When a health crisis strikes, the decision to go to the hospital can be a tough one.
The costs, the unique risks created by the current pandemic and the trauma of a hospital visit are all reasons people might hesitate to rush right over.
And yet, sometimes it just feels like the right move.
Recently, however, one Redditor found themself debating whether or not they were correct in deciding to bring their child to the hospital.
They, using the charged monicker mymilisinsane765554, discussed it in a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP) led with a title that didn’t give too much away.
“AITA for defying my mother in law?”
OP then began the post with some background about the medical issue at play.
“My seven year old son just developed an allergic reaction yesterday after dinner because his cousin accidentally fed him some peanuts, which is something he is highly allergic to.”
“He developed red rashes all over his body, and he told us he felt itchy.”
OP had to think fast.
“I decided to make the move to drive him to the nearest hospital, and it was at that moment I was stopped by my mother in law.”
“She told me that in the midst of this pandemic, it is unnecessary to pay a visit to the doctor, and that it’s putting us at risk of getting the [virus].”
“She said he can have some over the counter medication, sleep it off and it’ll be fine tomorrow. She backed her statement up with how it has happened before, (at that time we were unaware of his peanut allergy), he slept it off and he was fine the next day.”
OP, in the heat of the moment, was forced to consider their mother-in-law’s two cents.
“Now, I’ve heard of stories of how fatal an allergic reaction can turn out so obviously I wasn’t going to put my son’s life at stake just because my mother in law thinks she’s right.”
“I insisted on bringing my son to the hospital, and I did.”
But word spread quickly.
“At the hospital, my husband started sending me a chain of messages asking me why I humiliated his mother by not listening to her, that she sounded logical, and I was just being overly paranoid over an allergic reaction.”
“Apparently, my mother in law is now victimising herself, calling her sisters, crying and complaining about how I went against her wishes.”
“My husband who was working night shift even ended his work earlier just to go back home to appease his mother for my supposed defiance. He didn’t even ask about our child, or drop by at the hospital despite knowing we were there.”
OP found herself in a tough spot when she reflected upon the whole incident.
“The reason why I am starting to doubt my stance is because at the hospital, the paediatrician assured me that it’s just a common allergic reaction, that it wasn’t anything endangering.”
“Things are looking bad on me as a result; as if I was purposefully going against my mother in law because now, she was right about it.”
“AITA here? Should I have listened to her?”
“Now everyone’s turning their backs against me. The same applies to my husband.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors were nearly unanimous in their support of OP.
They shared OP’s decision to treat this very seriously.
“NTA. Go to an allergy doctor and have your kid officially evaluated. Maybe-at this time-an epi pen would be good to have handy, too. Your whole family is a little to blasé about your kid.”
“Imagine the surprised Pikachu face on your MIL’s face if your kid’s throat swelled up and your kid suffocated. And peanuts, they should be banned from the house, in any form, for the foreseeable forever.” — Servantofbosco
“NTA you’re not a doctor, she’s not a doctor. You took him to a doctor. Jesus.”
“You had no way to know how severe that reaction would be and you played it safe, probably because you love your kid and would prefer to not have a funeral for him.”
“Your MIL is insane and a narcissist, your husband supports and enables her toxic behavior, even to the detriment of the health of your child.”
“I wonder, would she still find a way to make herself the victim if he had died after you took her advice?” — TriZARAtops
“NTA 100%. IDK what her mindset is, but what you did was the right thing to do.”
“Her playing the victim because you chose to make sure your child was ok is insane. Sure it was a common reaction, but you chose to be safe than sorry which is 100% what you should do for your child.” — ckbruinfan
One person even offered a story of their own to show how suddenly things can become dangerous.
“An anecdote: One year as a kid, I was stung by a ‘cow ant’ (type of ground wasp) on the bottom of my foot. Foot swelled up, hurt, I got better.”
“Second year, stung again on my foot by same type of wasp. Leg swelled to my knee, hurt like hell, I got better.”
“Third time it happened, again, stung on bottom of my foot, my leg very quickly swelled up to my a**, and my mom took me to urgent care.”
“I was told next time to go directly to the hospital (unsure why I wasn’t prescribed an epi pen lol maybe it was just unavailable for my poor family and our lack of insurance).”
“That next time, anaphylactic reaction may happen, AND that I should avoid wasps of any kind now.”
“The point: Allergies can accelerate even with minimal exposure to the allergen, in a scary way.”
“Your MIL knowing this has happened before without telling you makes me very concerned for the NEXT time it will happen, as she’s not concerned about the child’s reaction, but her own saving of face.”
“NTA, MIL needs to get a firm grip.” — DelightfulAbsurdity
Others were careful not to let OP’s husband off the hook.
“NTA Kid needed to be seen.”
“And you have a husband problem, not a MIL problem.” — ECU_BSN
“NTA, and you have a husband-problem too. Does he often put his mother before you? That’s not OK.” — likeahike
“Unless your MIL is Anthony Fauci or something, 100% NTA.”
“She’s a narcissist and won’t change. The one I’m concerned about for you is your husband, who puts appeasing his self-involved, self-important mother above the health of your child.” — Jonny-Pasadena
“100% NTA.”
“Allergic reactions especially when they develop into full blown anaphylaxis can lead to a very serious situation very quickly.”
“Your MIL sounds like a classic abusive Narcissist so good on you for not reinforcing her behaviour.”
“I’d have a sit down with your husband as well and talk about why he didn’t even ask about how his son was.”
“I’m assuming you told him and that he didn’t just hear it from your MIL who may have spun the story. If you told him how bad it was then you do need a serious chat about his priorities.” — By-the-Emperors
“NTA.”
“If you were right, your son would be fine.”
“If your MIL was right, then your son would be fine.”
“If you were wrong, your son would be fine.”
“If your MIL was wrong, your son would be dead.”
“Anyone who thinks the correct thing to do was to take a chance on killing your son instead of not taking any chances with his life needs to reexamine their priorities.”
“And that’s exactly what I’d tell anyone who thinks you’re wrong.” — Efficient-Toe-199
It was a Reddit thread that served a couple purposes.
First, it gave OP the assurance that they acted exactly as they should have. But it also illustrated, for readers, just how serious allergic reactions can be.