The relationship between grandchildren and grandparents is unique.
Whether they live down the street from their grandchildren, or only see them a couple of times a year, there is no describing the love grandparents have for them.
But is it possible for a grandparent to love their grandchildren too much?
Redditor WiseTrainer2624 certainly seemed to think so.
Her mother was more than willing to watch her twin sister’s daughter while she and her boyfriend moved into a new house.
However, once all the moving and packing were finished, the original poster (OP)’s mother was less than willing to let her granddaughter go.
Resulting in the OP finding herself obliged to intervene.
Worried she was poking her nose where it didn’t belong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my mom to give my sister her daughter back?”
The OP first explained how her twin sister became a mother a bit earlier than her family expected but proved to be an adept, loving mother.
“This requires some context so I’ll keep it short.’
“I (18 F[emale]) have a twin sister (18 F) who’s had the same boyfriend since freshman year.”
“He’s also 18.”
“He comes from a wealthy family, and had a career lined up for him the day he graduated.”
“My sister is actually pretty responsible, so is he.”
“Which is why it was a shock to everyone when she revealed she was pregnant.’
“She swears they always used protection, and I believe her.”
“She’s not the type to skip out on that kind of stuff, nor is he.”
‘Well, for obvious reasons she finished senior year via distance learning.”
“The baby was born right after graduation.”
“I should also mention, they are responsible parents, even though they’re young.”
“About 2 weeks ago, her boyfriend started his new job and they’re about 4 hours away.”
“They moved and have been done for almost 2 weeks now.”
“They agreed to leave the baby here, I still live at home with my mom, while they move everything.”
“I FaceTime my sister everyday and she shows me her daughter’s room, and it’s beautiful.”
“She tells me how much she misses her.”
Unfortunately, after all the moving and unpacking was done, the OP’s sister found herself in for an unpleasant surprise when she came to collect her daughter.
“2 days ago, just over a week of moving my sister told my mom she’s going to come get her.”
“My mom said no and that she abandoned her and that she’s a gold digger.”
“Then her boyfriend called and my mom said the same thing.”
“They’ve been going back and fourth for 2 days.”
“My sister called me a few hours ago, and said she’s not playing any more games with Mom, and that tomorrow she’s waking up at 4 am, and driving down here to demand her daughter back and if my mom doesn’t give her up she says she’ll get the police involved, get attorneys involved and do whatever it takes to be reunited with her daughter.”
“After that conversation, I went downstairs to talk to my mom.”
“I said she should give my sister her daughter back.”
“She said ‘your sister abandoned this baby, she doesn’t deserve her’.”
“My mom said my sister is a gold digger and if she wanted her kid she would have got her by now.”
“I reminded her that she does, and I warned my mom that if she doesn’t give it to her nicely, my sister is not going to be so nice about it.”
“But then my mom said ‘just mind your business’ and to be honest, she kind of had a point.”
“This isn’t my business.”
“She also said the baby is what brings her joy and she feels a ‘special connection’ with her that she guarantees my sister doesn’t have.”
“I warned her one last time, ‘mom, don’t do this, she is not messing around and this will get ugly’.”
“And that was that.”
“I’m starting to think I was wrong to inject myself.”
“It isn’t my business but my sister is right- she deserves her child back, and I did witness the conversation of my mom offering to watch the child while the moved.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for standing up to her mother.
Everyone agreed that what the OP’s mother was doing was kidnapping, with many disturbed by her declaration of her “special connection” with her granddaughter.
“NTA.”
“But for real, your sister needs to get her baby away from your mother immediately.”
“Throwing around words like ‘abandoned’ and ‘special connection’ are red flags.”
“She knows darn well your sister didn’t abandon anything, she just doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings other than her own.”- Crazyspitz
“NTA.”
“And remind your mom that they did not abandon the baby.”
“Your mom agreed (and it sounds like encouraged) your sister and her partner to leave the baby while they got settled.”
“They are settled and ready to pick up their child.”
“Your mom is backing out of that agreement and potentially creating a legal issue for herself.”
“Not for them.”
“For herself.”
“You are not overstepping.”
“You are an adult and living in the home.”
“In some cases, this could also create a legal issue for you.”- sheramom4
“You are NTA, and that special connection line is scary!”- Peaceful-harmony-
“NTA.”
“Your mom could go to prison for kidnapping.”
“I understand she had the responsibility to care for the baby for a time.”
“But if that time passed, and she doesn’t return baby?”
“That is literally kidnapping.”- Background-Lab-4896
“Is your mother psychotic?”
“No one can just KEEP a baby.”
“Your sister should get the authorities involved before she arrives.”
“Bring the birth certificate.”
“And never, ever let her mother touch the child again.”
“This is like Hand That Rocks the Cradle level.”
“NTA.”
“But you need to move out yesterday.”-SolarPerfume
The OP later returned with an update as to what happened when her sister arrived for her daughter.
“It is 8:13 right now where I am, and my sister came and got her daughter.”
“My mom did resist though.”
“She said ‘you’re too young to be parents’ and gave her the speech about their special connection and my sister said ‘I’m not leaving this house without my daughter’.”
“Sister threatened to call the police and then mom walked outside to call her friend or something and my sister just went upstairs into my mom’s room, picked up her daughter, and ran out.”
“She is gone now, but I’m meeting her for breakfast soon while she’s in town.”
“Mom is crying saying ‘my daughter is heartless’ and is ‘too young to be a mom’.”
“That’s all, I just wanted you all to know my niece is safely reunited with her mother, and soon her father as well.”
The OP”s mother wasn’t exactly wrong in saying that she and her grandchild had a “special connection”, something all grandparents have with their grandchildren.
Unfortunately, what the OP’s mother had with her granddaughter was not a “special connection” but frighteningly possessive behavior.
One only hopes this episode didn’t permanently affect the future relationship between the OP’s mother and niece.
Hopefully, all will be forgiven after a bit of time and healing.