Everyone likes a little help from their mom now and then, but sometimes they can take things way, way too far.
A woman on Reddit’s son was left feeling this way after she panicked when he didn’t come home from work on time and frantically called his boss to ask about his whereabouts, leaving him angry and embarrassed.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by SundayEvening356 on the site, wasn’t sure about how she’d handled things, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for input.
“AITA For Calling My Son’s Boss?”
“I’m a widow living with my son Jason (21) in an apartment. He works a day job from 8am to 2pm. Lately he’s been having problems with his car breaking down for several reasons. He is planning on getting it fixed at the end of this month.”
“So the situation took place yesterday. When Jason was at work and didn’t come home til 5. He’s usually home at 2:30pm. I called him several times starting from 2:30pm but got no response. I tried every 10 minutes but he didn’t pick up.”
“I started getting worried and at 4pm I called his friend who’s a co worker of his but he said he didn’t know wether Jason got off work or not and he already called jason but got no response. It occured to me to call his boss as last resort because I legitimately started worrying because like I said the car Jason drives isn’t stable.”
“I asked Jason’s friend to text me his boss’s number and I made the call almost immediately. His boss told me Jason was working extra hours til 5 and assured me everything was fine. Just that Jason had been busy with work.”
“Jason came home, stayed quiet when eating his meal and pretty much ignored my questions about why he didn’t bother to text back and ease my worried, racing mind. He looked at me then told me he’s planning on moving out soon. I was taken aback.”
“I don’t pressure him to pay rent or take his time to help with anything. I asked why and he blew up suddenly saying he was not a kid and that I should’ve never called his boss and made a fool of him like that just because he was 2 hrs or so late for lunch. He called me controlling and paranoid. He said this doesn’t seem to work because despite the fact that he’s an adult I still treat him like a 10 year old chasing after him whenever he goes just because he lives with me.”
“He said I needed to understand his need for freedom and claimed I have no respect for him as an adult. I argued that it wasn’t like I was treating him like a kid but was just worried and quite honestly frustrated to not recieve a text back after I stated I was worried for him. I mean he could’ve been involved in an accident for all I know.”
“He said those thoughts were my problem and insisted on moving out next month. We haven’t talked all day and he spent his time in his room by himself.”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And they were pretty firmly on Team Jason on this one.
“YTA. It sounds like he’s sorta on the money here. If he’s at work, he’s probably busy. You shouldn’t expect a response every time you get a message, most work places have a no cellphone policy anyways.”
“It sounds like he probably has many other examples of why he feels he has no freedom as a 21 year old which is why he wants to move out.” —McWhacker
“OP sounds like she needs a hobby or a job or therapy, or all 3.”
“Her son spelled out everything for her about why she is an a**hole, but she still doesn’t get it, probably doesn’t even want to get it, so I am afraid it doesn’t matter what we say, she is probably going to dismiss it, like she dismisses what her son says, because it doesn’t align with the story she tells herself.”
“YTA OP, maybe try therapy if you can’t come to terms with your son being an adult on your own.” —Cute-Shine-1701
“This poor guy. He didn’t come straight home and his parent started bombing him with calls and texts, and for what? My mom used to do this. Your anxieties can’t be his problem. Big YTA.” —EmilySD101
“YTA, i’m guessing this story from your son’s perspective is a little different, with more stories of you being overbearing. It’s understandable to be concerned about your son but maybe wait on sounding the alarm until it’s been a little longer than 2 hours.”
“If my mom called my phone every 10 minutes, called my coworker and my boss because I got stuck at work for a few extra hours i’d be extremely annoyed.” —mr_lakeshow
“As much as I get where OP is coming from- I still think they are the a**hole. I’m can get super neurotic sometimes about the people I care about. My roommate disappeared for 3 days, and I almost called the cops to file a missing persons report (roommate was fine, he just took a spur of the moment camping trip)”
“However, for a 21-year-old, it would be completely suffocating for them to not be able to work late for 3 hours without their parents freaking out and embarrassing them at work. It would be good for both OP and son to not live together anymore.” —Pantheon_Haus
“YTA. Your son spelled everything out for you, yet you still don’t get it.”
“I understand worrying, but calling his coworker and boss was over top. You are treating him like a little kid and embarrassing him in front of his boss because ‘his mommy was calling to check on him.'”
“My goodness. What did parents do in the time before cellphones??” —DisneyAddict2021
Hopefully OP can learn a thing or two about boundaries from this.