Choosing a name for a pet is a lot less restrictive than naming a human for obvious reasons. It’s not like the other dogs at the park will mock them because of it.
At least as far as we humans know.
A husband in a conflict over his wife’s choice of dog names turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Marcusbartenew asked:
“AITA for not letting my wife name our dog something stupid?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (32, male) have been married to my wife Natalie (30, female) for 4 years now. We have been living together with our 2 cats, Viktor and Warwick, since.”
“The cats were mine before we got together, both of which I named after my favorite video game. Well, since Nat and I have been living together, she has been begging for a dog.”
“Nat grew up with a Golden Retriever which she adored, and she had been pleading for us to get one. I was hesitant at first.”
“I’ve never been much of a dog guy and I was unsure how the cats would react to having a dog around. Well, this Christmas, as a late Christmas gift, I caved, and surprised Nat with a Retriever puppy.”
“I gave her permission to name the dog anything she wanted.”
“B*tch. She chose B*tch.”
“She said it’d be funny, and she’d always thought naming a female dog ‘B*tch’ was comical. I found it less funny.”
“Not only would vets look down on us, but every Sunday, Nat and I babysit the neighbor’s kids: 8, female and 6, male. What do we say when the kids ask about the fact the dog would have a collar with ‘B*tch’ on it?”
“She said that we could make something up when they are around, which isn’t a bad idea, but maybe confusing for the dog? But she didn’t have much to say when I asked what would happen when we have kids.”
“We have been trying for kids. I tried making that point to her with naming the dog. She didn’t seem to care.”
“I thought the name was stupid and told her no.”
“She said, ‘It’s funny! It’s like naming a cat p*ssy!’.”
“Still not funny, in my opinion.”
“She told me I had just said she could name the dog, which is true, but I said I paid for the dog, and should at least approve the name. It’s our dog after all.”
“She said I was an a**hole for taking away the freedom to name the puppy.”
“AITA?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“My wife thinks I’m the a**hole because the puppy was her gift, and she should name it.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“I thought you were going to say something weird, not deplorable. Are yall planning on having kids…? NTA.” ~ audreynstuff
“When I was growing up, I had a friend who very proudly called her cat what she would have sworn it was called—Damnit Cat.”
“Apparently her parents so frequently said things like ‘Damnit, cat, get off of the counter!’ and ‘Damnit, cat, stop playing with that’ and such that she (and her brother) were fully convinced that was the cat’s name.”
“So when she was asked to talking about her ‘family’ in class she named the cat what she thought was correct.”
All of that to say that kids say sh*6 whether you want them to or not and you’ll 100% get the neighbor kids in trouble if they go home talking about how ‘we played with B*tch today!’.”
“NTA, OP. At all.” ~ baronessindecisive
“I’m sure your kids D*ck and P*ssy will love their dog B*tch when they grow up. NTA.” ~ LindonLilBlueBalls
“As a 34-year-old mother to 3, STOP TRYING TO HAVE KIDS UNTIL THIS IS SORTED. She is not mature enough to be a mother to humans.”
“And get some couples counseling because if her first instinct is to name a defenseless puppy B*tch because it’s funny, I would be concerned about other personality traits she may be hiding from you that would raise questions when having kids together.” ~ Environmental_Art591
“This. So much this. She’s not mature enough to name a dog. Do not impregnate her.” ~ the_harlinator
“She thinks she’s such an edgelord.” ~ UsernameStolenbyyou
“My high-schooler is more mature than OP’s wife.” ~ NomadicusRex
“Most high-schoolers are more mature than OP’s wife. This is something I’d maybe expect from a pre-teen who still giggles over the nonsexual usage of the words ‘nuts’ and ‘balls’.” ~ Sorry_I_Guess
“I can count on one hand the things that would cause me to look someone I love in the eyes and say, ‘Are you f*cking stupid?’.”
“I try to be more gentle in my approach. This would definitely be on that list.” ~ snobal60
“NTA. Seriously, I am the last person to judge swearing, I’m Australian and I swear like one. But that is absolutely dumb as f*ck. It’s not appropriate on so many levels.”
“Even outside of the vet and the neighbours, what about when she takes the dog for a walk or goes to the dog park? Is she really going to just call out to ‘B*tch’?”
“Does she honestly think no one is ever going to say something?”
“Eventually you’re gonna get some disgruntled parent coming up to ask why the hell you’re calling out bitch in front of their kids. There’s a time and place and this is not it.” ~ imamage_fightme
“Also, there’s a likely chance that when she goes to the dog park and calls out ‘B*tch’, someone could misunderstand and think she’s calling them a b*tch and that could turn into a very uncomfortable situation in seconds flat. NTA.” ~ Your_Auntie_Viv
“Exactly! It is literally a fight waiting to happen. The wife is more than old enough to understand that it’s a terrible idea.”
“I can’t fathom anyone over the age of 15 thinking this was in any way a good name choice. NTA.” ~ imamage_fightme
“She probably legit thinks other people will find it funny too, and when they don’t she’ll think they’re the ones who have the problem. NTA.” ~ Rooney_Tuesday
“As an Aussie who swears a lot and occasionally calls my cat a silly b*tch; if I met someone who actually named their pet a swear or a slur… I wouldn’t find it funny.”
“Swear at ’em as a fond joke? Give them a middle name so you can use it like a their full government name when they’re being a sh*t? Top tier comedy.”
“Your dog’s real name is B*tch? That tells me you want an excuse to swear in settings social norms say you shouldn’t swear in (weak) or you’re emotionally distancing from that animal by using technical terminology. It’s calling your dog ‘dog’ or your horse ‘mare/gelding/stallion’ as a name.”
“It’s not a proper name because it doesn’t do what a name does; names personalise a thing to us. It makes that animal ours. It’s emotional, it’s bonding.”
“Farmers don’t name their cattle or livestock, they use the technical terms because it’s distant and detached the same way bitch is.”
“B*tch is not a name. Miss B*tch Von Barkserson is a name. One could be any dog, one is a very specific dog. NTA.” ~ WadeStockdale
“Or if the dog gets loose, is the wife going to go around yelling ‘B*tch!’?”
“OP definitely shouldn’t. It’s not going to seem cute when a woman does it, but it’s gonna look a lot uglier to strangers if it’s a guy—especially if any women/girls are in earshot.” ~ Greenbriar
The OP provided an update.
“Thank you all for the kind words and advice. My wife ended up finding out about this post through a YouTube short, which I find funny since I never thought this post would blow up.”
“I am at work now and we are trying to work it out over text, but my wife is still being pretty stubborn and she doesn’t like how people are talking bad about her on Reddit now. Hoping we can reach a happy medium.”
“I wanted to clear a few things up.”
“First, when I say ‘give permission’ I should have worded it ‘name the dog without my input.’ Usually when naming a pet, it is in agreement of the two people. All I said to Nat was ‘What are you gonna name her?’.”
“And second, when I say ‘begging for a dog,’ I know she could get her own. I just don’t like dogs and when she tried to convince me, I’d say no usually.”
“Mutual agreement, again.”
“I saw some people saying I was in the wrong because of the way I worded those parts of the story. So, I clarified a little.”
“Anyways, we have since talked about the dog name and are still in a tiff. She is refusing to budge on her stance.”
“I might just have to give in, as much as I don’t like the idea.”
While the outcome might not be to the OP’s liking, the dog will be fine with their name.
The neighbors who have to hear someone yelling that name?
Maybe not so much.