If there’s anything that men use as an excuse to dismiss women more than any other thing, it would probably be menstruation.
Give a guy so much as a dirty look, and you “must be on your period.”
But since men really have no idea what it’s like to menstruate, is it fair to for a man to equate a their tantrums over sports to a woman’s mood swing during her time of the month?
Redditor hurtgirl_123 recently clashed with her roommate after he tried to do just that, so she turned to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) to see if she was wrong for calling him out.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my soccer-loving roommate that he’d never understand what it’s like to have periods so he should shut up?”
The original poster (OP) laid out what led to the confrontation.
“The roommate in question and I have a pretty good relationship with each other, we’re friendly and everything and hang out on occasion.”
“The other night I was doing an assignment from home and he was watching a football match on TV (or soccer as its called in the US). I paid attention out of curiosity whenever he would get loud or hype his team up.”
“His team lost around the 90th minute after a penalty kick was given to the opposing side when one of his favorite defenders on his team slid hard into the penalty kicker’s lower legs.”
“The goal was scored and the away team managed to hold off a comeback for the last two minutes.”
But her roommate’s obnoxious reactions bothered not just their other roommates, both other tenants in their building.
“It was already ridiculous that he was (very loudly) shouting expletives whenever, for practically any mistake his side made. We have two other roommates, a guy and a girl who were trying to get extra rest and he woke them both up with his shouting.”
“But when the penalty goal was scored by the away team, he just got even louder and was practically on his knees begging his team to come back in the last several minutes of the game.”
“When his team lost he legitimately burst into tears and was moody for the remainder of the night until dinner and all four of us had to shut off for the night.”
“The next day, tenants in the units next to us came knocking and were furious at my roommate for being so loud at night and told me to tell him to either stop causing so much noise, or watch his sports and get angry/yell/shout at a sports bar with like-minded people.”
When the OP relayed what the neighbors had said, her roommate decided to make an offensive comparison.
“I told him verbatim what the neighbors said, that he had to tune it down when watching soccer or do so without disturbing the neighbors. He said no, he can’t stand going to a sports bar and that it’s safer and easier to watch at home.”
“This annoyed me and I said he’s a grown man and he shouldn’t let a dumb sport control his emotions and make him moody as it shows his immaturity as a grown person with a job and an income.”
“He snapped back with something really offensive and said that I let some period blood make me moody for weeks on end and that I should shut the f**k up about sh*t I don’t know about.”
The OP wasn’t having any of it.
“This hurt me, really bad. I was almost about to cry but I kept cool and said that he didn’t know anything about being a woman and that I can’t control when or how I have my period or how it affects me physically, but he could control his antics over soccer.”
“I then told him that while he’d never understand what it’s like to be a woman or have periods, he should shut up himself and he should stick to the football. He got the message seeing me about to cry and said he’d try his best to be quieter watching the games and apologized for being rude.”
“My roommates found out about the disagreement and said that we’re both usually really good friends, we should hash out our disagreement but I really feel upset with him for what he said, AITA for being upset with my roommate over his lack of understanding?”
Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
They assured the OP that she had every right to be offended by her roommate’s comment.
“NTA”
“This guy has issues. Yelling and crying when his soccer team lost???”
“It’s really not that big of a deal. And on top of that, he was being misogynistic with the period comment.”—kingkweer
“NTA”
“Even if it wasn’t just the default, sexist comment people often resort to in arguments, I highly doubt that you scream and shout to the extent of getting neighbors complain when you’re on your period.”—Milkshakepirate
“It’s not even a *good* default. Men experience hormonal fluctuations just like women do, only it’s the rise and fall of their sex hormone over a day versus a whole month.”
“Those testosterone swings can make some men just as irritable and difficult as some women are during their hormonal fluctuations.”
“Funny how men screaming and raging or punching a wall in frustration is neeeeeeeever considered ‘hormones’ or related to fluctuating testosterone levels in any way. A man taking out his hormonal fluctuations on others isn’t a reason to discount his opinion or competency.”
“But the moment a woman displays an emotion a man doesn’t like, it’s immediately ‘haha look at your crazy hormones, obviously you’re incompetent and can’t be taken seriously and could never be president, because of your crazy raging hormones’.”—yes______hornberger
Perhaps the OP needs to rethink her relationship with her roommate.
“This whole discussion seems very VERY childish he needs to grow tf up and realize the world doesn’t and will never revolve around him.”
“People need sleep and there will always be more soccer games. If he can’t be quiet in the house get the fuck out and go somewhere else to scream. Thanks NTA”—Noitsnotpatrick
“NTA”
“The whole discussion was childish in the first place, how could he not realize that he shouldn’t be screaming, as it’s really disturbing, especially while people are trying to sleep.”
“Anyway his comment about periods was really wrong and you had every right to tell him off for that. Based on your post it seems like you weren’t screaming back at him, that’s in your favor.”
“Anyway, you weren’t being an a**hole. I honestly would’ve just made him keep it down during the game and if he didn’t I would’ve simply turned off the tv. It’s selfish to be that loud and he needs to see that.”—FriendsAtNight
“NTA also you’re way kinder than I would’ve been, such a sexist remark would be grounds to break a friendship over.”—Choebz
Hopefully the OP’s roommate gets the message and rethinks his backwards views, otherwise he might be looking for a new place to live sooner than later.