Keeping secrets among friends can be stressful and revealing them can lead to ruined friendships.
But when it comes to family members, are the stakes for keeping secrets any higher?
Redditor usernamehere337, a 16-year-old boy, discovered the consequences of spilling secrets after being in a tough predicament.
So he turned to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for going behind my dad’s back telling my grandparents we’re staying in his car?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“My dad is really mad at me about this and he doesn’t wanna talk to me so I wanna know how badly I messed up. He broke up with his girlfriend and we left her apartment a month ago.”
“My dad only has part time job atm and so couldn’t even get us a motel to stay cause it’s money wasted . Only his friend let us use his place in the mornings to shower.”
“My dad didn’t want me telling my grandparents about this becuz sometimes I know they talk about him not being a good dad. Is not true but it makes my dad get mad at them and he doesn’t like asking them for help because he gets a lecture from them about how he fked up.”
“But week went by and we were still in the car my dad said hes gonna get a full time work soon. I ended up txting my grandpa about it.”
“Then that day after school my grandma was there to pick me up instead she said they talked to my dad and I’m not going with him. I’m staying at their place now been here for two weeks.”
“So guess they had a whole fight and made him agree to let me stay with them until he found a place. My first night my dad texted me a loooong message.”
“Just that he couldn’t believe I’d go behind his back because he knew my grandparents would get mad at him and give him sh*t about our situation. He thought as his son I’d have his back in this hard time and stick it out with him.”
“My dads not answering me anymore. My grandpa says to give him time to cool off but is been weeks of him not replying to me. On my messages it says he read them though so he purposely ignoring.”
“Things aren’t easy sometimes but never to that level of us not having a place to go and idk maybe I didn’t do this right.”
“AITA that I betrayed him by telling on him to my grandparents after he said don’t?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors sided with the OP with their not the a**hole judgments.
“NTA. You deserve proper housing, and you were right to reach out to trusted adults when your basic needs are not being appropriately met.”
“Your Dad should have swallowed his pride and asked his parents if you could live with them to begin with.” – 0biterdicta
“NTA. Your dad making you sleep in his car just so he can maintain his pride is horrendous. You did the right thing.” – VinnyCapistrano
“It’s one thing if he was living in his car because he didn’t want help but it’s another thing to put a child through that. That’s CPS worthy alone.”
“OP did do the right thing going to the grandparents. OPs dad is lucky enough to be able to hash it out with family instead of the government. OP I’d look at seeing if he qualifies for government assistance to get y’all back on y’all’s feet. NTA.” – bi-fly
“Absolutely. Maybe the dad here feels embarrassed and down on his luck, but it’s negligent and borderline abusive to put your own child through homelessness and the dangers and distress of sleeping rough in a car, because you’re too proud, stubborn or self-centred to contact their grandparents for help.”
“The dad here is also a major a**hole for blaming his teenage child and giving him the silent treatment; OP, that’s horrible and you don’t deserve it.”
“None of this is your fault. Your dad is obviously not a capable parent and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You have nothing to feel guilty about.” – enigmasaurus-
“Neglect is a type of abuse. Safe and reliable shelter is a basic need not ‘money wasted.’ OP Defs did the right thing and should be proud of the courage it took. NTA” – sleepsalotnnocare
“I agree this is absolutely NTA and dad needed to suck it up for the good of his child. No question there.”
“However, for whatever reason, homelessness alone is not considered CPS worthy. They will not investigate based on a family being homeless alone as long as other needs are being met which it sounds like they were since they had a place to shower, OP didn’t mention going hungry, any other abuse, etc.”
“I don’t necessarily agree with it and honestly was shocked when I found out (at least in my state) this was the case.” – naughtyducklings
“NTA your dad is the AH for putting his pride above his child’s health and safety.”
“Normal parents would’ve immediately told your grandparents what happened and asked you could stay with them awhile.” – Sneezydiva3
“NTA – you were homeless, that can have a huge impact on your physical, mental and emotional health, not to mention your grades and relationships with those around you (at school).”
“Your dad needs to swallow his pride and admit he needs support. Putting his pride before the health and wellbeing of his own child is appalling.” – TooTall2Function
“NTA – the fact is that your dad shouldn’t be choosing for you to sleep in a car when there’s a viable alternative (your grandparents). I’m pretty flabbergasted that he’s shaming you for not ‘sticking it out,’ what the heck?”
“He would rather have his son sleep in a car instead of somewhere safe and warm with an actual roof over his head? You didn’t choose his Gf or the breakup, so why should you be forced to suffer the consequences of his decisions? This is just messed up. But yeah, definitely NTA.” – Snorlax5000
Overall, a majority of Redditors said the OP was NTA and they thought the secret in this particular situation was one worth revealing.