For some reason people think it’s okay to comment on women’s bodies. It’s not.
It doesn’t matter how much you might dislike someone stooping down to their level and insulting their body is not a proper way to deal with things.
Redditor okfinemom encountered this very issue with his wife’s friend. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA For telling my wife’s friend to eat a salad?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife has a friend that she has had since high school. In high school they were both around 105 lbs, however since then the friend has gained an excessive amount of weight and is closer to 200 to 215 lbs.”
“My wife is very health-conscious and always works out so even though she is in her mid-30s she still looks around 19 to 20 years old and is very toned and fit and only weighs around 120 lbs.”
“Anytime her friend sees her she makes comments about my wife being too skinny and needs to eat a burger. It bothers my wife and pisses me off when she does this.”
“Well we moved across the country years ago so she only deals with it every couple years when she comes to visit. Well the last time she was here she wasted no time busting out the burger comment.”
“After we picked her up from the airport we stopped for lunch. As soon as we sat down she pointed to the burger section and told my wife she should order something from there.”
“As soon as she said it I pointed out that they have several salad options and she should really consider ordering one.”
“Now everyone is pissed. AITA?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed everyone sucked in this scenario.
“So your response to her friend making inappropriate comments about your wife’s weight and eating habits is to make your own inappropriate comment about her friends weight and eating habits?”
“ESH.” ~ kfnnnp
“If you’re in your mid thirties, do you really need someone to explain that, “eat a burger!” is rude?” ~ InsipidCelebrity
“You would be surprised at how many people think it’s fine to make mean comments about/to people who are underweight or skinny and say that they’re being body positive.”
“Agreed that ESH other than the wife.” ~ sociablebot
“I remember once sitting in a room with my friends while they picked through a magazine making fun of how skinny all those women were, and how no man will actually like them because they’re too bony and there’s nothing to grab. I was absolutely silent in the corner, afraid if I drew attention to myself they’d realize they hated me too. All of them claimed to be very body positive, which turned out to mean positive to bodies like theirs and negative to any body shape tied to beauty standards.”
“Anyway turns out I had an undiagnosed chronic condition keeping my weight down, and it was not, as I heard routinely, because I didn’t eat enough burgers. I actually ate a lot of them, despite how many times the mean girls reported me as anorexic to the school principle. I felt ugly and unwanted and most of it was socially accepted.” ~ bugandbear22
“Yeah, but those people are still being unkind and this ‘friend’ isn’t being a good friend.”
“I dunno, I’m leaning NTA on this one. Yes, OP was rude, but this woman has repeatedly made the exact same sort of rude comment to his wife. He was shutting her down by doing it back so she’d stop doing this every time she sees wife.”
“People don’t need to be told that being mean to skinny people is still mean. She knows that, she just doesn’t care because apparently she’s bitter and feels OP’s wife deserves comments for being skinny. I’m not the size I was in high school and I don’t get mistaken for 19 to 20. No one has ever had to explain to me that I shouldn’t make rude comments to other woman if they are more fit or look younger then I do.”
“She ‘had it coming’ very much, in my opinion. I’d be upset to if someone repeatedly picked on someone I loved again and again.” ~ TheHatOnTheCat
Most agreed people need to stop policing women’s bodies.
“A ‘real woman’ is anyone who identifies as a woman, regardless of shape or size. I’m a fat, middle aged woman. I have been fat, or considered as, since I was 12. There is a lot behind my size that is my business.”
“I’m a real woman. I have friends who have been thin all their lives. They are real women. I have know people who discovered they were women later in life. They are real women.”
“‘Real women’ as a slogan is a sickening advertising campaign.” ~ Mybeautifulballoon
“The real sizes thing is only valid if they accommodate more than one body type (to which they usually just add some extra fabric for fatter people). Also, I’m fat but I think it disgusting how many people say nasty things about skinny people to make themselves feel good.”
“And media just reinforces it, first thing that comes to mind is ‘all about that base’ where that singer calls skinny women stick figures. No, you’re talking about real women with their own thoughts and feelings and insecurities. The problems are different but they are still there.” ~ EatThisSh*t
“Years ago I actually wrote to complain to a magazine for that ‘real women have curves’ comment because I was so tired of the media telling me that I was somehow not ‘real’ just because I happened to be short and on the lower end of the weight range to my height (so not very curvy and not ‘big’ an adjective used frequently in that article).”
“It is a horrible expression.”
“I am against body shaming, but diminishing one set of humans to supposedly prop up another is not at all the solution to the problem; it is, in fact, the problem defined.” ~ Grey_cats_are_great
Body shaming is never okay.