? It was always gendered.”
“The men don’t tend to do this. And I feel like it’s inserting too much of one’s personal life into the office undermines women being taken seriously. I doubt this is about the specific potluck dish and more simmer resentment at not having the same expectations for boundaries at work.”
“I like kids in my downtime, but I would find this to be annoying in a work context, especially if they are coming by the office regularly? Look around and just observe how many men bring their kids into work and how many women. I know we’re still working on gender equality, but in the meantime, it does negatively impact all women in the office when some women can’t set a boundary with their personal life?”
“Ok, so for example here’s something that happened recently. I set up a work dinner to introduce a long time professional contact of mine to my boss, who might want to contract with her. Plans changed, and she brought her kid to dinner. Her child wasn’t like, quiet and well behaved, and I spent the whole dinner talking to the kid in front of my boss and other male coworker because I’m not an a**hole and wasn’t going to ignore the kid as they addressed me.”
“My boss is really sympathetic as a dad with a big family, but even so we couldn’t actually talk business and I felt like it hurt my standing as a professional to have to engage with someone else’s kids in this way in a work setting, and I also feel like I wouldn’t have felt that as acutely if I were a man because I’d be less worried about judgement.”
“You don’t have to hate kids to not want them inserted into your business life? And people absolutely do judge that stuff, I don’t make the rules on the patriarchy. We are not there yet.”
“Coworker was still being an a**hole, though, and could have quietly just not eaten it.” – probgonnamarrymydog
“I’m sorry that you got turned into HR. Yes I’ll be glad to try the brownies that you made with your two-year-old son. It’s good that he’s learning how to cook and how to help.”
“I’m sorry for the people that are on here giving you crap because they don’t want to eat it because it was made with a two year old. Good job Dad keep it up with your son.” – isaythetrue
“You are definitely not the a**hole!!! Do these people eat at restaurants??? Did they eat the food your other other coworkers brought?? How do they know they are clean???”
“I was at Captain D and saw this lady interacting with a child outside, touching him and kissing him. Then, she walked in to serve food without washing her hands. I told the manager not to let her touch my food but my point is no one and I mean no one can ever know if everyone who touched their food is clean!! Even at a five star restaurant!!”
“I had coworkers that would ask for plastic utensils at all restaurants!!!! Ridiculous someone at some point touched those too!!! I would be happy to eat your food your toddler helped prepare!!!! “ – Desperate_Plan6911
“NTA. I would not eat it because I know my own kids would have taken multiple tastes with unclean hands when I wasn’t looking.”
“I mean, yeah, all the germs are probably dead after baking, but the thought is still gross. I wouldn’t tell you that you were gross or that you shouldn’t have brought the dish. I personally would have made a second batch after the kiddo went to bed. Now we get to keep mommy and me cookies and work will get their own batch.”
“Word to the wise, everyone’s hygiene standards are different. I attended a boyfriend’s family get-together, and everyone brought a dish. His older sister brought something, and I plopped some on my plate when we had dinner. After dinner, a family member pulled me aside and warned me not to eat her food.”
“She isn’t the cleanest person. I didn’t understand until I went to her house to take her to a doctor’s appointment. She was a hoarder. Cat pee and poop everywhere. The kitchen had one open burner and a mountain of dishes. The house smelled so bad I was taking teeny tiny breaths.” – Any-Lychee9972
Overall, Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole for letting her toddler “help” in the kitchen, even though it was an unpopular effort. But at least the parent notified the coworkers about it with a fair warning.
The rest was up to the potluck participants on deciding whether or not they should sample the brownie or not.
That’s the beauty of potlucks. If no one likes what they see on the table, they are under no obligation to try a dish that doesn’t interest them.