It can be a very scary struggle to make ends meet.
People seem to be doing the best they can.
But not everyone believes that to be true.
And not everyone is born into money.
Redditor Chemical-Lack-6997 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my brother’s wife we can’t all have rich parents like her and her siblings?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My brother Nicky (25 M[ale]) is married to Liza (24 F[emale]).”
“They were at my parent’s house on Sunday for dinner and Liza really annoyed the crap out of me, something that isn’t new, and I said something in anger and I might be TA for it maybe.”
“So Liza has a wealthy family.”
“They paid for her and her sibling’s college expenses 100%.”
“They paid for Nicky and Liza’s house.”
“They paid for their wedding.”
“They’re paying for one of their son’s weddings this summer.”
“They can afford all of that.”
“Liza has always been very… open, if trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, about it.”
“She never hid the fact she came from money and was never shy about saying her parents pay for so much for her and her siblings.”
“Liza doesn’t understand that we’re not all that lucky. “
“I’m 19 F, work full time and I still live with my parents.”
“We couldn’t afford college.”
“I didn’t get the grades for a scholarship.”
“I struggled enough through school that getting into massive debt for college when I could end up flunking seemed like a bad move for me.”
“So I focused on working, and I applied for a couple of training programs close to my parent’s house so I could try and do better without risking debt for nothing.”
“Liza looks down on me so hard for living with my parents still and for not going to college.”
“Sunday, she talked about how all her siblings attended college, and three of them are still in college, living there, and doing just fine.”
“How they’ll be able to buy houses right out of college.”
“How even she and my brother could do it.”
“My parents said politely that not everyone can do all that.”
“But then she talked about me being 19 and not in college or living on my own and how I should really try so much harder.”
“I snapped at that moment and I told her we can’t all have rich parents who can afford to pay our way through college, for our weddings, and for our houses.”
“I told her my parents didn’t have that kind of money and neither did I, so we were doing our best in this shi**y f**king economy.”
“Liza told me I’m just lazy and making excuses and she stormed out.”
“Nicky left a while after and he was pretty quiet.”
“Liza used his phone to send me 30 texts three days later, demanding I apologize and tearing me a new one for not doing it without being told. I know it was her because she texts in a very specific way.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Liza had no right to judge you or to voice her opinion about what you are doing with your life.”
“It sounds like her negative comments are untrue – she accused you of being lazy but you are working full-time and seeking out opportunities to better yourself.”
“College is not for everyone and as you said it could lead to significant debt.”
“It is not uncommon for 19-year-olds to be living with their parents in this economy.”
“She clearly has a very entitled perspective – not many people can afford to buy houses straight out of college!”
“Unless you haven’t included things that you said in your response, I don’t see that you said anything that you need to apologize for.”
“You simply told her that neither you nor your parents had the funds to make college or moving out happen.”
“She was the one that made nasty comments to you so if anyone should apologize it would be Liza.” ~ Late_Confidence8101
“I agree. I hate it when kids of rich parents act like that.”
“That’s the parents’ money.”
“Their kids didn’t do anything to earn it.”
“It’s not their money by virtue of being born to rich parents.” ~ black_orchid83
“And she and her siblings aren’t buying houses out of college. Her folks are buying them.”
“There’s a HUGE difference there!”
“NTA. Some of the most successful people I know (talking multi-millionaires who started with nothing) never went to college. One barely finished high school.”
“Another, I’m not sure if he and his wife ever finished high school.”
“Fact: street smarts and hard work ethic can go farther than a college grad with a Masters degree.”
“You will find your path and be fine.”
“Hope your S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw]’s parents never go broke.”
“People like her are 1 click away from failing.”
“If it helps: feel sorry for her.”
“Her parents have set up ALL their kids to fail.”
“Giving your kids everything is a recipe for disaster.” ~ calicounderthesun
“NTA. Yes, I’m the only one of my siblings with a four-year degree and my brothers are doing better than I am.”
“OP, I have so much respect for the work you’re putting in to make your life better and planning well.”
“I hope you find the successful life (according to your terms) that you deserve.” ~ Solanadelfina
“Completely NTA, Liza definitely is though.”
“Just to add here as well, if you really want to go to college OP you may want to look into community colleges, depending on your state it could be free or at the very least significantly cheaper.”
“I personally didn’t do well enough in high school to get a scholarship but did well enough in community college that I got a scholarship when I transferred to a 4-year institution for the last 2 years of my degree.”
“College is not for everyone tho, and if you’re not interested that’s perfectly fine too. 🙂 “
“Good luck OP and I wish you well!” ~ Vig_Big
“I have a sibling just like this: almost a decade older, which equals that major difference between a Gen X paying for college and a millennial paying for college.”
“Plus, they married a spouse whose parents paid off their loans for them as a Christmas gift, gave them help with their home’s down payment, donated to their kids’ college funds, routinely sold nice cars to them below, etc.”
“Yet they LOVE to tell me how I could be doing better with just a little bit more effort.”
“I’ve worked a part-time job along with my full-time job my entire adult life and am still scraping by, but sure… it’s just that I need to ‘work harder’ and be a little smarter with my money that barely covers my monthly bills and groceries.”
“The entitlement and tone deafness is astounding.” ~ Alert-Professional90
“NTA. In fact, she is the one who owes you an apology for how she treats you.”
“Unfortunately there are a lot of people who take their fortune for granted.”
“Kudos to you for realizing college may not be for you at this time or ever and trying to figure out your path.”
“Here is the apology I would send ‘I am sorry. Sorry that you have been handed so much for free that you have no understanding of how the majority of the people in this world have to work to get by. I hope you will do your best to rectify this.'” ~ hikergirl26
“You’re NTA.”
“Your sister-in-law is living in a delusional dreamland.”
“Her parents may have bought her all kinds of material things, but they sure never taught her manners or self-reliance.”
“You’re going to have to work for everything you have, and you will end up being a lot more appreciative for everything you have and a lot more realistic as well as less judgmental of everyone else.”
“Guess which one of you is the one most of us would prefer to have as a friend.” ~ Dittoheadforever
“Personally, next time she brings it up, I would respond with, ‘So are you going to talk to your parents about providing me the tuition and college living expenses, or should I reach out to them about that myself?'”
“And also, ‘Just as soon as you put any of your siblings pay for your own college or homes with money you earned yourself I’ll give your opinion some consideration, until then I’ll continue to make decisions grounded in reality.”'”
“NTA. Day it any time she starts talking about this and tell your brother to rein her in or you’ll keep responding like this.”
“You could also reply to her texts with ‘I’m confused, what would you like me to apologize for? The truth? Do your parents not pay for all that? Was I misinformed?'”
“As you can see, I’m both pretty and snarky.” ~ LimitlessMegan
“NTA. It is absolutely wild the alternate reality wealthy people live in.”
“’Just cut out Starbucks, and you can afford a house!'”
“Like. I am not even getting Starbucks. Thanks.” ~ _Xanthan_
“NTA… she is pretty delusional.”
“Apologize for what? That she hasn’t earned anything in life, and it was all given to her by her parents.”
“If her parents didn’t hand her all of the stuff she has, she would be worse off than you.” ~ Hawk833
“NTA… tell her you would love to go to college if her parents are willing to pay for you to go.”
“The lazy one in this situation is her.”
“She didn’t pay for her own education, she didn’t pay for her own home, she didn’t pay for her own wedding.” ~ dncrmom
“NTA. Lisa is rude and insufferable.”
“She needs a reality check and some serious humility.” ~ Catblue3291
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You had every right to defend yourself.
You’re doing what you feel is best for your life.
You keep doing you.
Good luck.