Walking alone, for some people, poses a greater risk. Especially at night.
I’m sure many can relate. Sometimes, we feel the need to walk in pairs or carry some extra gadgets such as pepper spray to protect ourselves if we’re walking past some sketchy streets.
But, it is not always appropriate to ask someone else to walk with us. Particularly if that puts the other person in danger.
Redditor throwaway-8000000 encountered this very issue with her classmate. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for refusing to walk a girl home through an unsafe neighborhood?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“The other evening (at around 10pm), I took a bus home from school with a girl from my class who lives somewhat close to me. We have a lab together, which is a very small group of students, so we have started to get to know each other, but we aren’t really friends or anything.”
“When we got off the bus she asked me if I wanted to walk a particular route home with her, which would run by her apartment.”
“I could also get home via this route but it was more indirect & also would take us under an overpass and down a street that is a lot sketchier than the route I would normally take (and, after I ‘dropped her off,’ I’d have to pass through this area alone).”
“So I ended up saying ‘No, sorry’ and explained that I wanted to take the route that was more direct.”
OP’s classmate was upset.
“She didn’t really say anything in response, we said goodbye, and I didn’t think much of it after that.”
“This morning, though, she messaged me on Facebook and said that she wanted to let me know that she was really bothered by the fact that I wasn’t willing to walk home with her route when it wouldn’t have been any extra effort for me and it would have helped her feel more safe.”
“She said that as a woman, I should know how it feels to be unsafe and should want to help out someone else in a difficult situation. I explained to her that I actually would have had to walk for a few minutes in that unsafe area BY MYSELF in order to get home and that I didn’t want to do that.”
“She basically disagreed and said that it wouldn’t have made a difference which way I went, only one way I’d be with her and one way I’d be alone. I ended up just apologizing because I didn’t want to start drama within my lab group.”
“So AITA for not walking her way?”
“I think I might be the asshole because I definitely could have walked home her way, it would have taken maybe 5 extra minutes and I would have been with her most of the time, and it would have helped her to feel more safe.”
“Edit: I AM NOT A MAN, not sure why there are so many comments about sexism”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. So what she is saying is that her safety is more important than yours. Also get some pepper spray and stay aware of your surroundings.” ~ new_clever_username