Babysitting can be stressful.
They are constantly on the move.
They tend to get into everything and have to be watched like hawks.
That’s why long naps are a triumph.
When eyes aren’t on them, mischief can be afoot.
And mischief can cause tons of drama.
Redditor Super_Spud_Eire wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to repair my MIL’s phone after my 18-month-old broke it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So, My M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] was babysitting our L[ittle] O[ne] last night, and for some reason she gave the LO her phone to watch YouTube.”
“Our LO decided she was done, and threw the phone from her high chair, cracking the screen badly.”
“Now we absolutely do not do this.”
“Our LO gets maybe 2 hours of screen time a week, and it’s always on the TV, never a phone.”
“For context, my MIL is very well off… Way more so than us, and the repair bill for her phone is a lot of money to us, especially this close to Christmas.”
“My MIL told my partner that we must pay to repair her phone screen as our daughter broke it.”
“I argued 3 points…”
“1) We were not present at the time.”
“We were not the ones supervising the LO and shouldn’t be accountable.”
“2) My MIL decided to give our child the phone.”
“It was not suggested by us, and as mentioned is not something we ever do ourselves, my MIL knows this.”
“3) The cost of the repair is a significant amount of money to us, but not to her.”
“Our combined income is less than half her sole income.”
“My partner suggested that my MIL pay for the phone and we pay back in installments.”
“MIL refused because she thinks this is an issue we need to figure out.”
“Personally I also don’t agree with us paying her back, the phone was broken due to her own negligence.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“So she was babysitting and decided she didn’t feel like actually watching the child, so she locked her in a high chair and gave her her phone to shut her up for god only knows how long.”
“And you’re in the wrong?”
“For what, entrusting her with your child?”
“NTA. She gave a not even two-year-old a stupidly expensive phone and apparently just left the child to their own devices as if she was there watching something or playing a game with the kid she’d of been holding the phone or at least close enough to keep the kid from throwing it.”
“She gave the kid the phone. This is 100% on her, and I don’t know that I’d trust MIL to watch the baby for a while.”
“At least till they’re old enough to tell you what goes on at Grandma’s place.”
“I’m really wondering how long the LO was unsupervised in the high chair with the phone.”
“She wasn’t paying close enough attention to keep the kid from throwing the phone. What if the little one got antsy and tried to climb out of the chair?” ~ acegirl1985
“And why did she give her the phone to begin with?”
“To keep her occupied so she could have a peaceful cup of tea, maybe?”
“Anyone in their right mind should know you never give a baby something breakable if you don’t want it broken because they throw things. NTA.” ~ Frequent_Couple5498
“Tell her, Yeah we’ll pay for the phone, but you can’t be trusted to babysit our child ever again since you won’t take responsibility that comes with the duty. NTA.” ~ bnk_ar
“If this is the first AH move, it sounds like a basic difference in parenting style.”
“I hate the ‘generational’ argument, but my Mom and I definitely have different parenting ideas, and there are several of those hills she’s willing to die on.”
“NTA at all.”
“I’d say to think about how important this phone is versus your relationship with her.”
“I definitely think a face-to-face conversation is needed, but you still might not come to a consensus on it.” ~ Dull-Supermarket-209
“NTA, and also bad babysitting, so whatever you decide, I wouldn’t let her watch your baby again unsupervised.”
“Buy her the phone, and she’s lost a lot more in return.” ~ Profession_Mobile
“Yeah, NTA at all.”
“When I babysat my cousin, I used to give him my phone to talk to my sister, but it was a Nokia 1100, so if he’d thrown it, I’d have had to look into repairing the floor rather than the phone.”
“Since I graduated to nicer phones I’ve had a strict ‘no small kids’ policy.”
“Her stupid idea, her problem to solve.” ~ PincushionCactus
“NTA. It’s a fragile item, not a child’s toy.”
“I don’t hand things to 18-month-olds that I don’t wish to see thrown (or whatever else crosses the 18-month-old mind) that might break or damage it.” ~ Kris82868
“NTA. The person supervising the child and/or the person who gave a valuable piece of electronic equipment (that was never intended for use by a small child) is 100% responsible for the damage.”
“Oh look! It was your MIL who irresponsibly gave her phone to a small child.”
“There’s the responsible/guilty party right there… It seems like your MIL might need to take a babysitting course because her decision-making is questionable, and I would have to ask what else she plans on allowing your child to play with next: a lighter perhaps?”
“Or a steak knife?”
“Maybe some small magnets??” ~ TrainingDearest
“Completely agree. NTA.”
“I’d be doubly infuriated: one for putting a screen in front of my kid instead of playing with him and two for charging me for her dumb decision to hand an expensive phone to a baby.” ~ bujomomo
“NTA. Another excellent observation and solid reason not to pay for the damage.”
“What kind of fool doesn’t invest in a $50 case to protect an expensive phone?”
“The same kind of fool that hands the phone to an 18-month-old and makes a shocked Pikachu face when the phone gets broken.”
“MIL’s bad judgment and refusal to accept consequences indicates she shouldn’t be left in charge of the ‘other’ toddler.” ~ rationalboundaries
“NTA. Don’t give a baby expensive stuff and then make a shocked Pikachu face when they break it.”
“Any chance MIL deliberately got it broken because she wanted you to pay for a new one, is she that much of an AH?” ~ HA2HA2
OP responded…
“No, I would highly doubt that.”
“She’s not shown any signs of being an AH in the 8 years I’ve been with her daughter, until now.”
“Like financially, if she wanted a new phone, she’d just go buy one, which she does every time Apple makes a release… lol.”
“I just think she genuinely believes, as it was our child, that it is our responsibility.”
“Props for the shocked Pikachu reference… LMAO.”
Reddit continued…
“If LO had gotten the phone on their own accord and broken it, I might lean towards your MIL.”
“LO was given a phone by your MIL, MIL did not properly supervise, and MIL was the responsible party for LO at the time of the phone being damaged.”
“MIL is responsible for LO’s actions.”
“Your NTA and MIL can buy her own durn phone.” ~ sh1tsawantsays
“Totally agree with the phone cases.”
“Well into their teens, my kiddos got the heavy-duty, kick your phone across the football field cases.”
“Well worth something like $60.”
“I paid for each one.”
“NTA and don’t pay for the phone.’
“Anyone who hands a toddler a Phone deserves whatever happens to it.” ~ DrVL2
“NTA. Play stupid games, and win stupid prizes.”
“Though if she can’t be trusted to not give a toddler a filthy and breakable object containing highly toxic batteries at an age they put everything in their mouths, maybe she shouldn’t be trusted with your child.” ~ katycmb
“NTA, I agree.”
“A case is the way.”
“And not letting toddlers play with electronics.”
“A sturdy case doesn’t even have to be expensive.”
“My was $15 on eBay.”
“I have dropped it, had it slide across a tile floor, bounce off the wall, and then land face down.”
“And it didn’t break. Lol.”
“So I’m going to guess she had no cover, handed it to a TODDLER, then was surprised when it got broke?”
“Was she born yesterday, or does she just have no common sense?”
“This is purely on her.” ~ Economy-Cod310
“Time for that child to be responsible for her own behavior.”
“Tell MIL she can ask for the money for the repair after LO graduates from college and has her first post-college job.”
“You were not there to supervise, so it is either the baby’s fault or the person in charge who gave a baby their phone.”
“NTA. Clearly, it was MIL’s responsibility.”
“MIL was a parent and should know this.” ~ toomanyschnauzers
“I agree – what will cost more the phone or replacing a sitter?”
“If you do decide to replace the screen tell MIL this is a one-time deal.”
“She gave the child a phone, it should be her to repair the phone.”
“If you want to keep the peace make sure she knows it is a one-time deal.”
“What will MIL do when your child is playing inside and accidentally bumps the TV?”
“Will you have to replace that too?”
“NTA – she should have known better.”
“Any child in a high chair will throw or bump things off.” ~ Single-Flamingo-33
“NTA. She knowingly caused the situation with her poor choices.”
“She handed the phone to your child.”
“She should have to deal with the natural expectable consequences.”
“You may be best served by paying for the repair so you don’t have to hear about it at every family gathering for the rest of your lives.”
“However, I would make it clear to MIL that while you appreciate her help, she can no longer babysit until your child is much older because you can’t afford the expenses caused by her choices.” ~ latents
“NTA. Don’t give her a cent!”
“If you were supervising LO, then you’d be responsible.”
“She was supervising and made some really bad decisions.”
“Not the 18-month-old’s fault, not your fault, entirely her fault.”
“Did the phone do any damage to your stuff?”
“If LO destroyed something of yours while MIL was in charge, MIL owes you for that.”
“Don’t let MIL evade responsibility for what happened on her watch.”
“Your partner should not be excusing his mother for what she did or even rewarding her for her awful stewardship.” ~ extinct_diplodocus
“NTA, with a caveat.”
“While MIL absolutely did a stupid thing, if it were me I would likely offer to pay a portion, just as a gesture of goodwill as this happened while she was doing you a favor.”
“Pick the bridge you want to burn, she may not help you out again in the future.” ~ scarlettceleste
“NTA- You weren’t even there and MIL accepted the risk the phone would be broken the second she handed it to your kiddo.”
“Stand your ground on this one, especially since y’all don’t even give kiddo your own phones for screen time.”
“So it’s not like it was a typical activity, and she just followed suit.” ~ ThatHellaHighHobbit
“NTA, all three of the points you gave are the exact reason why you don’t owe her anything.”
“Especially the point about her being the one supervising your baby at the time.”
“No one forced her to give your baby her phone.”
“Just don’t expect her to babysit again anytime soon because she won’t accept that you don’t owe her.”
“Really it’s a choice of paying up to continue having her help with babysitting or sticking your ground and knowing you’ll have to hire someone else.” ~ anbaric26
“I’m of the you break it, you buy it.”
“However, this is one of the few times I’m like, uh, no.”
“Actions meet consequences.”
“You don’t give a $1500 device to a baby/toddler. NTA.” ~ Federal-Ferret-970
“If this passes, let me know because I have plenty of relatives with young children.”
“I’ll just ask them if I can babysit them whenever I need a new tv, stereo, laptop… does furniture pass?”
“Oh, and NTA.” ~ AggravatingInjury137
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your MIL should’ve known better. Who gives a toddler an iPhone and then walks away?
This is a tough situation, though.
She doesn’t sound like she plans on letting up.
Good luck.