Not everyone is comfortable with family aiding in the parenting process.
Despite some real danger, this proved true for Redditor Less_Sense1403’s sister-in-law.
The Original Poster (OP) was so caught off guard by their SIL’s reaction that they turned to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
They asked:
“AITA for telling my brother that I want an apology from his wife and not him?”
They went on to tell the full story.
“My 11 year old son goes to a skate park after school with his friends who include his cousin/my nephew Jack who is also 11.”
“I went to pick up both boys when I saw a crowd of kids by the fence. I went over and asked what was so interesting and they pointed to a snake.”
“Not just a snake, but a rattlesnake. They had never seen one before (maybe outside a zoo) and I assume they were trying to get it to strike because they didn’t think they’d get bit.”
“I told them all to get away from it and they did except Jack who actually got closer with his phone.”
“I think he wanted to get a closeup video of the snake striking. I yelled at him to get away and he told me to hold on.”
“I took him by his arm and pulled him away. He gave me this angry stare.”
“I told him what the f*ck? That snake could kill you. He gave me the silent treatment until his mom picked him up.”
“Then 20 minutes she called me up in a rage about how I grabbed him and did this and did that and hurt him etc. and I’m not his dad.”
“I asked her if her sweet angel told her about the rattlesnake that he was provoking. She said what snake. I hung up.”
“She called up again and said that I still owed her and Jack an apology for handling him.”
“I told her to STFU and check his phone and see if I did any of that stuff as his camera was recording everything.”
“An hour later, my brother called me up and said what Jack did was stupid and he was happy I was there but I still owed his wife an apology for telling her to STFU.”
“I said I’m not apologizing for nothing. At least until she apologizes to me for coming at me sideways twice.”
“To be honest, I don’t even care because I don’t like her anyways.”
“He apologized, and I said not acceptable. She needs to apologize.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. You did anything wrong. Bruh, if you didn’t end up helping Jack, he would be snake poo rn. You’re right to demand your SIL for an apology.” – GlitterGlop
“Completely agree. NTA.”
“If you talk to your brother again about this, I’d straight up tell him you might consider apologizing for telling her to STFU after she apologizes for coming in hot, berating you without questioning why you grabbed her kid in the first place and shows she understands how severe the consequences could have gotten had you not taken action.”
“And then MAYBE I’d give her something like ‘I’m sorry. I was upset that you were angry with me for trying to save your son’s life, perhaps I shouldn’t have assumed that was something you would want me to do, but that doesn’t mean I should tell you to “shut up.” Next time I’ll just hang up and let my brother deal with you instead.’”
“Because what the hell is SIL’s problem that she cares more about how you talked to her than the danger her son was in!?” – thaliagorgon
“NTA.”
“I had a somewhat similar experience when I was in grad school. Waiting at a bus stop, and a little boy jumped into the street for his toy…right in front of the bus.”
“The bus wasn’t going to stop for another 10 feet. I grabbed him by both shoulders and jumped back, and we both fell onto the sidewalk, but clear of the street and the bus.”
“His mother was about 30 or 40 feet away, and she ran up and started screaming her head off that I’d attacked her boy.”
“I suspect she’d have gotten violent with me if there wasn’t a small group of folks who were helping us up and making sure we were okay.”
“Someone, maybe a bus driver told her that her boy might’ve been dead instead of having a skinned elbow.”
“She still didn’t apologize and just turned her anger on the bus driver, who she accused of trying to kill her boy.”
“It really was something else. I left my name and number with the bus driver, in case that woman made a complaint like she threatened because the driver hadn’t done anything wrong, either.” – KaliTheBlaze
“NTA.”
“Your SIL needs to apologize.”
“And LEARN that you don’t just listen to kids then go nuclear. YOU ASK QUESTIONS!”
“If she had asked questions like a normal human, then she would not have gone nuclear. She has issues. And she is teaching her son that he is a precious being that no one can discipline!”
“I mean seriously. It was a bloody rattlesnake, and you were yelled at for manhandling him!”
“Yeah she owes you a big apology and also needs to take some anger management and parenting classes.”
“She is teaching her kid that he can lie and she will go full nuclear. Rather than teaching her kid about the ‘boy who cried wolf’”. – LetsGetsThisPartyOn
“NTA.”
“Tbh. The nephew owes you an apology too.”
“For not telling his mother about the snake.” – kritz0
“NTA. Honestly, how do boys live past 13?” – Bella-1999
“Nta, she was clearly very aggressive toward you in the call, so just because she was wrong, she deserves the apology?”
“Definitely not how the world works. You did the kid a favor; there’s nothing for you to be sorry for” – theholidayarmadillo3
“NTA.”
“Rattesnake bite treatment/hospitalization/antivenom can cost in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.” – Eadiacara
“NTA. your SIL needs to apologize, not your brother. She should actually be thanking you for saving Jack from his own stupidity.” – BorderRoyal1106
“NTA.”
“So you stop her son from seriously injuring himself, and she thinks it’s okay to call you screaming”
“She started this argument she absolutely should apologize and so should nephew for 1 endangering himself then 2 lying about you” – Mogwai_92
“Nta. It would only be everyone sucks if you’d be rude the first time.”
“She put you on blast before she knew the whole story, and when she found out, instead of thanking you for saving her brat, she put you on blast again.”
“And because you reacted to that, she put you on blast a 3rd time, getting your brother to call you.”
“Sounds like she can’t accept being wrong. The apology needs to come from her.”
“If you apologize after that it might help, but she can’t just demand you apologize after the way she behaved.” – UnderArmAussie
“NTA, although rattlesnakes rarely kill, he still could’ve f*cking died. You just saved a kid’s life, and you’re telling me that she’s mad at you for doing just that?” – SylwekF
“NTA, I personally wouldn’t take a kid with me anywhere that will say I mishandled them. Who says they don’t do it again?” – Happyweekend69
“NTA – Imagine if you’d left him and he’d got bitten.”
“Not only would your SIL be yelling that you should have done something, but from the sound of her, she might also have claimed that you owed her for the medical bills, and/or she would have blamed you for her son’s death if it had worked out that way.”
“She should have been thanking you, not berating you!”
“This was the best outcome, and your SIL owes you a massive apology.” – Catatomical
“NTA for literally saving your nephew’s life. She owes you an apology AND a thank you.”
“Your apology, ‘I’m sorry I saved your son’s life. Next time he provokes a rattlesnake, I will respect his choices and not intervene.’” – WinterBourne25
“Man, when I was about 7 or 8, my friend’s mom grabbed me by my shirt collar and hurled me backward from their porch through the front door.”
“I had been about to step right onto a rattlesnake curled up in front of the steps.”
“Don’t think my parents considered calling her up later to yell at her about it, even though I definitely got a bit bruised up from the entryway’s wooden floor.”
“It was far more important to them that I was alive.”
“NTA” – Katarra
“NTA, + Jack is going to grow up to be such a little sh*t because of how his parents just auto-defend him like that.”
“Personally, I wouldn’t even demand that your sister-in-law apologize. I would demand that they discipline Jack for 1) not listening to his uncle in a dangerous situation and 2) lying to and manipulating his mother into thinking his uncle abused him.”
“Defending/reinforcing bad behavior is a much bigger deal than her disrespecting you.” – Pugstranaught
This OP’s SIL should be thankful that nothing worse happened to her son.
Perhaps she’ll ask for a more detail account of what happened before spitting venom of her own next time.