When the person you’re supposed to trust the most betrays you, it’s hard to get over.
Particularly if that person is supposed to protect you at all costs.
Case in point…
Redditor Cautious-Hat-9697 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA For Calling The Cops On My Mother?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Didn’t think I’d need to come back here so soon 🥲.”
“So I (22 F[emale]) received a visit from my mom for New Year’s.”
“She came with one of my cousins, and we hung out for a couple of days, and it was great.”
“The only time things were bad was when she asked if I could loan her about $500, and she promised to CashApp me the money back when she got paid next time.”
“I told her no.”
“She tried to argue with me, but I shut her down, and she let it go.”
“A week later I noticed my credit card was missing.”
“I don’t use it very often, usually just for a couple of automatic bills.”
“I had logged onto my account online to pay my balance since my check came through that morning, and I saw that my balance was much higher than I had expected.”
“There were three charges I expected, my electric bill and my phone bill and some gas, and then several charges that I knew weren’t from me.”
“They were for fast food, clothing places, etc.”
“I thought it might be a glitch, so I called my C[redit] C[ard] company and checked my wallet for my card.”
“I realized it was missing, and a nice customer service rep helped me with that whole process, but then I started walking through everyone my wallet had been around and every place it had been left since my last physical use of it.”
“I ended up texting my mom because it was stressing me out, and I felt like I needed to talk to one of my parents, but dad and I aren’t on great terms.”
“When I told Mom what happened, she told me not to worry, and that it wasn’t stolen, she had just borrowed it.”
“To be honest, I did lose my cool once I realized she wasn’t joking.”
“She insisted she’d cashapp me the money when she gets paid the next day and that she thought she’d be able to handle it before I even noticed.”
“I told her that’s not acceptable and to cut up my card (I deactivated it anyway).”
“She got upset and told me to stop throwing a fit and that she can’t believe I’m being ‘such a brat’ about helping her.”
“Things escalated from there, and I did call her some names before telling her not to contact/come around me and hanging up.”
“After that, I called the police both in my area and in her’s to see which precinct I needed to file charges with.”
“My mom has blown up my phone so much since this that I’ve had to block her, and she is posting all over Facebook about how I’m getting her thrown back in jail just for borrowing some money.”
“And how she can’t understand how she raised such a stingy child.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA? Or losing my mind? I don’t think I did anything wrong here.”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – You told her no, and then she stole from you in response.”
“It wasn’t even for things she needed either.”
“It was for shopping and indulging in buying herself restaurant food.”
“Turning her in is necessary.”
“It’s the only way that this stops being your debt.”
“The fact that you said thrown back in jail makes me wonder what she did to end up in jail previously.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong despite her behaving as though you did.” ~ Buttercup_Bride
“Yes. Also, for future security, if you use mobile banking, you can see if your bank does mobile alerts.”
“Mine does, so I get a notification whenever there’s a CC transaction.”
“It’s immediate and can give great peace of mind.”
“(Also protects me from scammers claiming there’s been a charge.)” ~ calling_water
“One smart thing anyone can do is use a fake ‘mother’s maiden name’ when setting up security questions.”
“I’ve been doing this for decades.”
“If anyone in my family tries to access an account or get past my security questions anywhere, they’re guaranteed to get that answer wrong.” ~ PoobersMum
“OP also needs to have her mother formally trespassed from her home and to tell the police that she’s being harassed over-reporting the crime by the perpetrator.”
“They can meet in public places- like the park; I’d avoid restaurants because we know how this woman is- if the mom gets over herself.”
“The kindest thing OP can do for them all is to treat her mother the way she would a stranger who had stolen from her.”
“OP deserves justice and OP’s mother deserves to know that actions have consequences.” ~ Jenna_Carter
“Yeah, that’s what bothered me the most too.”
“I could never condone a mother stealing her daughter’s credit card, but would be a little more understanding if it were to support her other children or something like that.”
“But fast food and new clothes?”
“How can this woman live with herself?!”
“And back in jail? She sounds like a real piece of work.” ~ BaitedBreaths
“OP stated in a previous AITA post that family holidays and gatherings with her genetic donors were ‘awful.'”
“It appears that her mother’s free-range approach to finances is among one of the reasons why–aside from an issue of being asked to participate in church services–she finds the company of her in-laws vastly more preferable.”
“OP, you are absolutely NTA.”
“If your mother is going back to jail, then she clearly is on parole or has enough priors that she is a frequent flyer in the system.”
“She asked for a loan, you denied it, then she proceeded to screw with your credit.”
“You’re doing what you need to do to escape any hole she digs to drag you into.”
“I am dead a** certain this woman will demand you pay her bail. Don’t.” ~ Samarkand457
“And supposedly she had the money anyway as she was going to Cash App it over.”
“Why didn’t she just pay cash for her items then?”
“She flat-out stole from you.”
“Used a card without permission and ran up the bill.”
“She caused you concern and a headache trying to figure out who had your card and now is acting like it is no big deal.”
“Glad you called the cops.”
“If she goes to jail that is on her.”
“That’s where thieves belong.”
“If she wasn’t a thief, she wouldn’t have these consequences to deal with.”
“Maybe she will think twice now before helping herself to the contents of other people’s wallets.”
“Doubtful though.”
“Seems she has been in jail before for reasons and still hasn’t learned her lesson as she did it again.” ~ Scorp128
“It’s sad that she even had to post asking if she was the AH, her Mum made her doubt herself.”
“I am guessing she was raised with her Mum undermining her feelings all the time.”
“I saw another comment to check their credit report, and I agree.”
“There was a post with loads of updates of a girl whose mum put her in thousands of dollars worth of debt, and I don’t want this happening to OP.”
“OP – NTA, but her Mum is and I hope she keeps up the N[o] C[ontact] with her.” ~ ZeldaMayCry
“NTA. Thrown BACK in jail?”
“So your mother has a habit of not being exactly law-abiding?”
“Yeah, you did the right thing.”
“Do not back down, press charges.”
“She is not someone you need in your life.” ~ Foggy_Radish
“For the love of cute kittens.”
“Your mother committed credit card fraud.”
“If this is the US, this is a felony and will be treated as such.”
“She should have thought about that from the beginning.”
“IF she didn’t wanna go back to jail, well, MAYBE DON’T STEAL S**T! NTA!” ~ RemoteBroccoli
“NTA – She stole your credit card.”
“Normally I think people are too quick to say go NC here but, yeah – time to cut her out of your life.” ~ jrm1102
“NTA. Also, many banks/credit card companies want a copy of the police report to refund your money.”
“By not following through with the police, some places will believe you gave mom permission to use the card and are attempting to scam businesses.” ~ tnvols32
“NTA. Don’t let her guilt trip you.”
“I got the feeling there is a long history of similar behavior in your past and you have plenty of reasons for doing this, not just one incident.”
“You do not need this toxicity in your life.” ~ RayTX
“NTA. Actions have consequences.”
“Criminal actions have significant consequences.”
“The fact that you said ‘back in jail’ means she was fully cognizant of what those consequences might be, but thought she could take advantage of you to avoid them.”
“She committed a crime.”
“It might not even be up to you whether she gets prosecuted.”
“Also, your CC company might require a police report in order to rescind the charges.”
“This is 100% on her.” ~ savinathewhite
OP came back to chat…
“Good GOD I didn’t expect that much feedback.”
“I posted this before I went to work, and I’ve been working through a serious customer rush since.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Your mom stole your money.
You would turn in any other person or stranger.
Why is she special?
It may be time to keep a significant distance between you and her.
So sorry this is happening to you.
Good luck getting those funds back!