There are many things in our lives we wish we had more control over.
Perhaps none more so than our emotions.
No matter how hard we might try, we simply cannot control our emotions as much as we like to think we can.
As a result, we will sometimes find ourselves saying things we regret or at least saying things in a manner we may later regret.
Redditor Flashy-Magazine-9264 recently made a fairly significant life choice that few people do at her young age.
The original poster (OP)’s decision came as something of a surprise to her pregnant sister-in-law (SIL), who had trouble comprehending what led the OP to make this decision.
Despite the OP’s many efforts to explain or drop the conversation, her sister-in-law continued to demand an explanation.
Eventually leading the OP to all but completely lose her patience.
Having some regrets about her behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for making my pregnant SIL cry when she kept asking why I changed my name?”
The OP explained how she ended up making her pregnant SIL cry:
“My brother (30 M[ale]) is married to Hailey (29 F[female]), and they’re expecting a baby together.”
“Last year, I (17 F) officially changed my first name from Evelyn to Indie (which was a nickname form of my original middle name).”
“My parents gave in after realizing how serious I was about being Indie and how I was not warming up to or growing into Evelyn.”
“My brother and Hailey want an older/vintage name for their baby, and Hailey asked me about five months ago why I disliked Evelyn enough to change the name.”
“At the time she brought up how popular the name has become and how vintage is back.”
“I told her I didn’t like vintage names, and to me, it sounded really old-fashioned.”
“I told her the popularity didn’t influence my decision.”
“She wanted to know my reason for disliking older names and why I liked something like Indie instead.”
“I didn’t mind her asking this first time.”
“She brought it up again a week later, asked the same question, and pressed more for why.”
“She asked a third and a fourth time.”
“I gave her the same answer and asked her why she kept asking me.”
“I told her my answer wasn’t going to change.”
“By the seventh time she asked she admitted she was worried her baby would hate having an older name and wanted to figure out what she could do to prevent what happened with me happening to her.”
“She also said she’d like me to rethink my name because she thought Evelyn was beautiful and she was sad I had chosen something like Indie over it.”
“I asked her to stop so many times already, and I even asked my brother to stop her.”
“He told me I needed to understand it was the hormones.”
“I can easily say she has asked me this more than 25 times by now.”
“I’m not exaggerating that number either.”
“Two weeks ago, when she brought it up again, she felt like I had made a mistake changing my name and how 30-year-old me wouldn’t be so against Evelyn.”
“I told her 30-year-old me can deal with it if that happens.”
“She told me I didn’t really have a good reason to like the name, and Indie seemed like the kind of name someone young likes but not someone older.”
“Then yesterday happened, and I kinda lost my temper.”
“She started out asking the same stuff, and the baby is almost ready to be born, so I know it’s coming to an end, but she asked me to really think about why and help her because she couldn’t figure out what she’d do differently than my parents did.”
“Then she said they really shouldn’t have let me change my name so young.”
“I snapped, and I told her to stop asking me the same question because my answer won’t change, and her comments are not changing my mind because I don’t like old-fashioned names.”
“I told her I think they’re awful, and I’m sick and tired of hearing about how much better they are. I’m having her try to make me find a reason she finds acceptable.”
“I told her just like she hates Indie, I hate Evelyn, and she needs to let it f*cking go already.”
“She burst into tears, and my brother got so mad at me.”
“My parents were also like, why did I have to speak to her so harshly.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for making Hailey cry.
If some felt that the OP may have overreacted, everyone else agreed that Hailey simply drove the OP to lose her temper by refusing to drop the issue, and both of their reactions were due to their simply losing control of their emotions in the moment.
“NTA.”
“‘She also said she’d like me to rethink my name.'”
“This makes her the AH.”
“‘She needs to let it f*cking go already’.”
“This is the only reasonable response.”
“REFUSE to discuss this with her anymore.”
“And your brother and parents need to either shut HER up or accept that you will do it yourself.”- Excellent-Count4009
“If you reacted like this the very first time she asked, then you’d be a bit of an AH.”
“But, after months of her asking you the same thing over and over and over, your reaction is justified.”
“I hate the ‘you must understand its the pregnancy hormones’ spiel – being pregnant doesn’t give you a free pass to be an AH.”
“NTA.”- Final_Figure_7150
“NTA.”
“Her behavior is really weird.”
“Why ask repeatedly?”
“And what’s it to her, whether you choose to use Evelyn or Indie?”
“It has nothing to do with her or her baby.”
“I don’t understand why she’s so obsessed with your name.”- KSJ08
“NTA.”
“This: ‘She told me I didn’t really have a good reason to like the name and Indie seemed like the kind of name someone young likes but not someone older’.’
“You don’t need her good reason to change your name, just your good reason to change your name.”
“After 25 times of the same bullying from her, I would have snapped at her as well.”
“Because it is bullying she was doing, for what purpose, who knows?”
“And it is not hormones and as to why you needed to speak harshly to her, well it was because she kept bullying you over you changing your name, tell your parents and brother is was like when you were kids traveling with your parents and you kept asking, ‘Are we there yet?’ over and over and over again and how they finally snapped at you to shut up?”
“Yeah, it was like that.”- PumpkinPowerful3292
“NTA.”
“Pregnancy or not she would be testing anyone’s patience the way she was carrying on.”
“Tell your parents exactly how many time you have had the same disrespectful conversation with her and ask them what they would have done.”
“Also tell your brother that you had told him how irritating she was being and asked him to tell her to stop which he didn’t, therefore the situation is as much his fault as hers.”- Secret_Double_9239
“If someone continues to question your identity, and they don’t accept you for who you are, and if they ignore your explanation and request to move on….they are bullies and discriminatory.”
“So, no surprise she burst into tears and is playing the victim now because that’s what entitled bullies do when they are challenged.”
“NTA Indie.”- Famous_Specialist_44
“NTA.”
“Your response is what happens when someone constantly badgers you after being repeatedly told to stop.”
“Maybe now she’ll stop bothering you.”- MerlinBiggs
“OMG.”
“It’s not hormones.”
“She is talking down to you and lecturing you because you’re 17.”
“She’s saying you don’t know what you want and shouldn’t be allowed to choose anything for yourself.”
“I’d be so mad!”
“I’d have reamed her out just like you did.”
“And she’s only pregnant.”
“I’ve been pregnant twice and it’s not a terminal disease, or an excuse to treat others badly.”
“Your brother and mother should both tell to stop already.”- Suzeli55
“NTA.”
“But in the future, when she starts, just stare at her for a second and walk off.”
“Because this is not going to end once the baby is born.”
‘She will bring it up every time she tells someone her child’s name and will follow up with a passive-aggressive comment about how it is better than the name you chose.”- Apprehensive_War9612
The fact that the OP is clearly aware that she may have overreacted shows an admirable sense of self-awareness and that it wasn’t her mission to make Hailey feel bad, let alone make her cry.
She was simply driven to her boiling point.
Hopefully, this exchange will finally teach Hailey not to mention the OP’s name change.
A lesson she should have learned much earlier.