Being an aunt or uncle is one of life’s great joys.
You get to have fun and spend time with kids you love, and then you get to send them home with their parents when you’re tired.
Plus, your nieces and nephews love spending time with you because they get all the play with none – or very few – of the consequences.
Sometimes, however, you’re guilted into spending extra time, i.e. babysitting, with those little angels and soon realize you were not aware of all the extra ‘”perks.”
A woman on Reddit refuses to ever babysit for her sister again after her three children completely trashed her tidy apartment, so she turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor Infamous_Angle_385 asked:
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (26/F[emale]) live in a small one-bedroom apartment.”
“I’m very neat and take pride in keeping my space clean and organized.”
“My sister Laura (32/F[emale]) has three kids, ages 6, 4, and 2.”
“She’s always asking me to babysit, and while I love my nieces and nephews, I rarely have time to help since I work full-time and am also studying for my master’s degree.”
“Last month, Laura begged me to watch the kids for a few hours because she had an ’emergency’ at work.”
“I was hesitant, but she promised they’d be on their best behavior, so I agreed.”
“Big mistake.”
“Within 30 minutes of them arriving, my apartment was chaos.”
“The 6-year-old spilled juice all over my couch, the 4-year-old broke a lamp trying to ‘catch a fly,’ and the 2-year-old thought it would be fun to throw my books off the shelf.”
“I tried to keep calm, but it was a complete disaster.”
“By the time Laura came to pick them up four hours later, my apartment looked like a tornado had hit it.”
“She barely apologized, just said, ‘Kids will be kids,’ and left.”
“I was fuming.”
“It took me hours to clean everything up, and the lamp they broke was a gift from my grandmother that had sentimental value.”
“The next day, I told Laura that I wouldn’t be babysitting for her again unless she made sure the kids were under control.”
“She got defensive, saying I was ‘overreacting’ and that I ‘don’t understand what it’s like to be a mom.'”
“She’s now angry at me for ‘refusing to help family,’ and some of our relatives are siding with her, saying I should ‘lighten up.'”
“I feel bad because I know she’s a single mom and could really use the help, but I also don’t think it’s fair to let her kids trash my place and then act like it’s no big deal.”
“I didn’t even ask her to replace the lamp because I know she’s strapped for cash, but her lack of accountability is frustrating.”
“AITAH for refusing to babysit her kids again?”
Redditors weighed in and decided OP was not the a**hole (NTA) in the situation.
“NTA.”
“Tell your sister that her other relatives are offering to keep them since they have so much to say.” – DetroitSmash-8701
“I ‘don’t understand what it’s like to be a mom.'”
“Right, because you didn’t make that choice, she did.”
“And you don’t have to deal with the repercussions of her choice, either.”
“It’s entirely up to you to babysit or not.”
“That said, nobody is going to be able to control what their kids behave like when they’re not around.”
“They might be angels when she’s there, but that all goes to hell if you aren’t as disciplinary as she might be.”
“NTA.” – thewoodsiswatching
“NTA, but if you want to help your sister, tell her you will babysit but not at your place.” – Jumpy-Figure-4082
“NTA, but I think you need to be more aware of what 4—and 2-year-olds are capable of. They need eyes on them 24/7.”
“The 6yo should know how to handle a drink.”
“Tell her next time if you babysit, it will be at her place.” – mommacrossx3
“NTA, but in fairness, you let them destroy your house, not your sister.”
“She wasn’t there.”
“I totally get that your house isn’t childproofed, so if you babysit, it needs to be at your sister’s house.”
“At the same time, though, if you are watching kids that young, you literally have to keep an eye on them.”
“Your expectation that they would come over and sit quietly was unrealistic.” – stickywebbb
“NTA. They literally trashed your house.”
“If she can’t teach her kids to respect other peoples homes she can pay for daycare or a babysitter.” – VII_187
“‘She got defensive, saying I was ‘overreacting’ and that I ‘don’t understand what it’s like to be a mom.'”
“And she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a sister if she can’t grasp why you have a legitimate reason to be both upset and unwilling to babysit her kids anytime soon.”
“NTA.” – Owenashi
“NTA. Your sister should have respected your space and belongings, and it’s understandable that you don’t want to deal with that again.”
“Maybe suggest an alternative form of childcare if you’re unable to watch the kids in the future.”
“Also, it’s not your responsibility to replace the broken lamp, it was her children’s behavior that caused it.”
“She needs to take responsibility for her kids’ actions.” – spicyyymargot
“NTA.”
“You don’t need to know what it’s like to be a mom.”
“You know what it’s like to have an orderly apartment and some respect, two things you were without when she returned to get her kids.”
“Your feelings are valid.”
“You’re not overreacting when something priceless was broken, and there was no apology to be heard.”
“Set your boundaries and respect them.”
“Hopefully the rest of the judgemental family that is siding with her can also take their turns jumping in to help.” – Advanced-Control-885
“NTA because it seems the issue is that you’re not used to having to supervise 3 kids in that age group, this is how they are in a new environment with a person they feel safe with.”
“I have that exact age group myself, and they are so much work to keep on top of, absolute tornadoes/mess machines.”
“I think if she apologizes for your house getting trashed and you’re comfortable with babysitting again, maybe only babysit at her place from now on because it will be set up for kids of that age :)”
“Best of luck!” – rebelmumma
“NTA.”
“It’s not your fault she’s a single mother, so it’s not your responsibility.”
“Also if some family members are siding with your sister, then tell them to babysit” – Petty-Betty-76
“Of course, you ‘don’t know what it’s like to be a mom’ because you never signed up to be one and shouldn’t have this forced on you.”
“NTA. You aren’t free labor.”
“Also, why do people never pay back for things their own child broke ?!” – deyra_khae
“NTA – kids do tend to trash things while playing…but it doesn’t excuse disrespectful behavior.”
“I make my kids clean any messes they make at other people’s homes…likewise, they also clean any messes at home after friends leave.”
“My kids are the same ages as your sister’s older 2, and they’ve known the rules and help well since both of them were 3.”
“My kids also know not to destroy or throw things.”
“I’m not even super strict (my in-laws think I’m too ‘easy’ on the kids, despite raving about what good kids they are 🙄).”
“Kids mess up… the broken lamp, I could see that as an accident even well behaved kids would do, but your sister should’ve at least had an appropriate level of remorse or if she can’t afford to replace it, had the kids apologize.” – WaryScientist
“Nope!”
“Some people do not try to teach their children anything, and they just let them run around wild!”
“that sounds like your sister is one of those people, you’re not obligated to babysit for her and you should let her know that.”
“tell her you don’t have the time to babysit for her and that she needs to teach her children how to act when they’re at someone else’s house, especially at four and six-year.” – WorldlinessHefty918
“No your not I am a mother of a 10 and a 6 and 1 year old and as a mother if my kids mess up a place or break anything before I leave my kids and me will help clean up and anything broken depending on situation I either replace the whole thing or pay to replace part of it because sometimes it isn’t just my kids fault.”
“But I am responsible for my kids and my older ones know if they mess they are cleaning my middle child will cry the whole time he has to clean but he will do it fast because he hates cleaning.”
“Or simply my kids get babysat at my house.” – RazzmatazzPopular587
“Nope NTAH.”
“Had she apologized for the inconvenience and accepted that it was a huge imposition on you I bet you would be more apt to watch her kiddos in the future.”
“With certain boundaries, of course. She shot herself in the foot here” – Jovon35
It definitely sounds like OP has every right to be upset and not want to babysit for her sister again.
Perhaps if she does decide to, though, she can take the advice of her fellow Redditors and do it at her sister’s place instead.