This should come as a surprise to no one, but… our bodies change as we get older.
We may gain weight. We may lose weight.
But the fact remains that we will not be the same size forever. Again, it’s no shocker.
However…
A teen on Reddit is quite perplexed after her older sister became angry with her that she couldn’t fit into the jeans she just bought after losing weight, so she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor karinatermina asked:
“AITA for getting jeans that won’t fit my sister?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My sister (24/f[emale]) is really upset with me (16/f[emale).”
“Recently I bought a few new pairs of jeans.”
“My normal size use to be about a 30 but over the course of a few months I lost a lot of weight and my size dropped to about a 25 (or 24 depending on the brand).”
“My sister had always been the skinnier of the two of us so whenever she gained some weight she would borrow my jeans because she was “too fat” to fit into her normal pair (a 26), and my clothes were there only things that would fit her without her going out to buy new clothes.”
“Yesterday I went to the mall with my friends and bought some new clothes because the majority of my wardrobe didn’t fit me anymore.”
… a reasonable solution.
“I bought a few tops, shoes, and three pairs of jeans.”
“When I got home I put the clothes to wash and went to my room.”
“After about an hour my sister walked into my room, visually upset, holding my jeans.”
“I noticed she was carrying them and apologized to her because I assumed that they were done for a while so I was hogging the washing machine and perhaps she wanted to put her load of clothes to wash.”
But that wasn’t the issue at all.
“When I went to grab them from her she stepped away not letting me take them.”
“I asked her what’s wrong and she asked who’s jeans were these for.”
“I told her they were for me and took them from her arms so that I can put them to dry.”
“She replied by saying they’re way too small.”
“I answered by saying that they fit me very well and I already tried them on at the store to make sure.”
“She scoffed and said “well they won’t fit me”.”
“I blinked and replied with “sorry I guess you’ll have to wear yours”.”
That certainly didn’t help matters.
“She seemed even more upset and told me about how she gained weight and can only fit into my size.”
“I listened and shook my head replying that i’m not her size anymore.”
“She left in a huff and i just watched.”
“I’m a bit confused and i’m wondering if I had said something wrong?”
“A few hours later she texted me that I shouldn’t get use to my body right now because it was just puberty helping me and that I will gain all the weight back quickly.”
“I don’t know how to reply and I’m honestly a little concerned that maybe I was too insensitive about the situation.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.
“For someone with such great clothing and size advice to give out you’d think she’d just buy clothes in her own size.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“She’s seems to be insecure about the change in your size.”
“Unfortunately it’s an example of someone who can’t just be supportive of you without comparing it to themselves.”
“NTA.”– Major_Barnacle_2212
“NTA. A 24-year-old woman is capable of buying her own jeans.”
“She shouldn’t be depending on her little sister to provide her with them.” – SomeoneYouDontKnow70
“You’re not being insensitive.”
“Just give her the other jeans that don’t fit you anymore if you want.”
“Your sister is being rude and acting quite entitled.”
“NTA, you’ve done nothing wrong by buying new jeans that fit.”
“This is unsolicited advice, but make sure you don’t put your jeans in the dryer :)” – NoSalamander7749
“She’s insecure and projecting because of her insecurity.”
“It’s not you being insensitive.”
“It’s all on her. NTA” – GothPenguin
“NTA. Not only can your sister buy her own jeans, but couldn’t she also just wear your bigger old jeans that she used to borrow?”
“Also I think your sister was a little out of line with some of her comments.”
“Ps my body weight also fluctuates it’s just a thing that happens to some people so I like to keep my old jeans and then I have multiple sizes to choose from.” – Main_Freedom_Fluff
“NTA.”
“Your sister is having difficulty adjusting to your weight loss, but her body issues have nothing to do with you or your clothes.”
“You don’t need to buy your clothing for her.” – ParsimoniousSalad
“NTA.”
“Your sister has been an adult for years and can buy her own clothes.”
“Her behavior is absurd.” – BrilliantSprinkles94
“NTA- She is taking her insecurities out on you.”
“Give her some of the Jean’s that you no longer fit into.”
“And tell her it was classless to speak to you like that just because she is feeling some type of way.”
“Frfr that was a mess.”
“My 10f and 9f are less catty and they argue over everything.” – Ok-Second-6107
“Lol your sister is projecting, god forbid you’re skinnier than her and she can’t wear all your clothes, nta” – stonerjisung
“as a 24-year-old woman myself, your sister has some serious self-image issues she needs to work out.”
“she is projecting onto you, even from the start when she used to wear your clothes because she was “too fat” to fit into her own.”
“her saying those words is her way of showing you how she feels about herself, while also inadvertently calling you fat.”
“ignore her, she will have meltdowns about it but they have nothing to do with you, so dont even give them your attention.”
“we all have our own problems, and she needs to deal with hers, instead of trying to make you feel as bad as she does.” – seekingopinionsofall
“Holy crap, everyone is on one today.”
“NTA. She’s mad that she can’t use you anymore for your clothes and can’t stand that you would DAREEEE buy something that only fits you!”
“And then she gets insecure and verbally abuses you – that is not even close to okay.”
“TOUGH. She can buy her own clothes!” – starksdawson
“ugh, I’m sorry your dealing with this.”
“MY sister was the same way, take my clothes when it suited her needs, refused to share hers but the kicker was i lost weight and bought my own clothes that i could tell he not to touch.”
“Wear what makes you feel great and confident!”
“NTA sister on the other hand major body issue vibes.” – Normal_Equal9928
“NTA, but have you guys been compared to each other by other family members? Even subtly?”
“Bc it sounds kind of like it.”
“She is old enough to buy her own clothes.”
“I would not be loaning her anything anymore” – PsychologicalAge5463
“NTA.”
“Aside from the obvious body insecurity and weirdly un-self aware, immature, entitled response from your sister, did something happen to your old jeans (which are currently too big for either of you, but in theory still exist and are apparently somewhat shared without issue)?” – HellaShelle
“NTA”
“She doesn’t want to buy jeans a size up because of her own insecurities.”
“That’s not your responsibility.” – cryssylee90
“NTA. From what I read it seems like your sister might be a lil upset she’s not the skinny one anymore.” – Josiejoji
“NTA. Congrats on the work you have done to go down a size.”
“You earned your new jeans. Enjoy them.” – ExoticSwordfish8425
“You’re 16. She’s a grown a** woman who can source her own clothing, she needs to stop b*tching about her developed woman’s body not fitting into a kids clothes.”
“NTA. I think it’s sweet you’re going to give her your old stuff, I dunno if I could be that gracious.” – PrettyByProxy
“Your sister sounds like she’s insecure and in a silent, one-sided competition with you.”
“You bought yourself clothes and were not even a conscious participant in her conversation because you had no idea what she was talking about.”
“You did nothing wrong NTA” – Luhvrrs_Lane
“nta. she is though.” – avalynkate
OP offered a couple of updates after considering advice from her fellow Redditors.
“Thank you guys so much for your comments and suggestions.”
“I’m reading everyone’s responses and believe I didn’t say anything wrong.”
“I do feel bad because maybe my words were just triggering for her.”
“I haven’t thrown out any of my old clothes because I was planning to sort through them to see what I can keep and what I can donate.”
“I’ll take some clothes out for her and see if she wants them. I’ll update if anything.”
It sounds like her sister is still a bit bitter, though.
“The last message she sent me was a little questionable saying “you’re going to get pregnant”.”
“Completely lost on that comment, but I’m assuming maybe that was for someone else?”
“I’ll give her the clothes tomorrow because I know she has some stuff to do the rest of the week and needs something to wear.”
“I really love my sister and hope she forgives me for anything I did to make her feel bad.”
In another update, OP revealed it was a “bad idea” to give her old jeans to her sister.
“Offering my old jeans to my sister was a bad idea.”
“I brought a basket of my old clothes to her room and asked if she wanted to pick some stuff out.”
“She seemed offended by the idea and said I was being rude and that she didn’t need hand-me-downs.”
“I took back the basket, and she kicked me out of her room.”
It seems that for now, the best idea for OP is to give her sister some space.
“I talked to my dad about what happened (our mom isn’t in the picture) and he said to just leave her alone, so i’ll just be giving her space.”
“Honestly I have no clue what else i could’ve done.”
That’s probably the best solution for now.