As the saying goes:
“Religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one and it’s fine to be proud of it, but please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around.”
A high school student who’s dealing with someone’s aggressive religious expression in non-church or religious places turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Equivalent-Food2138 asked:
“AITA for telling my friend to ‘Stop forcing Jesus onto me’ because of her ridiculous level of Christianness?
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (18, female) am with this girl Jessica (18, female) in the same friend group in high school. Jessica is a devout Christian and goes to a Presbyterian church every Sunday for mass.”
“I have no problem with this, and it was nice to see that she was able to live a happier life because of her Christianity. Her religious expression was very normal and nuanced at first.”
“She would do things like wearing a cross necklace, adding Bible verses to her social media, etc. The issue came when she would show up to our lunch table with a Bible and keep reminding us about how ‘God is Great’, etc.
“The last straw came when she had made a separate Instagram account dedicated to making posts about the Bible and telling people how to live a holy life.”
“She had even tried to make her own Christian podcast at one point.”
“At one lunchtime, she told us she was ranting about how ‘offensive’ it was for people to wear things like cross jewelry when they weren’t even Christian and how egregious ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’—one of my favorite musicals—was.”
“I told her that while her religious beliefs were fine, me and my friends were frankly getting sick and tired of her bringing Jesus, God and the Bible into every single conversation, as well as on her social media.”
“I also further reminded her that recontextualizations of the Bible were perfectly fine and that the musical was a medium to explore the humanity of Jesus, because frankly he is human like us.”
“Jessica got offended and looked at me coldly before responding with, ‘Are you suggesting you’re better than Jesus?’ I got sick and tired of her at this point and said to her sarcastically, ‘Look, Jesus loves you, but he wants you to shut the f*ck up’.”
“I then got heated in the moment and told her that her level of devoutness was extremely ridiculous before telling her that she didn’t need to make her ‘Christianness’ her entire personality. I also bluntly told her it seemed like she was subtly suggesting she was better than the rest of us just because she practiced her Christianity a lot.”
“Jessica hasn’t talked to me since then and I’m wondering if I did overstep a little bit. My friends agree with me, saying that Jessica’s behaviour was extremely weird and that she was a hypocrite.”
“Meanwhile, my inner self is feeling conflicted. I feel like the sarcasm/swearing was stooping down to her level.”
“So Reddit, AITA here?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I think the swearing and sarcastic remarks might’ve been a bit unnecessary, and furthermore, I’m wondering if my actions are making it seem like Jessica doesn’t have the right to practice Christianity.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“‘Jesus loves you, but Jesus wants you to shut the f*ck up’. Gawd. This should be the tagline for ththEvangelical rhetoric of the next presidential election. NTA.” ~ Reddit
“NTA, and Jess’ response asking you if you were better than Jesus is ridiculous and clearly didn’t address the point you were making.”
“Her having a religious Instagram/starting a podcast are both fine—you don’t need to follow or listen to them if you don’t want to.”
“The issue is her bringing religion up in every conversation and seeking to control how others behave, and it’s totally reasonable to call her out on that.”
“I don’t think that your being sarcastic makes you an a**hole, as she sounds incredibly annoying, but I think it probably means that you failed to communicate clearly.”
“If she does start speaking to you again, then maybe explain to her that you respect her faith and her right to practice it but that it is rude and disrespectful of her to try to control how other people practice or express their faith—or lack of it.”
“Or to try to impose her views on others. And that socially it gets very tedious if one person is constantly bringing up the same subject where their interest is not shared by others, and that that is the stage she has reached with her religion.”
“Also, her implying that she is better than the rest of you because of her faith is not subtle. She is absolutely implying that she and people who think like her are better than anyone who doesn’t share their views.”
“And she is being judgemental as hell, which is very unchristian, but I doubt that she would be willing to see that.” ~ ProfessorYaffle1
“It’s funny how the loudest Christians are usually the ones who totally miss the point of Jesus’s teachings. She should spend less time making podcast and more time volunteering at the food ppantrie. NTA.” ~ No_Magazine2270
“NTA. Really, these Christians should read their own book, starting at Matthew 6:5:”
“‘And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others’.” ~ Baby_Blue_Eyes_13
“NTA. If you do feel bad about how you expressed your frustrations, then definitely apologize for that. But don’t apologize for being sick and tired of the God talk.”
“It’s easy to make something your whole personality, especially as a teen. Sometimes it takes some painful reminders that it’s not fun for others to hear about it 24/7.” ~ TAMeaniePies
“NTA. ‘Look, Jesus loves you, but he wants you to shut the f*ck up’.”
“Nailed it in one. No one should be forcing their beliefs onto anyone else.” ~ Apart-Ad-6518
“NTA. Everyone should treat religion like their genitals.”
“It’s a private thing. Keep it to yourself unless you have express consent to share with somebody close to you.”
“Other people don’t need to hear about it on a daily basis.”
“Other people don’t need to hear how you feel it might impact their lives.”
“If you make it a core part of your personality, you will be thought of as weird.” ~ I_Will_in_Me_Hole
“My grand aunt used to bring up her digestive system issues, bowel movements, poo texture, etc… whenever someone started talking religion to her. Worked every time.” ~ notcomplainingmuch
“Christian here! NTA from me. So it’s great to have beliefs. It’s great to be happier with the Lord in your life. It’s not okay to ram Him down people’s throats because literally all you will accomplish is turning them away from God.”
“It’s also not okay to go Holier than Thou. Ever. We’re all flawed. Believing does not make you a better person. How you treat people, how kind you are, how generous, that stuff—that’s what makes you a good person.”
“It’s an easy trap for religious people to fall into. I don’t know how hearing sermons of love and joy make people judge and jury, but it fricken does.” ~ BeMandalorTomad
“Yeah, I did this when I was a kid and my church youth leader wanted us to go out and tell all our friends that they would go to Hell if they didn’t shape up. As a kid, I thought this was what I needed to do.”
“Didn’t turn out well, pretty much lost all those friends forever. I did grow up and changed churches to one that is not so overtly critical of others views.” ~ Knit_pixelbyte
“NTA. You were 100% correct. If my friends weren’t into my pastimes and I insisted on talking about nothing else, I would expect to be told to shut up too.” ~ mismanaged
“NTA. While you didn’t necessarily have to clap back, Jessica’s behavior was becoming increasingly rude and disrespectful to you and your friend group.”
“This was going to boil over at some point, and now it has. I don’t think you’re an a**hole for what you said. But words do have consequences, even accurate ones, and the result may be that Jessica will no longer be your friend. Such is life.” ~ cascadia1979
“NTA. But I would like to remind folks that this is part of the plan. Force the followers to alienate themselves from the rest of us, lose contact with non-believers due to their forceful proselytizing, and engrain their doctrine deeper into their minds.”
“People can be religious all they want, but it’s good to remember that there is an overarching narrative that happens over and over again with cult mentalities.” ~ throwaway85939584
“NTA. And religion isn’t making your friend happier. It’s making them judgmental and annoying. This is why the next generations are foregoing organized religion.” ~ TumbleweedLoner
“NTA. She was forcing her beliefs on EVERYONE! This idea that it’s her duty to preach will get her excluded from everything but her church.”
“Maybe she needs a reminder about accepting everyone, leaving judgment to the Lord. Probably won’t help, but it might be worth a try.” ~ DrObnxs
Religious conversations should only occur with consent from all parties.
And if no one asks about your religion, they probably don’t want to hear about it.