Pablo Picasso once famously quipped: “Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.”
True as that may be, it’s still never a good feeling to see someone take credit for work that you had done… or an idea that was yours.
Of course, stealing another person’s work or idea could permanently affect your relationship with that individual, if not get you in legal trouble.
Some of these victims of petty theft choose instead to take the high road and move on with their lives.
Upon learning that her sister-in-law (SIL) stole an idea that she had made well-known to her entire family, Redditor Beautiful-Ad4218 decided to shift gears and come up with a new idea.
While the original poster (OP) felt that this matter was settled, her SIL felt the opposite, claiming that her change of mind put her at odds with her whole family.
Wondering if this was, indeed, the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for deciding not to use my favorite girl name for my daughter like I always wanted because my husbands sister decided to use it for hers?”
The OP explained how her decision to give her daughter a different name than she had originally planned ended up causing tension in her relationship with her SIL:
“My husband and I (30 M[ale] & F[emale]) welcomed our second baby into the world a few weeks ago.”
“We had originally planned to give her a name that I have adored since childhood.”
“But then my husband’s sister had a baby girl, and she decided to give her daughter this name.”
“It came from nowhere because she always preferred timeless names like Elizabeth, Emily, Emma, Katherine, and so on.”
“The name she ended up going for/my favorite girl name is Seraphina.”
“A lot of people knew it was my favorite, and it was our girl’s name.”
“When I was expecting our son, we had mentioned it would be our girl’s name.”
“Even before having kids, friends and family knew that was the name I adored.”
“But I was never fond of family members sharing the same first name. I know it happens.”
“I know it’s not the end of the world.”
“Nobody owns a name.”
“I also know that in some families, it is very common for relatives to have the same first name.”
“But I personally don’t love it.”
“So after SIL had her baby, we came up with another name for our daughter.”
“My ILs had been surprised when SIL had her daughter and announced the name.”
“Most people had expected her daughter to be Emily because she talked about that name a lot.”
“Seraphina came from nowhere with her.”
“When we announced our daughter’s name, the actual name, after she was born, we did get asked why we had chosen not to use Seraphina, and my husband told them we had decided to go with something else during the pregnancy because we felt it was for the best.”
“No specific reason given, at least not that he brought up around me.”
“But his mom and his other sister and one of his brothers did make comments to SIL about it being her fault.”
“They said it was pretty clear our change came because she used the name we intended to use.”
“SIL ended up fighting with her mom because it was always clear I was never SILs favorite person and she accused her of doing it spitefully.”
“This has come back around to me because SIL has now come for me, saying I should have used the name too, I shouldn’t have let her get blamed for stealing a name when nobody can steal a name.”
“I told her I never accused her of anything like that.”
“She told me I didn’t need to because the name Seraphina was something everyone knew for years that I loved and then all of a sudden I finally have a girl and use a different name.”
“And it happens just after she also decides to use the name for her daughter.”
“I told her we’re entitled to change our minds just like she is.”
“I also told her I don’t have to answer to her.”
“She told me I created drama for no reason, and there is no way the change idea came from her brother, that it was clearly me who got butt hurt over it.”
“She told me to get over it, and there could have been two Seraphinas.”
“She also accidentally admitted she had been waiting for me to confront her on the name.”
“She caught herself before finishing and just went on about how I had changed the name to stir sh*t and make her family turn on her.”
“She also accused me of using the girls as pawns in this whole thing.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for giving her daughter a different name than she had previously announced.
Everyone agreed that based on her behavior, the OP’s SIL clearly only named her daughter Seraphina to provoke the OP and that the only person who was guilty of any of the OP’s SIL’s accusations was the OP’s SIL:
“NTA she is a little cray cray.”- Lia_Delphine
“NTA.”
“She probably only knew of Seraphina after hearing you mentioned it.”
“So she’s TAH.”- StnMtn_
“NTA.”
“Don’t get involved with this SIL.”
“She wants to have a fight.”
“Don’t give it to her.”
“Either don’t answer or just nod.”
“Don’t engage in any of her bs.”
“Good luck.”- adiah54
“NTA.”
“You are a peacemaker.”
“She is a sh*t-stirrer and is stuck with a baby name that she picked out of spite.”
“Everyone knows this.”
“People make a big deal out of picking baby names, but babies grow into adults and will love or dislike their name based on their own preferences.”
“I suspect that your child will be satisfied with her name, but poor baby Seraphina will always feel something is off about hers.”- mom_in_the_garden
“NTA.”
“Picking a different name is the most reasonable choice:”
“Other side: my husband’s family has multiple cousins who have the same names.”
“Due to the tradition of naming after a recently deceased family member, and the cousins love it.”
“At family events, they can always find the kids their age because they are named after the same person.”
“Also in some cultures (many of my patients) all the kids are named for their parents out of respect so you get the father and 3 boys with the same name.”
“So it’s not totally unreasonable to use the name you like.”- AliBlech
“NTA.”
“Nobody owns a name, which includes nobody owning what name you don’t use.”
“Would she be as salty if you said, ‘when she was born, we knew immediately she wasn’t a Seraphina?’”
“It would be one thing if the name you loved was something common/timeless with a bunch of potential shortenings, like Elizabeth or Katherine, but two cousins with a less-common name would be awkward, even if one went by Sera.”- IHaveSomeOpinions09
“So, NTA but your SIL is.”
“Might try to go lc with her if possible.”- ShelbyWinds123
“She practically admitted it was on purpose when she said she had waited for you to react.”
“It was do done on purpose, it just was.”
“NTA!”- MildLittlRain
“Giving her kid a name for a lifetime just to start fights seems unstable, I’d avoid her.”
“Obviously NTA to name you child as you see fit and give her a name that is her own.”- GeeJaa
“NTA.”
“SIL is an entitled name-snatching trash bag.”
“Very tacky to do something like that and then demand anything of you when you handled it so graciously.”- Clear-Tradition8924
“NTA.”
“She used her child as an opportunity to try and stir things up and her actions didn’t need to be called out because it was abundantly apparent to everyone in the family.”
“You didn’t say a word.”
“You can only control your response, which you did with absolute grace and wisdom.”
“She was gearing up for a fight to say you have no singular possession over a name.”
“Which never happened because you know you don’t, and I’m sure you regret sharing your favorite girl name with everyone for so long.”
“Lesson learned there when you have a jealous and spiteful SIL.”
“There are a million other names, and I’m sure your child will like having one that isn’t already in use in the family.”
“She’s mad you didn’t make an issue of it initially so she could pretend to take the high ground and get everyone defending her against you.”
“Well, you are a grown-ass woman, so that didn’t happen.”
“The natural consequences of her transparent pettiness are her responsibility and have nothing to do with you.”
“She honestly seems a bit dim.”- Antelope_31
Seraphina is not exactly a common name, so it’s surprising, to say the least, that the OP’s SIL seemed to have no concerns that her family would think she stole the idea from the OP.
A lesson she has now learned all too well, thanks to her less-than-rational behavior after the OP decided upon a different name.
Whatever her motives for naming her daughter Seraphina, one can only hope the OP’s SIL at least likes the name.