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Guy Refuses To Make Vegetarian Girlfriend’s Lunches For The Week When He Preps His Own

Close up of female hands holding glass containers with fresh raw vegetables.
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There are millions of reasons why relationships have serious issues.

Money is usually the number one catalyst for a myriad of problems.

Jealousy and infidelity rank high on the list.

Moving or merging houses brings out the claws in everybody.

But there is one issue that has risen in the relationship drama ranks… food preferences.

Can people on opposite eating spectrums really make it work?

Redditor ThrowawayMealpreppin wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.

He asked:

“AITA for not meal prepping for my vegetarian partner?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (29 M[ale]) spend most Saturdays or Sundays doing meal prep for the upcoming week.”

“I generally make meat meals, like yesterday for example I made rice bowls with ground beef and vegetables.”

“As the title says my partner (28 F[emale]) is a vegetarian (by choice).”

“I do a lot of the cooking because she works odd hours at her retail job and I genuinely like cooking.”

“Lots of times I’ll make things where meat and veggies can be added or just straight-up veggie meals (think chickpea bowls).”

“The last few times I’ve made my meal prep my wife has commented she wished I would meal prep for her too.”

“I will usually make extra carbs for her (rice, potatoes, etc) and occasionally extra veggies but this morning she got very angry that I had my lunches all ready for the week and she only had the extra rice I made.”

“I told her I was happy to make extra rice or potatoes for her but I already spend an hour and a half making my lunches.”

“If she wanted to eat the meals as is (with meat) she could take them but I’m not spending another half an hour, 45 minutes cooking meals just for her.”

“She said I could just go veggie too but I replied I don’t like soy and she doesn’t like beans so that won’t happen because I always feel hungry after eating solely vegetarian meals and I am trying to lose weight by limiting snacking.”

“She stormed out this morning and isn’t responding to my texts.”

The OP was left to wonder:

“So my question is, am I the a-hole for not making her separate meals? Are we just at an impasse? Thank you, Reddit.”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. I would maybe offer a trade-off.”

“What chore could she take on that would give you an hour back somewhere else?”

“But either way, you do not have to prep an entirely different menu.”

“You are setting yourself up for the week.”

“She could choose to do it with you, she could prep something to go in the oven that you could pop in while you are cooking, she could take the rice or potatoes and just add a few things… she’s an adult.” 

“Tired or not, it is unrealistic to expect this of you.”

“I’ve been married for 22 years.”

“Breakfast and lunch are individual meals and we have dinner together most nights. It has changed over the years who end up doing most of the cooking depending on the jobs we had, but it was pretty balanced.”

“I was NOT going to be making him breakfast or lunch.”

“I felt that these were meals that you are responsible for making for yourself.”

“If we had leftovers, one of us might pack a lunch first both of us out of it while doing dishes, but for the most part, we have each done our own laundry, our own errands, and eating during the day is on the person.”

“If he had asked me to make lunches, I would have offered to trade, like he takes over my laundry if I take over his lunches… but I would not be willing to give up my time.”

“It is too finite.” ~ OhmsWay-71

“I am the ghost of Christmas Future, coming to tell you not to have kids with this person.”

“My husband works odd/ changing hours, and I am completely the default parent and it is exhausting.”

“When your spouse is around the kid will still default to going to you for things because you are the person they trust to provide parental care.”

“You will be the one who knows where the snow boots are and keeps track of their special water bottle and remembers to give their kids their meds and just a never-ending list.”

“I’m getting divorced and my husband keeps saying that I’m going to find single parenting harder than I thought but even if he only has the kid one day a week one full day a week where someone else does 100% of the parenting sounds like heaven and a huge break from where I am now.”

“The fact that you already do 90% of the chores and she is so butt hurt you won’t spend an additional hour every week doing something just for her (that she could do herself – maybe not in a regular time slot, but unless she is never home she could find time for it) speaks plenty to what parenting with her is going to be like.”

“Parenting is a never-ending list of stuff that needs to be done, if she can’t scrounge up an hour a week to meal prep when she already barely does chores she is not anywhere near ready to have a kid.” ~ Music_withRocks_In

“NTA. Your soon-to-be ex-G[irl]F[riend] is looking for a fight.”

“She’s manufacturing one out of idiocy and laziness”

“Why do I say that?”

“Because she’s a grown adult, she can make her own food, and unless she does some task that takes her time in an equal manner like laundry, why should you spend time for her?”

“It’s just ridiculous.”

S”he sounds incredibly entitled and spoiled and perhaps narcissistic.”

“Maybe this is a one-off or this is a symptom of some more deep-seated issues.” ~ R0ck3tSc13nc3

“I’m vegetarian and I would not expect anyone to spend extra time making me separate meal preps, and I certainly wouldn’t expect my husband to go vegetarian to suit me so I personally think she’s being unreasonable and that you are NTA.”

“Also, her forcing vegetarianism on any future children should be discussed as it’s not just her choice, you have a say in it too!”

“I’m vegetarian and my daughter eats meat, her daughter comes to stay with me and she has a mixture of meals, she does eat some of my vegetarian meals but that’s because she chooses to, not because I force her to.”

“I would never dream of forcing my life choices on anyone else and maybe your partner should have to think about that too.” ~ Individual_Ad_974

“Absolutely! NTA. I’m vegetarian.”

“When I moved in with my partner, he wasn’t.”

“About 3 months in, he chose to go vegetarian, because he liked the food I made.”

“Now he can’t imagine eating meat, but I would NEVER have forced him to give it up.” ~ AffectionateLion9725

“Agreed. I have strongly held vegetarian beliefs but I did not force them on my kids.”

“I think that’s just as bad as forcing Mormonism or whatever on kids.”

“My job as a parent is to provide access to all different kinds of beliefs and teach kids how to choose what’s best for themselves.”

“My son ended up a pretty big meat eater but my daughter is an occasional vegetarian.”

“I am super proud of them both.”

“My partner was 90% vegetarian as well.”

“We both shared cooking tasks and I would happily cook meat for the family or a vegetarian meal that I knew they would like.”

“When my partner cooked she would frequently leave a vegetarian option or make pasta with me separately or something easy that left some food for me but did not require her to make an entire separate meal.”

“Just like any situation in a relationship, it requires kindness and communication from all parties.” ~ bernyzilla

“I’m a meat eater and my partner is veggie.”

“We’ve decided that our newborn will be veggie too until he’s old enough to understand where meat comes from and can decide for himself.”

“She still doesn’t expect me to become a vegetarian.”

“OP’s partner is being so unreasonable.” ~ skasquatch118

“Think carefully if you want to bring children into your current situation.”

“If your wife is too tired from work to share in chores and make meals now, what will it look like when you add a helpless baby to the situation?”

“NTA. Assuming your wife isn’t working 60+ hours a week, she has time to meal prep for herself, she just needs to plan and be more organized.” ~ bugeyedbug72

“NTA- why is she not prepping with you?”

“It’s hard to see where she is your partner- when you do most everything anyhow.”

“Then gives you the silent treatment- emotional abuse. Odd hours?”

“like 80 odd hours a week?”

“It sounds like she can’t be bothered.”

“Doesn’t sound like a partnership.” ~ KiriYogi

“NTA.”

“A. Bold of her to assume her kids will be vegetarian and wrong of her to push that on them already, and…”

“B. If she wanted prepped meals, she could contribute.”

“I get if you’re making a bunch of food just for yourself, sure, but she doesn’t want what you’re making and you don’t like what she requires.”

“So the most you can compromise is making extra vegetarian-friendly stuff ALONGSIDE your meat dishes, and if she wants to add to them, she can.”

“Like, say you’re making a bunch of stir-fry meals.”

“You can make extra rice and vegetable stir fry mix, then just make your meat separate.”

“That would probably be the best compromise I could think of.”

“If she wants tofu or whatever, she can contribute to the meal prep.”

“If anything, I think if she wants in on this at all, she should be contributing.” ~ Andledee

“NTA… you’re obviously not going to starve your children.”

“She can prep food too?”

“It seems like she wants to cause problems because you won’t go veggie.”

“Prepping stuff you’ll both eat is cheap and nice but not mandatory.” ~ Ardara

“NTA. She may work irregular hours, but that doesn’t mean that she has no time to make her own food.”

“Trying to fold in as-yet-nonexistent children is an unsupportable, weak argument.”

“Everyone plays a part on a team.”

“If she wants you to devote more time to meal prep, then she should offer up a chore that she is willing to tackle in order to offset the time.” ~ CandylandCanada

“NTA. Mainly cause she invoked your hypothetical kids.”

“Otherwise, I think she makes a point only cause would it take an hour 45 to do rice and veggies?”

“There is no reason why you can’t just triple your veggies or w/e makes sense.”

“No you shouldn’t have to make separate meals, but it’s kinda weird to just create a bunch of extra rice.”

“But it seems this isn’t about that and it’s actually about her trying to use this moment to talk about future family planning and a**hole move to address that in this fashion.” ~ pottersquash

“Eh. I agree that OP is NTA because she can make her own meals.”

“But I think bringing up hypothetical kids is actually an important thing.”

“Have they talked about whether their future kids (which it sounds like they intend to have) will be raised vegetarian or eating meat?”

“Because that’s an important discussion to have BEFORE kids.” ~ riontach

“NTA, but I believe that this could be solved better by better communication.”

“For example, agreeing that you cook something for her, but she also cooks some foods when she’s at home.”

“For example, she could cook side dishes sometimes (as those tend to be vegetarian).”

“It’s a basic human behavior to share the food with the partner, so I can understand her feeling disappointed.”

“But she could contribute more too.” ~ OwnDebate8781

“NTA. The future children will be children.”

“She’s an adult.”

“I would suggest offering to meal prep together.”

“You can plan some shared carbs and then she makes a veggie entree and you make your protein entrees.”

“If you don’t want to cook all her lunches for her that doesn’t make you an a-hole.”

“She sounds immature.” ~ Puzzleheaded-Value38

“NTA. She can prep her own stuff.”

“If you choose to have a special diet you can cook for yourself.”

“Also, I find it a little alarming that she’s already planning on having her kids be plant-based.”

“This is something you two need to discuss.” ~ Mr_Pickle24

“NTA, it’s not like you have an agreed upon system where you cook for her in terms of a sort of ‘shared chores list’ (or at least you haven’t implied that), you’re simply doing her a favor by making extra vegetarian stuff for her whilst you cook for yourself and she’s being ungrateful for that.”

“As for the further comments about if you guys have children and she wants to raise them vegetarian, and also the fact she seems to be expecting/pressuring you to also go vegetarian, that’s sounding like a compatibility problem, and she’s definitely TA for trying to force a lifestyle change on you that you don’t want.” ~ WanderoftheAshes

“NTA. But she wants to push you to be vegetarian out of convenience for her lifestyle.”

“It seems pretty clear that eating meat will be an issue in the long run.” ~ Constant_Increase_17

OP returned with a little info…

“She finally texted back and said ‘She thought we were a team and asked what am I going to do when the (future) kids go vegetarian. Am I just going to make them cook their own meals?'”

“This is turning out to be a bigger deal than I thought.”

OP, you have quite the situation on your hands.

This may be a good time to evaluate the relationship as a whole.

Maybe talk to a therapist together.

This scenario sounds like it’s only going to escalate.

Pre-planning how your children will eat without talking with you first is a bit of a signal that y’all may not be on the same page.

Good luck.