Your relationship with your parents changes when you become an adult. More so when you start your own family.
Sometimes, it doesn’t change enough, as Redditor littletoomuchwine quickly discovered. After getting caught in an embarrassing situation by his parents, the original poster (OP) thought sheepish apologies would be the worst of it.
But things got worse, and OP was forced to take his situation to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA: Made parents uncomfortable and now they don’t want to stay unless we follow their rule”
You’d think a married man wouldn’t have rules from his parents.
“My parents are supposed to be staying in our city for a month. We are all vaccinated and this is the first time we see eachother since lockdown.”
“They were originally staying with my wife and I until this particular incident.”
“On Thursday night my dad bought a couple bottles of wine (really good wine). we ended up drinking probably way more than we should’ve.”
“The thing with wine is when my wife and I have too much of it we start feeling….a certain way. By the time we all went to bed we were just itching to be alone in our room.”
“We may have been a little too overly enthusiastic during the night because the following morning my mom mentioned us being very loud. And they were all the way down the hall.”
That sounds like a nightmare.
“My wife and I were MORTIFIED. We apologized dozens of times and swore we wouldn’t repeat anything like that again.”
“But they both sat us down and said they won’t feel comfortable not knowing if we’re ‘doing anything’ or not unless we agree to sleep with our door wide open. I thought they were joking but my mom was completely serious.”
“We both have a lot of respect for my parents but I said that’s not going to happen. This isn’t highschool, this isn’t my girlfriend coming over and having to follow those ‘door always remains open’ ‘sit a few feet apart on the bed’ rules. She’s my wife and this is our home so we’d like our privacy when we go to bed.”
“My parents said they won’t feel comfortable in our home unless we agree to this so in the end they decided to check into a hotel because we can’t be ‘mature enough’ to be a bit more accommodating to them.”
“Some of my relatives have heard they’re staying in a hotel because I’m sure my parents complained to them so we’re being treated like the bad guys for not making their stay a bit more welcome.”
“Now I do feel bad that they heard us but do think it’s a bit ridiculous that they expect us to always have our door open to ensure we’re not having sex.”
“I feel weird even having to ask this but since everyone else has made it into a big deal since it’s resulted in my parents not wanting to stay with us, are we a**holes?”
On the AITA subReddit, people explain what they did and are judged based on whether or not commenters think they were the titular a**hole.
This is done with one of the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP and his wife are married adults. They maybe got a little out of hand, but they’ve apologized and promised not to repeat the mistake, but OP’s parents asking for the door to remain open is too far.
It’s so far, that commenters said OP was NTA.
“Nta. It surely was a little uncomfortable incident but what they requested is beyond ridiculous.”
“You 2 are a married adult couple. Do they think you never get intimate?”
“They need to grow up.” – jasemina8487
“It’s reasonable to ask you to keep the noise contained. It’s unreasonable to expect you to not have sex with your spouse for an entire MONTH. Seriously wtaf. NTA” – Abba_Zaba_
“NTA. The 4 of you were mortified; and you honestly appear to have not intended to bring your parents into your activity.”
“But for your parents to insist on an open bedroom door is some ridiculous infantilization.”
“I was tempted to say NAH, but really, the request is beyond the pale, and if your parents are complaining about the hotel, then they seem a bit vindictive for not being able to put you to back into highschool world.”
“If instead your parents did the hotel route, while doing a good white lie about you not having a pool and hot tub or what not, I’d go with NAH with an asterisk for their open door request.” – coffee_u
“Hell they could even just be honest with the other family.
“‘Yea we heard them having sex and it really just made us uncomfortable. So we decided to get a hotel so they could have their space and we could beige comfortable being none the wiser.’” – titsoutshitsout
Other people got into debates about the situation. While the parent’s request was unreasonable to some, others thought OP was also being unreasonable in his actions.
This thought gave a judgement of ESH.
“ESH. They don’t have the right to demand an open door in your house and they also have no say in the sex lives of their married children.”
“However, you and your wife going at it in such an over the top way that houseguests, no matter who they are, were forced to listen to it is just as rude.”
“You can compromise and tell them their sleep won’t be interrupted again, on your word. I’d still go to a hotel, because you clearly have no consideration for your guests.” – PupperPuppet
“They were drunk and probably forgot for the moment that they had guests. They also apologized for being so loud when they found out that his parents heard them.”
“It may be uncomfortable but it is OPs house and he is a married man. Mom should relax and if it happens again then she can complain but demanding what she is after one time is ridiculous.” – Squirt1384
“ESH. It is incredibly rude and uncomfortable for them to be able to loudly hear you having sex, and theres a difference between ‘my child has sex with his wife’ and ‘i can actively hear my child and his wife loudly having sex down the hall’. Even if your drunk, you’re still TA for that.”
“but your parents are significantly more TA. Asking for an open door 24/7 for a month is completely unreasonable, and your entitled to not want to do that.”
“Although, i can see why theyd go to a hotel, since they cant really trust that you wont get drunk and do it again.” – charley_warlzz
“How is this ESH? How is asking the son and his wife to not have sex for a month not insane?” – tripwire7
“It is an unfair ask, but them going to a hotel instead is a reasonable compromise, and op is TA because it is incredibly rude to have loud enough sex for your guests to hear you down the hall.”
“I said the parents were ‘significantly more’ TA, im just saying the son’s not innocent here” – charley_warlzz
The worst part of this scenario is the parents badmouthing the son and his wife to other members of the family. This situation should have been kept private and the parents could have covered for why they weren’t staying with their son.
But this is definitely something OP will remember the next time he has guests staying with him.