While they’re supposed to be fun-filled times celebrating two people’s love for one another, weddings have a funny way of bringing out the worst in some people.
And sometimes the worst costs a lot of money in that expensive industry, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Expert-Letterhead612 was shocked when her sister, who was supposed to be her Maid of Honor, got drunk at her wedding reception and then announced to everyone that it was “unfair” that she had gotten married.
But when her parents later blamed her sister’s behavior on her mental health issues, the Original Poster (OP) thought the situation couldn’t get worse, at least until her parents tried to force her to pay for her sister’s therapy sessions.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for refusing to pay for my sister’s therapy after she ruined my wedding?”
The OP was excited to get married.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. My (29 Female) wedding was supposed to be the best day of my life, right?”
“You know the drill, months of planning, stress, money, all that stuff.”
“My sister (25 Female) was my Maid of Honor, and she’s always had a flair for drama. But I figured she could keep it together for one day. Spoiler alert: she didn’t.”
As it turned out, the OP’s sister was harboring a like of jealousy.
“Fast forward to the big day. Everything went smoothly until the reception.”
“My sister got wasted, like, falling over, crying, causing-a-scene wasted. She started ranting about how I ‘always get everything’ and how my wedding was just another example of me being the ‘golden child.’ This was in front of all my guests, including my in-laws.”
“It got worse. She actually grabbed the mic during the speeches and started going off about her ‘struggles’ and how it was not fair that I was happily married while she was single. At my wedding.”
“The whole vibe turned awkward, and my husband’s family was just… shocked. People started leaving early, and I spent the rest of the night trying to put out fires instead of enjoying what was supposed to be our special day.”
Then the OP’s parents reacted in a way she did not expect.
“Now, weeks later, my parents say my sister is struggling with her mental health (no kidding), and they want me to pay for her therapy.”
“Their reasoning is that since I’m the ‘successful’ one, I should help out, and it would show that I’m a good sister.”
“But like, she ruined my wedding! I don’t think I should have to foot the bill for her meltdown. I’m still angry about the whole thing, and honestly, I feel like she owes me an apology first.”
“But my parents think I’m being cold-hearted and that it’s my responsibility to support her. They’re pressuring me hard, but I just don’t think it’s fair to ask me to pay for something she clearly needs to take accountability for.”
“Maybe I just need to learn to say no and stop letting them guilt-trip me. They’re acting like it’s all on me just because I’m ‘more stable’ or whatever. But it feels like they’re just passing the responsibility instead of dealing with it (and how they parented her) themselves.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that she was not responsible for anything but getting an apology.
“You’re definitely not the a**hole here. Your sister’s drunken outburst at your wedding was totally unacceptable and ruined what should have been a beautiful day for you.”
“It’s ridiculous that your parents expect you to pay for her therapy when she clearly needs to take responsibility for her actions first. Their reasoning that you should support her because you’re the ‘successful’ one is not only unfair but also reinforces her entitlement.”
“She owes you a serious apology before anyone even thinks about therapy.” – Maddyyyyyyx
“Blaming one child for another child’s bad behavior and then also demanding they pay for the therapy they must have caused their sibling to need? That’s not the way parenting works.”
“I could understand if you said their financially strapped and could not afford it, and they asked if you could assist.”
“But this sounds like they’re actually blaming you for it and saying you need to fix the mistake.”
“I wouldn’t even engage them in this conversation, but only say that ‘my financial status’ is not up for debate or discussion.” – Vegetable-Cod-2340
“NTA. Your sister’s actions at your wedding went beyond a simple mistake; they highlighted deeper issues she’s been avoiding.”
“You worked hard to create a memorable day, and her drunken tirade ruined it for everyone.”
“It’s unfair for your parents to pressure you into paying for her therapy when she hasn’t taken accountability. She needs to confront her struggles rather than shift the blame onto you.” – maddyylove
“I’ll bet anyone ten dollars that the OP’s sister will only go to therapy if it’s the OP footing the bill, because it appears in her head that all her problems are the OP’s fault and therefore the OP who needs to pay to solve them. F**k that noise. NTA, OP.” – nick_shannon
“You need to tell them, ‘Mom, Dad, you’re the ones who raised my sister to be the kind of person to ruin her own sister’s wedding out of jealousy. You’re the ones responsible for her entire existence. You’re the ones on the hook for her therapy. I will not entertain this matter any further.'” – AllegraO
“I personally find it comical that the sister is calling OP the golden child but the parents are pressing OP to pay for therapy and not even expecting the sister to apologize. Absolutely wild.” – nerdymummy
Others agreed and encouraged the OP to cut or minimize contact with the family.
“I’m so sorry, OP. I was in a similar situation, except it was my own mother who did this (walked around telling everyone I was dead and that it was my funeral, started smashing things, talking badly about me, tried to push the cake on the floor, physically attacked me, and eventually face planted in the parking lot while trying to steal).”
“My dad had the audacity to get mad at me and thought I should just let it go because ‘everyone behaved like a**holes.’ Please note, no, not everyone did. Just him, my mother, and my brother.”
“I went NC (no contact). If I were you, I’d take a break from your family of origin, too. This isn’t your responsibility to fix and frankly, shame on your parents for not reeling her in and letting her behave like that.”
“You owe them nothing. Do not pay for her therapy. NTA.” – vinegargirl757
“Stop letting them pressure you! Once you tell them no and they keep bringing it up, the next time you say, ‘This is no longer open for discussion. That’s it.'”
“You shut it down every time. Do not let your parents manipulate you. NTA.” – mcmurrmi
“If I were you, I probably wouldn’t even be talking to my sister, let alone paying for her therapy!”
“Your sister decided to ruin your wedding; you don’t owe her anything.”
“And seriously? Asking for money before even apologizing? I hate to say it, but your sister is an awful person in my eyes.”
“Good luck in your marriage, OP, and NTA.” – Lilia_333
“NTA.”
“OP, tell your parents you’re not discussing this issue again. When they text, block. When they call, hang up. In-person, leave.”
“She is THEIR CHILD and THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. Not yours. Why in bloody h**l did THEY not drag her drunk a** out when she started her drama? It’s inexcusable that they watched it happen and let it get WORSE.”
“In my opinion, your sister AND parents owe you and your spouse apologies for allowing her to ruin your wedding.”
“I’d be low contact forever, and escalate to no contact if they don’t stop harassing you to pay for THEIR obligation.” – MizPeachyKeen
“The wedding fiasco is an example of all the crap you were raised with and you do not want to bring any of that into your marriage or your future children.”
“Tell your parents the only person you’ll be paying for therapy for is yourself to deal with all the crap you’ve had to deal with and that they best get their own house in order. They bore her and raised her to be this person and now they can pay to fix her.” – ZombieHealthy2616
“I think you need to tell your parents they have to pay for the therapy, more likely they are the cause of your sister’s mental health issues, and regardless of whether you are successful or not it is not up to you to pay for her problems.”
“I would simply tell them very politely to f off. Not your job, not your responsibility, not your problem.”
“And it would probably be a really good idea to minimize contact with your family so you have a chance to lead a normal and healthy and happy life with your husband.” – poochwooch
“Let me see if I can get this straight:”
“1. You know she has a ‘flair for drama,’ but you, at 29 and with a fully formed pre-frontal cortex, assume she will keep it together. Therefore, you did not have a plan to handle her.”
“2. When drama even Stevie Wonder could see does, in fact, ensue, your family and YOU just let it happen. No one grabs the mic, no one escorts her out… the s**t show is allowed to go on to the point of awkwardness and your embarrassment.”
“3. And now, after having your special day ruined, you are actually feeling guilty about HER meltdown, though you saw it coming and contemplating paying her therapy bill?”
“NTA (yet) and, at 29, you should know this but your toe is on the line of self-a**holery and will go over it if you give in. Please don’t reward her for ruining your wedding. Remember, your husband and his family had a ruined day too.”
“If necessary, get a titanium spine transplant, tell your parents no, and lower contact for a while until they come to their senses. Who needs to start out a milestone like this?” – QBerengaria
The subReddit was shocked by how the OP had been treated and by the fact that she was being held responsible for her treatment.
It was clear to the subReddit that the sister needed to apologize to the OP for ruining her wedding and for the OP to distance herself from these family members because, really, the only person who should be paying for anything is the sister reimbursing the OP for the wedding DJ.