Planning to start a family leads to a lot of questions about how to organize your life.
How do you balance a job and caring for the child? Should we consider daycare? Will I be able to afford all of this?
These are questions Redditor Ok_Case_9067 asked herself and her future husband as they prepare to welcome their child to the world. However, their plan involves the fiancé leaving his job, which may cause issues.
The original poster (OP) took to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to find out if she’s wrong.
“AITA for ‘forcing’ my Fiance quit his job that he loves?”
It seems OP’s in a pickle with her fiancé’s family:
“My Fiance and I are both 26 and we are expecting our first child in June.”
“He works over an hour from where we live, makes around $800-$900 per week and works full time. However, I make around $1800-$1900 a week working the same hours.”
“We decided day care wasn’t an option due to price, location and not wanting to put a newborn into day care. I’m plan on having the baby and going back to work.”
“However his family thinks its unfair that I’m making him quit his job that he loves to baby sit, while I go off and work instead of looking after our son.”
“In their eyes the mother should be looking after the baby.”
“They think it’s cruel and unnatural that he is going to be doing the care giving and I’ll never bond with my child, if we stick with this plan.”
“I know it’s probably clear cut, however I’m starting to doubt our plans. Will going back to work make me a bad mum and is it wrong he is quiting his job?”
“My Fiance is in favour for staying home it was his idea and he is super excited. His parents have brough up putting him in day care near their place, if I’m so against looking after him.”
“Extra bit for information, he wants to start his own business and is going to try use his time working on it. His family is also against this.”
“So AITA For not staying home and going back to work? Letting my Fiance quit his job to look after our son?”
On the AITA board, people share their stories and are judged for their actions. This is done with one of the following comments.
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
It seems like when it comes to parenting, everyone has their own idea of the “right way” to do things. But so long as it doesn’t hurt the child, this is a choice best left to the parents.
The commenters voted that OP was NTA.
“NTA you don’t babysit your own kid. It’s called parenting. Good luck.” – Anybody_Outthere
“I came here to say the same thing. He’s not a babysitter, he’s the father” – mrschester
“The family thinks they should cut their income by half (since he makes half of what she makes), that the dad will just be babysitting (his own kid), that the mom will never bond with her child because she will be at work (but apparently the dad wouldn’t fail to bond with the baby if he worked…somehow), and that this must all be the woman’s fault because of course they do.”
“Misogyny is a helluva drug.” – thisleandpeony
“You’re such a terrible person for forcing him to… checks notes do something he really wants to do and was his idea in the first place.”